John GoodmanQuotes

Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. My point is: here we are. It's shabbos, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death.

The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin about?

The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic.

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!

The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Walter Sobchak: And you know this!

The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.

Walter Sobchak: [[w:Tevye|Tevye] So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? I'm as Jewish as fucking ].

The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.

Walter Sobchak: [[Moses] Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from ] to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! I'm— Jesus. What the hell happened?

Walter Sobchak: [talking to The Dude; [w:M16 rifle|M16; [w:M1 Abrams|Abrams fucking tank; [w:Viet Cong|Charlie] We're gonna see some tank battles. Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. I mean, that was a foot-soldier's war whereas this thing here should, uh, you know, should be a piece of cake. I mean, I had an ] Jacko, not an ]. Me and ], eyeball to eyeball. That's fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin adversary.

Donny: Who was in pajamas, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny. Whereas what we have here: Bunch of fig-eaters wearin towels on their head tryin to find reverse on a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy fuckin adversary..

Jesus Quintana: Hey! What's this "day of rest" shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush-league psych out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Woo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Walter Sobchak: ...He's crackin'.

Walter Sobchak: [[Nazis] Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking ].

Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?

Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament!

Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f— When do we play?

Donny: This Saturday. Quintana and—

Walter Sobchak: Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule.

The Dude: Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski?

Walter Sobchak: I told that fuck down at the league office–who's in charge of scheduling?

The Dude: Walter.

Donny: Burkhalter.

Walter Sobchak: I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!

The Dude: Walter.

Donny: They already posted it.

Walter Sobchak: Well, they can fucking unpost it!

The Dude: Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski?

Walter Sobchak: Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back.

Donny: How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: I'm Shomer Shabbos.

Donny: What's that, Walter?

The Dude: Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski?!

Walter Sobchak: [[w:Jewish|Jewish; [money] Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the ] day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle ], I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!

Donny: Sheesh.

Walter Sobchak: Shomer Shabbos!

The Dude: Walter, how am I going to—

Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking Shabbos.

The Dude: [leaves] Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm outta here.

Walter Sobchak: [looks at Donny and mouths "What a fucking baby". Donny smirks and nods] Come on, Dude!

Walter Sobchak: That wasn't her toe, Dude.

The Dude: Whose toe was it, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates—

The Dude: The nail polish, Walter!

Walter Sobchak: Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to take some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe.

The Dude: Someone else's?

Walter Sobchak: Pinking shears.

The Dude: Where the fuck are they gonna—

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it. Believe me.

The Dude: Yeah, but Walter—

Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon, with nail polish. These fucking amateurs! They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ!

The Dude: Walter—

Walter Sobchak: Now the point is—

The Dude: They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me.

Walter Sobchak: Dude, that's— That's just the stress talkin', man. Now so far, we have, what appears to me, to be a series of victimless crimes.

The Dude: What about the toe?

Walter Sobchak: Forget about the fucking toe!

Waitress at diner: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.

Walter Sobchak: Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

The Dude: Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man.

Waitress at diner: Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Walter Sobchak: Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

The Dude: All right. I'm outta here.

Walter Sobchak: [to the waitress; drinks his coffee, trying to ignore people staring at him] Oh come on, Dude. Don't walk away, man! C'mon, this affects all of us, man! Our basic freedoms! I'm stayin'. I'm finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee.

The Dude: She probably kidnapped herself.

Walter Sobchak: Huh?

Donny: What do you mean, Dude?

The Dude: Rug peers did not do this. Look at it! A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. she figures he isn't given her enough, you know. She owes money all over town.

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch.

The Dude: [[w:Vladimir Lenin|Lenin] It's all a goddamn fake, man! It's like ] said: You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know—

Donny: [[:w:I am the walrus|I am the walrus] ]"?

The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say?

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch

The Dude: Oh yeah!

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: That's ex— Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!

Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?

Walter Sobchak: Fuckin exactly what happened to those— That makes me fuckin sick!

The Dude: Well, what do you care, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fuckin thing! I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so this fuckin strumpet, this fuckin whore could waltz around town–

The Dude: Walter, Walter, I don't see any connection to Vietnam, man.

Walter Sobchak: Well there isn't a literal connection, Dude.

The Dude: Walter, face it. There isn't any connection. Your roll.

