Herbert LomQuotes

Herod Antipas: [to a would-be assassin; Guard draws dagger to kill assassin] I am sorry. The hospitality of my house will be brief. We have guests. Out of sight.

Charles Dreyfus: If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau.

Charles Dreyfus: Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.

Johnny Smith: What about my question, Sam?

Dr. Sam Weizak: Huh? Oh, you mean the one about Hitler.

Johnny Smith: What would you do?

Dr. Sam Weizak: I don't like the sound of this, John. What are you getting at?

Johnny Smith: What would you do? Would you kill him?

Dr. Sam Weizak: [lifting drink] All right. All right, I'll give you an answer. Uh, I'm a man of medicine. I'm expected to save lives and ease suffering, and I, I love people. Therefore, I would have no choice but to kill the son of a bitch.

Johnny Smith: [sits back down] You'd never get away alive.

Dr. Sam Weizak: [lifting drink] It doesn't matter. I would kill him. Nasdrovia. Skol.

Johnny Smith: [[Hitler] If you could go back in time to Germany, before ] came to power, knowing what you know now, would you kill him?

Dr. Sam Weizak: Is that why you sent for me, to ask me this, uh... this question?

Johnny Smith: I've been tutoring this boy named Stuart. In the vision, I saw him drown. But that's not the point. In the vision, something was missing.

Dr. Sam Weizak: How - how do you mean?

Johnny Smith: It was like... a blank spot, a dead zone.

Dr. Sam Weizak: First of all, tell me, did the boy, in fact, drown?

Johnny Smith: His father wanted him to play hockey. I talked him out of it. The boy's alive.

Dr. Sam Weizak: Ah. Yes. Don't you see how clear it is? Not only can you see the future, you can...

Johnny Smith: I can change it.

Dr. Sam Weizak: You can change it, exactly. Here. Yes, John. That is your... your "dead zone." The possibility of... of altering the outcome of your premonitions. It's fascinating. Let me make a note.

Johnny Smith: How'd you find me? My father?

Dr. Sam Weizak: I stopped off to see him, and he told me you moved to a new town. He's worried about you. And so am I.

Johnny Smith: There's nothing to worry about. I'm taking care of myself. It's about time I started doing that.

Dr. Sam Weizak: I'm still your doctor, John. You're still under my care. We have to stay in touch.

Johnny Smith: Well...

Dr. Sam Weizak: [indicating his gunshot wound] How's the, uh...? All healed up now?

Johnny Smith: The bullet went right through me. It's nothing.

Dr. Sam Weizak: [He looks around] Good. Nice place you have here.

Johnny Smith: [He displays a closet filled with letters and packages] It's home... Let me show you something, Sam. My father passes these on to me. They're from people with lost family members, lost pets, lost friends, lost possessions... and lost lives.

Dr. Sam Weizak: You haven't opened any of them.

Johnny Smith: I don't need to. They all want the same things: reassurance, comfort, guidance, encouragement... things which aren't mine to give them.

Police Commissioner: The Chief thinks that you should give the eulogy.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The what?

Police Commissioner: The tribute!

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Me?

Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!

Police Commissioner: But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers!

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I'm the expert who would dearly love to–– to kiss his murderers, don't you understand?!

Police Commissioner: Now, the PR people loved the angle.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Sacrilege! I won't do it.

Police Commissioner: [[Politics] ]!

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: No. I'm a good Catholic.

Police Commissioner: So's the Chief's wife.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: [Hesitates] I don't care! What's she got to do with it?

Police Commissioner: She wrote the speech.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: [''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; ''coughs''; ''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; ''suppresses a laugh; feigns tears''; [Heaven; ''breaks down in tears of laughter''] Ladies and gentlemen… honored guests… dear friends… we are gathered here to say… good-bye… to a… a great man. . Not only was he a model police officer… a brilliant detective… admired and respected… by his fellow officers… and all those who were fortunate enough;–– enough;–– enough to know him… … he was, above all else… a modest man! . His kind, will not pass this way again… and our loss… is surely… ]'s gain! .

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The beggar was the lookout man for the gang.

Inspector Clouseau: That is impossible.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Why?

Inspector Clouseau: He was blind! How can a blind man be a lookout?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!

Inspector Clouseau: It's very simple. All he has to do is enlist...

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Shut up!

Inspector Clouseau: [answering the phone] This is Monsieur Gadbois - who is this speaking?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Don't you know? Hmmm? Hmmm? Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue - this is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried!

Inspector Clouseau: ...are you the headwaiter that works in the little bistro on the Rue de Bazaar?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: No, this is Chief Inspector Dreyfus! Idiot!

Inspector Clouseau: You understand that anyone could ask for Monsieur Guy Gadbois and say that they were Chief Inspector Dreyfus. What is your code-name?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Code-name... CODE-NAME?! I've never had a code-name, lunatic!

Inspector Clouseau: Only the real Inspector Dreyfus would know that he did not have a code-name.

Doctor: Describe your thoughts. Get them out in the open. You'll feel much better.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: All right. See, it's always the same. Clouseau is sitting there, in a chair, just like you, with his back to me. Then suddenly, my hands go round his throat, and I begin to squeeze (he does). It's wonderful. It's marvellous. I'm squeezing (and the doctor is choking...). And the more I squeeze, the freer I feel. I'm in ecstasy. And then suddenly, suddenly my problem is solvèd...

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Doctor! DOCTOR!

Inspector Clouseau: I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! ... It is amazing that I am still alive.

Inspector Clouseau: Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: YES! I wish you were DEAD!

Inspector Clouseau: Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: [to Francois, after accidentally shooting himself in the face] Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then help me find my nose!!

Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Now he's off to Gstaad. Today... a paradise in the Swiss Alps; tomorrow... a wasteland! Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer!