Memorable Quotes from John Goodman
67 quotesDiscussion on Quintana's Character and Past
The Dude
Fuckin Quintana. that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak
Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude
Yeah.
Walter Sobchak
No! He's a sex offender, with a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude
Oh!
Walter Sobchak
When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a ].
[[w:pederasty|pederast]
Donny
What's a pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Limited Film and One Song Performance
Bill
I only got three rolls of film, I hope that's enough.
Violet
Dad, I'm only singing one song.
Bill
Right. I better go get another one.
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A Casual Invitation to Go Bowling
Walter Sobchak
Eh, fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.
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Fred Flintstone Asserts His Authority at Home
Fred Flintstone
Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife. In my cave, I reign supreme. SUPREME! Thanks, pal!
[Barney promises not to tell Wilma]
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Astonishment at Kong's Presence
Bill Randa
(Upon seeing Kong's blood-stained handprint on the side of a mountain.) Magnificent.
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Tournament Schedule Discussion Among Friends
Donny
They posted the next round for the tournament!
Walter Sobchak
Donny, shut the f— When do we play?
Donny
This Saturday. Quintana and—
Walter Sobchak
Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule.
The Dude
Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak
I told that fuck down at the league office–who's in charge of scheduling?
The Dude
Walter.
Donny
Burkhalter.
Walter Sobchak
I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
The Dude
Walter.
Donny
They already posted it.
Walter Sobchak
Well, they can fucking unpost it!
The Dude
Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak
Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back.
Donny
How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?
Walter Sobchak
I'm Shomer Shabbos.
Donny
What's that, Walter?
The Dude
Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski?!
Walter Sobchak
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the ] day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle ], I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!
[[w:Jewish|Jewish; [money]
Donny
Sheesh.
Walter Sobchak
Shomer Shabbos!
The Dude
Walter, how am I going to—
Walter Sobchak
Shomer fucking Shabbos.
The Dude
Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm outta here.
[leaves]
Walter Sobchak
Come on, Dude!
[looks at Donny and mouths "What a fucking baby". Donny smirks and nods]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fred Flintstone's Bowling Confidence
Fred Flintstone
Fred is the greatest bowler on ]! Okay, now you talk and see how much I can remember.
[[Earth; The dictabird repeats what he says]
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The Need for Credibility in Deception
John Chambers
If you're going to do a $20 million ] rip-off, you need somebody who's a somebody to put their ] on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who will produce a fake movie. For free.
[To Tony Mendez; [w:Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope|Star Wars; [name]
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Cultural Identity and Personal Beliefs Clash
Walter Sobchak
I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. My point is: here we are. It's shabbos, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death.
The Dude
Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak
What the fuck are you talkin about?
The Dude
Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic.
Walter Sobchak
What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Walter Sobchak
And you know this!
The Dude
Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak
So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? I'm as Jewish as fucking ].
[[w:Tevye|Tevye]
The Dude
It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from ] to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! I'm— Jesus. What the hell happened?
[[Moses]
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The Importance of Making Money
Harry Brock
You don't save money, bud, you make it!
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Tribute to a Fallen Bowler
Walter Sobchak
Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives, and so would Donny: Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
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Exploring Emotional Issues in Dialogue
Walter Sobchak
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in ] at one point. Not in Nam of course.
[[pacifism]
The Dude
And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak
You mean beyond pacifism?
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Theories on a Kidnapping Scenario
The Dude
She probably kidnapped herself.
Walter Sobchak
Huh?
Donny
What do you mean, Dude?
The Dude
Rug peers did not do this. Look at it! A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. she figures he isn't given her enough, you know. She owes money all over town.
Walter Sobchak
That fucking bitch.
The Dude
It's all a goddamn fake, man! It's like ] said: You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know—
[[w:Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]
Donny
]"?
[[:w:I am the walrus|I am the walrus]
The Dude
You know what I'm trying to say?
Donny
I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak
That fucking bitch
The Dude
Oh yeah!
Donny
I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak
That's ex— Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
Donny
What the fuck is he talking about?
Walter Sobchak
Fuckin exactly what happened to those— That makes me fuckin sick!
The Dude
Well, what do you care, Walter?