Walter Sobchak: Have it your way, but my point that—

The Dude: Your roll.

Walter Sobchak: My point is—

Jesus Quintana: Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up!

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes "click".

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.

Walter Sobchak: Eight year olds, Dude.

Bunny: [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.

Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

The Dude: He fixes the cable?

Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

The Dude: Fuckin Quintana. that creep can roll, man.

Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.

The Dude: Yeah.

Walter Sobchak: No! He's a sex offender, with a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.

The Dude: Oh!

Walter Sobchak: [[w:pederasty|pederast] When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a ].

Donny: What's a pederast, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Walter Sobchak: [[pacifism] You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in ] at one point. Not in Nam of course.

The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.

Walter Sobchak: You mean beyond pacifism?

Walter Sobchak: Fucking dog has fucking papers— Over the line!

Smokey: Huh?

Walter Sobchak: I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.

Smokey: Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.

Walter Sobchak: Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.

Smokey: Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The Dude: Hey, Walter. Come on. it's just– Hey man, it's Smokey. So his toe slipped over a little, you know. It's just a game, man.

Walter Sobchak: This is a league game. This determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong?

Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't—

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?

Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Give me the marker Dude. I'm marking an 8.

Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a pistol] Smokey, my friend you're entering a world of pain.

The Dude: Walter, man.

Walter Sobchak: You mark that frame an 8, you're entering a world of pain.

Smokey: I'm not—

Walter Sobchak: A world of pain.

Smokey: Look, Dude, I– This is your partner.

Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!

The Dude: They're calling the cops, man. Put the piece away.

Walter Sobchak: Mark it zero!

The Dude: Walter, put the piece away.

Smokey: Walter?

Walter Sobchak: [racks slide] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!

Smokey: [marks the card] All right. It's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?

Walter Sobchak: It's a league game, Smokey.

The Dude: Yeah, man, it really tied the room together.

Walter Sobchak: This was a valued, uh...

The Dude: Yeah.

Donny: What tied the room together, Dude?

The Dude: My rug.

Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?

Donny: What?

The Dude: Walter.

Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story?

Donny: I was bowling.

Walter Sobchak: So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know–

The Dude: Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?

Walter Sobchak: There's no reason–Here's my point, Dude–There's no fucking reason why these two–

Donny: Yeah, Walter, what's your point?

Walter Sobchak: Huh?

The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here. What the fuck are you talking about?

Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you–? I'm not...we're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude.

Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?

The Dude: My rug.

Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny. You're out of your element!

The Dude: Look, Walter–Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not— Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Asian-American," please.

The Dude: [[W:Transcontinental Railroad|a guy who built the railroads] Walter, this isn't ] here. This is a guy—

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you—

The Dude: Walter, he peed on my rug!

Donny: He peed on The Dude's rug.

Walter Sobchak: Donny, you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!

The Dude: So, who? Who...?

Walter Sobchak: Jeff Lebowski, the other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire!

The Dude: That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting.

Walter Sobchak: Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources. So that there's no reason–there's no fucking reason–why his wife should go out and owe money all over town, and then they come, and they pee on your fucking rug! Am I wrong?

The Dude: No.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?

The Dude: Yeah, but–

Walter Sobchak: Okay, then. That rug really tied the room together, did it not?

The Dude: Fuckin A.

Donny: And this guy peed on it.

Walter Sobchak: Donny. Please.

Walter Sobchak: Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives, and so would Donny: Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.

Walter Sobchak: Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran that's who I am!

Walter Sobchak: Language problem here. Little prick stonewalling me.

Walter Sobchak: Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit!

Walter Sobchak: Eh, fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.

Walter Sobchak: [smashes car] You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry? See what happens? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry!

Walter Sobchak: [[Nihilism|Nihilists; [Nazism|National Socialism; [w:ethos|ethos] ]! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of ], Dude, at least it's an ].

Walter Sobchak: I'm perfectly calm, Dude.

Harry Brock: Don't Harvard talk me. I didn't make my money by being an idiot.

Harry Brock: You show me a businessman believes in fate, I'll show you the first businessman who ever went broke. I started with a wagon, selling somebody's junk. And I got here in a silk suit, talking to a college know-it-all like you. If I lose it, I'll meet you right back here in this room, in a new silk suit.

Harry Brock: You don't save money, bud, you make it!

Harry Brock: Listen. Anybody that works in this room, tell them to do it good, do it fast, nobody gets hurt. I don't like a lot of people around all the time, and I don't like waiting for nothin'.

Helen Woodford Ruth: [shocked at Helen's revelation, Babe Ruth loses his temper and shoves the food cart before flipping the bowl in her face] Let me tell you something. I'm not on the dark of it anymore. The only thing I don't understand now was why they ever let you out because you are incorrigible. That's it, it's over.

Babe Ruth: Come on, kid. Don't say that. Let's have a rib and forget about this. You're right, I've been bad.

Helen Woodford Ruth: No! I am through, George!

Babe Ruth: Helen, give me a chance. We'll let waysides be waysides. Don't leave me like this, all right?

Helen Woodford Ruth: I am through with chances, George. I'm through with us. I'm taking Dorothy back to Boston and I'm filing for divorce.

Carl: Cause I'm a black man in a white man's world...

Detective Nyswander: Uhh, Mr. Hefler, you're caucasian...

Carl: Beautiful! Hold THAT against me too!

Stan: Must have been a problem with the electrical wiring.

Dean Ulich: That is not what the fire department thinks, Stan.

Coach Harris: Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was faulty wiring, we have to believe them. Dean, I got a big game coming up and I don't want their minds to be worried about where they will sleep.

Dean Ulich: Well, they should have thought of that before they burned their house down.

Coach Harris: Hey, what's done is done. Now where?

Stan: How about the freshmen dorm?

Dean Ulich: What about the students currently residing there?

Stan: OK guys, thanks to "faulty wiring" we have no place to stay.

Alpha Betas: [in unison] Yeah!

Stan: And those freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there!

Alpha Betas: [in unison] Right!

Stan: So as of this moment, the freshmen dorm is ours. Any room you want, take it! Break!

Ogre: Don't come back!

Ogre: There is your roommate, pal!

Dean Ulich: [through bullhorn] If I may have everyone's attention please, we can make this move as easy as possible...

Coach Harris: [through bullhorn] Now listen up men! I am going to see that each and every one of you is taken care of. You will be provided with the best possible food and accommodations. Now, go, go, go!

Coach Harris: [[wikt:crib|crib; [wikt:whip|whipped; [wikt:nerd|nerds; removes hat and throws it against wall] You know, when you were a baby in your ], your father looked down upon you and had one wish: "Someday my son will grow up to be a man". Well look at you now; you just got your asses ], by a bunch of goddamn ]. NERDS!! Well, if I were you I would do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my coach!

Emmett Kurzfeld: Let's go home.

Lorraine Broughton: That sounds good.

Emmett Kurzfeld: Cocksucker?" Really?

Lorraine Broughton: [chuckles] I'm glad it was convincing.

Fred Flintstone: [repeated line] Yabba-dabba-doo!

Fred Flintstone: [confronting Cliff when he's trying to escape being caught for his schemes; Pounds his fist into his hand] Cliff, it's time for you and me to "interface".

Fred Flintstone: [Pearl asks him if he's lost weight] Have we met?

Fred Flintstone: [Dino takes a steak from the grill] Hey Barn, you like your steak rare, right? Well, that one's yours.

Fred Flintstone: [Wilma tells him his secretary is very attractive] Really? I didn't notice. Did I mention she could chisel 18 words a minute?

Fred Flintstone: [[Earth; The dictabird repeats what he says] Fred is the greatest bowler on ]! Okay, now you talk and see how much I can remember.

Fred Flintstone: [he picks up a model house] Mr. Slate, I don't think you hired me just to sit here and look pretty. I hate to burst your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who is going to live in them?

Fred Flintstone: [Miss Stone asks him how he'd like his coffee] Uhh, in a cup.

Fred Flintstone: [Barney asks him what to call him now] Simply your highness will do.

Fred Flintstone: [Barney promises not to tell Wilma] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife. In my cave, I reign supreme. SUPREME! Thanks, pal!

Al Zimmer: Perfect! Could you give me just one more?

George: With pleasure.

Charlie Meadows: C'mon, Barton, you think you know about pain? You think I made your life hell? Take a look around this dump. You're just a tourist with a typewriter, Barton, I live here, don't you understand that? And you come into MY home... and you complain that I'M making too... much... noise.