Walter Sobchak
Those rich fucks! This whole fuckin thing! I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so this fuckin strumpet, this fuckin whore could waltz around town–
The Dude
Walter, Walter, I don't see any connection to Vietnam, man.
Walter Sobchak
Well there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude
Walter, face it. There isn't any connection. Your roll.
Walter Sobchak
Have it your way, but my point that—
The Dude
Your roll.
Walter Sobchak
My point is—
Jesus Quintana
Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up!
The Dude
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana
Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes "click".
The Dude
Jesus.
Jesus Quintana
You said it, man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.
Walter Sobchak
Eight year olds, Dude.
Bunny
You must be here to fix the cable.
[on video]
Maude Lebowski
Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude
He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life's Inconvenience and Personal Responsibility
Walter Sobchak
Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit!
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Discussion of Threats in Context of History
Walter Sobchak
Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking ].
[[Nazis]
Donny
They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak
Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Fame and Its Perks
Harling Mays
You're a rock star, man! You will never pay for another drink as long as you live.
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Efficiency Demands in the Workplace
Harry Brock
Listen. Anybody that works in this room, tell them to do it good, do it fast, nobody gets hurt. I don't like a lot of people around all the time, and I don't like waiting for nothin'.
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The Cycle of Farce and Tragedy
Lester Siegel
The saying goes, "What starts in farce ends in tragedy.
John Chambers
No, it’s the other way around.
Siegel
Who said that exactly?
Chambers
].
[[Karl Marx|Marx]
Siegel
] said that?
[[Groucho Marx|Groucho]
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Harnessing Fear for Entertainment Opportunities
Howard
The country is on red alert. People are already scared.
Lawrence Woolsey
Exactly! What a perfect time to open a new horror movie. Think of it, my friend. Millions of people looking over their shoulder, waiting for God's other shoe to drop, never knowing if each kiss, each sunset... ...each malted milk ball might be their last.
[Woolsey steps on a malted milk ball]
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Confrontation Between Helen and Babe Ruth
Helen Woodford Ruth
Let me tell you something. I'm not on the dark of it anymore. The only thing I don't understand now was why they ever let you out because you are incorrigible. That's it, it's over.
[shocked at Helen's revelation, Babe Ruth loses his temper and shoves the food cart before flipping the bowl in her face]
Babe Ruth
Come on, kid. Don't say that. Let's have a rib and forget about this. You're right, I've been bad.
Helen Woodford Ruth
No! I am through, George!
Babe Ruth
Helen, give me a chance. We'll let waysides be waysides. Don't leave me like this, all right?
Helen Woodford Ruth
I am through with chances, George. I'm through with us. I'm taking Dorothy back to Boston and I'm filing for divorce.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
What Do You Do for Recreation
Walter Sobchak
What do you do for recreation?
The Dude
Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
The Value of Individual Beliefs
Walter Sobchak
]! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of ], Dude, at least it's an ].
[[Nihilism|Nihilists; [Nazism|National Socialism; [w:ethos|ethos]
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Homebound Conversations and Unexpected Remarks
Emmett Kurzfeld
Let's go home.
Lorraine Broughton
That sounds good.
Emmett Kurzfeld
Cocksucker?" Really?
Lorraine Broughton
I'm glad it was convincing.
[chuckles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Address to Royalty
Fred Flintstone
Simply your highness will do.
[Barney asks him what to call him now]
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Floor Removal Proposal and Objection
Delbert McClintock
Would anybody object if I tore this floor out?
Molly Jennings
I would.
Delbert McClintock
False alarm then. Lead on.
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Rejecting elitism in business acumen
Harry Brock
Don't Harvard talk me. I didn't make my money by being an idiot.
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Unexpected Final Moments of a Character
Bill Randa
(Last words before being devoured by a Skullcrawler.) Oh shit...
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Exploring the Life of the Mind
Charlie Meadows
Look upon me! I'll show you the life of the mind! I'll show you the life of the mind!
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Being on a list and its implications
Harling Mays
I'm on a list, baby girl.
[to a hospital nurse]
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Fred Flintstone's Iconic Exclamation
Fred Flintstone
Yabba-dabba-doo!
[repeated line]
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Embracing a Fearless Identity
Delbert McClintock
Yeah, that's right, I'm bad!
[after killing a spider]
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Identity and Perception in Society
Carl
Cause I'm a black man in a white man's world...