Charlie Meadows: Look upon me! I'll show you the life of the mind! I'll show you the life of the mind!

Harling Mays: You're a rock star, man! You will never pay for another drink as long as you live.

Harling Mays: [to a hospital nurse] I'm on a list, baby girl.

Lester Siegel: The saying goes, "What starts in farce ends in tragedy.

John Chambers: No, it’s the other way around.

Siegel: Who said that exactly?

Chambers: [[Karl Marx|Marx] ].

Siegel: [[Groucho Marx|Groucho] ] said that?

John Chambers: [To Tony Mendez; [w:Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope|Star Wars; [name] If you're going to do a $20 million ] rip-off, you need somebody who's a somebody to put their ] on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who will produce a fake movie. For free.

Lawrence Woolsey: [describing his movie-making philosophy] A zillion years ago, a guy's living in a cave. He goes out one day, Bam! He gets chased by a mammoth. Now he's scared to death, but he gets away. And when it's all over with, he feels great.

Gene Loomis: Well, yeah, cause he's still living.

Lawrence Woolsey: Yeah, but he knows he is. And he feels it. So he goes home, back to the cave, the first thing he does, he does a drawing of the mammoth. And he thinks, "People are coming to see this. Let's make it good. Let's make the teeth real long, and the eyes real mean.

Lawrence Woolsey: Boom! The first monster movie. That's probably why I still do it. You make the teeth as big as you want, then you kill it off, everything's okay, the lights come up...

Gene Loomis: Y'know, it's hard to believe you're a grown-up.

Ruth Corday: No kidding.

Lawrence Woolsey: You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That's just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you'll do fine.

Howard: The country is on red alert. People are already scared.

Lawrence Woolsey: [Woolsey steps on a malted milk ball] Exactly! What a perfect time to open a new horror movie. Think of it, my friend. Millions of people looking over their shoulder, waiting for God's other shoe to drop, never knowing if each kiss, each sunset... ...each malted milk ball might be their last.

Lawrence Woolsey: [to theater staff] I know some of you have never been in the motion picture business before, and some of you have been at it a long time. But I want all of you to look at the faces out here during this picture. There's gonna be room in their heads for only one thought: "Don't let it get me!" They know we can't hurt em, but they're still gonna be scared half to death. And all of you, when you thread the projector, when you tear the tickets, when you sell the jujubes, you're all a part of it. And just when it gets the worst, when they're sitting there and their hearts are going like trapped animals out here in the dark, we save them. And they say, "Hey, it's all right! Thank God! Hey, can I see that again?" P.S., No, they can't. We clear between shows.

Lawrence Woolsey: Herb's an interesting guy. He used to be kind of, uh... dishonest: shakedown artist, strong arm. Someone sent him to collect money from me just when I needed an inexpensive actor. Isn't it fun to know these things about your favorite stars?

Bill Randa: (Last words before being devoured by a Skullcrawler.) Oh shit...

Bill Randa: (Upon seeing Kong's blood-stained handprint on the side of a mountain.) Magnificent.

Bill Randa: Send the cavalry.

Bill Randa: This planet doesn't belong to us. Ancient species owned this earth long before mankind. I spent 30 years trying to prove the truth: monsters exist.

Bill Randa: Mark my words, there will never be a more screwed up time in Washington.

Delbert McClintock: Spiders would find your barn a tad breezy this time of year. In that respect, spiders are a bit like you and me. No, I frankly doubt there are any spiders in your barn.

Dr. Jennings: Well, I frankly know there is, Delbert. I saw a web! There is a web in my barn!

Delbert McClintock: ...a web would indicate an arachnoid presence.

Delbert McClintock: Would anybody object if I tore this floor out?

Molly Jennings: I would.

Delbert McClintock: False alarm then. Lead on.

Sheriff Parsons: Excuse me. Professor? This is our town exterminator.

Delbert McClintock: Delbert McClintock, infestation management. Always nice to meet a collegue.

Sheriff Parsons: Now, he believes he came across one of the offending spiders a couple of hours ago.

Dr. Atherton: Might you have brought it with you?

Delbert McClintock: Actually, he's probably still at the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore.

Delbert McClintock: [discovering Dr. Atherton hanging cocooned and covered in spiders] Oh my god...They got the professor!