Detective Nyswander
Uhh, Mr. Hefler, you're caucasian...
Carl
Beautiful! Hold THAT against me too!
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Fred Questions Housing Viability in Construction
Fred Flintstone
Mr. Slate, I don't think you hired me just to sit here and look pretty. I hate to burst your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who is going to live in them?
[he picks up a model house]
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A Request for One More Take
Al Zimmer
Perfect! Could you give me just one more?
George
With pleasure.
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Consequences of Poor Choices
Walter Sobchak
You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry? See what happens? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry!
[smashes car]
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Debate Over Fire Cause and Responsibility
Stan
Must have been a problem with the electrical wiring.
Dean Ulich
That is not what the fire department thinks, Stan.
Coach Harris
Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was faulty wiring, we have to believe them. Dean, I got a big game coming up and I don't want their minds to be worried about where they will sleep.
Dean Ulich
Well, they should have thought of that before they burned their house down.
Coach Harris
Hey, what's done is done. Now where?
Stan
How about the freshmen dorm?
Dean Ulich
What about the students currently residing there?
Stan
OK guys, thanks to "faulty wiring" we have no place to stay.
Alpha Betas
Yeah!
[in unison]
Stan
And those freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there!
Alpha Betas
Right!
[in unison]
Stan
So as of this moment, the freshmen dorm is ours. Any room you want, take it! Break!
Ogre
Don't come back!
Ogre
There is your roommate, pal!
Dean Ulich
If I may have everyone's attention please, we can make this move as easy as possible...
[through bullhorn]
Coach Harris
Now listen up men! I am going to see that each and every one of you is taken care of. You will be provided with the best possible food and accommodations. Now, go, go, go!
[through bullhorn]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Combat Perspectives and Competitive Tensions
Walter Sobchak
We're gonna see some tank battles. Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. I mean, that was a foot-soldier's war whereas this thing here should, uh, you know, should be a piece of cake. I mean, I had an ] Jacko, not an ]. Me and ], eyeball to eyeball. That's fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin adversary.
[talking to The Dude; [w:M16 rifle|M16; [w:M1 Abrams|Abrams fucking tank; [w:Viet Cong|Charlie]
Donny
Who was in pajamas, Walter?
Walter Sobchak
Shut the fuck up, Donny. Whereas what we have here: Bunch of fig-eaters wearin towels on their head tryin to find reverse on a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy fuckin adversary..
Jesus Quintana
Hey! What's this "day of rest" shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush-league psych out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Woo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Walter Sobchak
...He's crackin'.
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Fred Flintstone's Simple Request
Fred Flintstone
Uhh, in a cup.
[Miss Stone asks him how he'd like his coffee]
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Request for Reinforcements
Bill Randa
Send the cavalry.
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Shock at the Professor's Fate
Delbert McClintock
Oh my god...They got the professor!
[discovering Dr. Atherton hanging cocooned and covered in spiders]
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Celebrating Life's Energies Through Rock and Roll
Delbert McClintock
Rock and roll!
[attacking a large group of spiders]
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Fred Offers Steak to Barney
Fred Flintstone
Hey Barn, you like your steak rare, right? Well, that one's yours.
[Dino takes a steak from the grill]
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Fred Flintstone's Remark on Speedy Chiseling
Fred Flintstone
Really? I didn't notice. Did I mention she could chisel 18 words a minute?
[Wilma tells him his secretary is very attractive]
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The Thrill of Movie-Making and Audience Fear
Lawrence Woolsey
I know some of you have never been in the motion picture business before, and some of you have been at it a long time. But I want all of you to look at the faces out here during this picture. There's gonna be room in their heads for only one thought: "Don't let it get me!" They know we can't hurt em, but they're still gonna be scared half to death. And all of you, when you thread the projector, when you tear the tickets, when you sell the jujubes, you're all a part of it. And just when it gets the worst, when they're sitting there and their hearts are going like trapped animals out here in the dark, we save them. And they say, "Hey, it's all right! Thank God! Hey, can I see that again?" P.S., No, they can't. We clear between shows.
[to theater staff]
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Unexpected Treasures in Life's Swap Meet
Graham Bloomwood
Life is like a swap meet. You never know when great riches... are going to turn up unexpectedly.
[talks to Rebecca]
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A Warning About Political Turmoil in Washington
Bill Randa
Mark my words, there will never be a more screwed up time in Washington.
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The Existence of Ancient Species and Monsters
Bill Randa
This planet doesn't belong to us. Ancient species owned this earth long before mankind. I spent 30 years trying to prove the truth: monsters exist.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Mystery of the Toe and Nail Polish
Walter Sobchak
That wasn't her toe, Dude.
The Dude
Whose toe was it, Walter?
Walter Sobchak
How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates—
The Dude
The nail polish, Walter!
Walter Sobchak
Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to take some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe.
The Dude
Someone else's?
Walter Sobchak
Pinking shears.
The Dude
Where the fuck are they gonna—
Walter Sobchak
You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it. Believe me.
The Dude
Yeah, but Walter—
Walter Sobchak
Hell, I can get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon, with nail polish. These fucking amateurs! They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ!
The Dude
Walter—
Walter Sobchak
Now the point is—
The Dude
They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me.
Walter Sobchak
Dude, that's— That's just the stress talkin', man. Now so far, we have, what appears to me, to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude
What about the toe?
Walter Sobchak
Forget about the fucking toe!
Waitress at diner
Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak
Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!
The Dude
Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man.
Waitress at diner
Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Walter Sobchak
Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
The Dude
All right. I'm outta here.
Walter Sobchak
Oh come on, Dude. Don't walk away, man! C'mon, this affects all of us, man! Our basic freedoms! I'm stayin'. I'm finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee.
[to the waitress; drinks his coffee, trying to ignore people staring at him]
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Dining Etiquette and Conversation in Discussion
Big Dan Teague
Thank you, boys, for throwin in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetites. Even with lunch under my belt, I was feeling a mite peckish.
Everett
It's our pleasure, Big Dan.
Big Dan Teague
Thank you as well for the conversational hiatus. I generally refrain from speech during gustation. There are those who attempt both at the same time. I find it coarse and vulgar. Where were we?
Delmar
Makin money in the Lord's service.
Big Dan Teague
You don't say much friend, but when you do, it's to the point and I salute you for it. Yes, Bible sales. Now, the trade is not a complicated one. There are but two things to learn. One: being where to find a wholesaler. The word of God in bulk, as it were. Two: how to recognize your customer. Who are you dealing with? It's an exercise in psychology, so to speak. And it is that which I propose to give you a lesson in right now.
[snaps a branch off a nearby tree]
Everett
Well, I like to think I'm an astute observer of the human scene, too, Big Dan.
Big Dan Teague
No doubt, brother. I figured as much back at the restaurant. That's why I invited you all out here for this advanced tutorial.
[hits Delmar with the branch]
Everett
What's goin on, Big Dan?
Big Dan Teague
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, BOYS! THAT'S IT! Gol... durned... MONEY!
[Delmar grab's Big Dan's leg; Big Dan knocks Delmar out with the branch]
Everett
I don't get it, Big Dan.
[Big Dan yells and knocks Everett unconscious with the branch]
Big Dan Teague
I'll just take your show cards... ...and whatever ya got in the hole. What the...? There ain't nothin but a damn toad.
[pulls a wad of money out of Everett's pocket; Delmar jumps onto Big Dan, but Big Dan swings him around and throws him to the ground; opens the shoebox and is dismayed to see the toad inside]
Delmar
No, you don't understand. That's Pete. Pete...
[Big Dan takes the toad out of the shoebox]
Big Dan Teague
You know these things give ya warts? End of lesson. So long, boys. See ya in the funny papers. Y'all seen the end of Big Dan Teague.
[squashes the toad in his hand, then throws it against the tree; chuckles mockingly; gets in the car and drives away, leaving Everett and Delmar battered on the ground]
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Economic Resilience in Personal Struggles
Graham Bloomwood
Your mother and I think that if the American economy can be billions in debt and still survive, so can you.
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A Meeting of Conversationalists
Big Dan Teague
I don't believe I've seen you boys around here before. Allow me to introduce myself. Name of Daniel Teague. Known in these precincts as Big Dan Teague. Or, to those who are pressed for time, Big Dan, tout court!