Delbert McClintock: [attacking a large group of spiders] Rock and roll!

Delbert McClintock: [after killing a spider] Yeah, that's right, I'm bad!

Graham Bloomwood: [talks to Rebecca] Life is like a swap meet. You never know when great riches... are going to turn up unexpectedly.

Graham Bloomwood: Your mother and I think that if the American economy can be billions in debt and still survive, so can you.

Big Dan Teague: Thank you, boys, for throwin in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetites. Even with lunch under my belt, I was feeling a mite peckish.

Everett: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.

Big Dan Teague: Thank you as well for the conversational hiatus. I generally refrain from speech during gustation. There are those who attempt both at the same time. I find it coarse and vulgar. Where were we?

Delmar: Makin money in the Lord's service.

Big Dan Teague: [snaps a branch off a nearby tree] You don't say much friend, but when you do, it's to the point and I salute you for it. Yes, Bible sales. Now, the trade is not a complicated one. There are but two things to learn. One: being where to find a wholesaler. The word of God in bulk, as it were. Two: how to recognize your customer. Who are you dealing with? It's an exercise in psychology, so to speak. And it is that which I propose to give you a lesson in right now.

Everett: Well, I like to think I'm an astute observer of the human scene, too, Big Dan.

Big Dan Teague: [hits Delmar with the branch] No doubt, brother. I figured as much back at the restaurant. That's why I invited you all out here for this advanced tutorial.

Everett: What's goin on, Big Dan?

Big Dan Teague: [Delmar grab's Big Dan's leg; Big Dan knocks Delmar out with the branch] IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, BOYS! THAT'S IT! Gol... durned... MONEY!

Everett: [Big Dan yells and knocks Everett unconscious with the branch] I don't get it, Big Dan.

Big Dan Teague: [pulls a wad of money out of Everett's pocket; Delmar jumps onto Big Dan, but Big Dan swings him around and throws him to the ground; opens the shoebox and is dismayed to see the toad inside] I'll just take your show cards... ...and whatever ya got in the hole. What the...? There ain't nothin but a damn toad.

Delmar: [Big Dan takes the toad out of the shoebox] No, you don't understand. That's Pete. Pete...

Big Dan Teague: [squashes the toad in his hand, then throws it against the tree; chuckles mockingly; gets in the car and drives away, leaving Everett and Delmar battered on the ground] You know these things give ya warts? End of lesson. So long, boys. See ya in the funny papers. Y'all seen the end of Big Dan Teague.

Big Dan Teague: [approaches Everett and Delmar's table] I don't believe I've seen you boys around here before. Allow me to introduce myself. Name of Daniel Teague. Known in these precincts as Big Dan Teague. Or, to those who are pressed for time, Big Dan, tout court!

Everett: How you doin', Big Dan? My name is Ulysses Everett McGill. This is my associate, Delmar O'Donnell. I detect like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.

Big Dan Teague: I flatter myself that such is the case. In my line of work it's plumb necessary. The one thing you don't want... is air in the conversation.

Everett: Once again, we find ourselves in agreement. What kind of work do you do, Big Dan?

Big Dan Teague: Sales, Mr. McGill, sales! And what do I sell? The Truth! Every blessed word of it, from Genesee on down to Revelations. That's right, the word of God, which let me tell you there is damn good money in during these times of woe and want. People are lookin for answers, and Big Dan sells the only book that's got em! And what do you do, you and your tongue-tied friend?

Delmar: We, uh...

Everett: Uh, we're adventurers, sir, currently pursuing a certain opportunity, but we're open to others as well.

Big Dan Teague: I like your style, young man. So I'm gonna propose you a proposition: You cover my bill so I don't have to run back upstairs, get your waitress to wrap your dinner picnic-style, and we shall retire to more private environs, where I will tell you how there are vast amounts of money to be made in the service of God Almighty.

Everett: Well, why not? If nothing else, I could use some civilized conversation.

Big Dan Teague: Don't forget your shoebox, friend.

Bill: I only got three rolls of film, I hope that's enough.

Violet: Dad, I'm only singing one song.

Bill: Right. I better go get another one.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?

The Dude: No you're not wrong.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?

The Dude: You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.

Walter Sobchak: Okay then.

Walter Sobchak: What do you do for recreation?

The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.