[approaches Everett and Delmar's table]
Everett
How you doin', Big Dan? My name is Ulysses Everett McGill. This is my associate, Delmar O'Donnell. I detect like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.
Big Dan Teague
I flatter myself that such is the case. In my line of work it's plumb necessary. The one thing you don't want... is air in the conversation.
Everett
Once again, we find ourselves in agreement. What kind of work do you do, Big Dan?
Big Dan Teague
Sales, Mr. McGill, sales! And what do I sell? The Truth! Every blessed word of it, from Genesee on down to Revelations. That's right, the word of God, which let me tell you there is damn good money in during these times of woe and want. People are lookin for answers, and Big Dan sells the only book that's got em! And what do you do, you and your tongue-tied friend?
Delmar
We, uh...
Everett
Uh, we're adventurers, sir, currently pursuing a certain opportunity, but we're open to others as well.
Big Dan Teague
I like your style, young man. So I'm gonna propose you a proposition: You cover my bill so I don't have to run back upstairs, get your waitress to wrap your dinner picnic-style, and we shall retire to more private environs, where I will tell you how there are vast amounts of money to be made in the service of God Almighty.
Everett
Well, why not? If nothing else, I could use some civilized conversation.
Big Dan Teague
Don't forget your shoebox, friend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Spiders in the Barn
Delbert McClintock
Spiders would find your barn a tad breezy this time of year. In that respect, spiders are a bit like you and me. No, I frankly doubt there are any spiders in your barn.
Dr. Jennings
Well, I frankly know there is, Delbert. I saw a web! There is a web in my barn!
Delbert McClintock
...a web would indicate an arachnoid presence.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Crossing the Line in a Game
Walter Sobchak
Fucking dog has fucking papers— Over the line!
Smokey
Huh?
Walter Sobchak
I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.
Smokey
Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak
Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.
Smokey
Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak
Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
The Dude
Hey, Walter. Come on. it's just– Hey man, it's Smokey. So his toe slipped over a little, you know. It's just a game, man.
Walter Sobchak
This is a league game. This determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong?
Smokey
Yeah, but I wasn't—
Walter Sobchak
Am I wrong?
Smokey
Yeah, but I wasn't over. Give me the marker Dude. I'm marking an 8.
Walter Sobchak
Smokey, my friend you're entering a world of pain.
[pulls out a pistol]
The Dude
Walter, man.
Walter Sobchak
You mark that frame an 8, you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey
I'm not—
Walter Sobchak
A world of pain.
Smokey
Look, Dude, I– This is your partner.
Walter Sobchak
Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
[shouting]
The Dude
They're calling the cops, man. Put the piece away.
Walter Sobchak
Mark it zero!
The Dude
Walter, put the piece away.
Smokey
Walter?
Walter Sobchak
You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!
[racks slide]
Smokey
All right. It's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
[marks the card]
Walter Sobchak
It's a league game, Smokey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Origin of Monster Movies Explained
Lawrence Woolsey
A zillion years ago, a guy's living in a cave. He goes out one day, Bam! He gets chased by a mammoth. Now he's scared to death, but he gets away. And when it's all over with, he feels great.
[describing his movie-making philosophy]
Gene Loomis
Well, yeah, cause he's still living.
Lawrence Woolsey
Yeah, but he knows he is. And he feels it. So he goes home, back to the cave, the first thing he does, he does a drawing of the mammoth. And he thinks, "People are coming to see this. Let's make it good. Let's make the teeth real long, and the eyes real mean.
Lawrence Woolsey
Boom! The first monster movie. That's probably why I still do it. You make the teeth as big as you want, then you kill it off, everything's okay, the lights come up...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Revealing Secrets About Favorite Stars
Lawrence Woolsey
Herb's an interesting guy. He used to be kind of, uh... dishonest: shakedown artist, strong arm. Someone sent him to collect money from me just when I needed an inexpensive actor. Isn't it fun to know these things about your favorite stars?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Fate in Business Success
Harry Brock
You show me a businessman believes in fate, I'll show you the first businessman who ever went broke. I started with a wagon, selling somebody's junk. And I got here in a silk suit, talking to a college know-it-all like you. If I lose it, I'll meet you right back here in this room, in a new silk suit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Redemption and Self-Improvement Motivation
Coach Harris
You know, when you were a baby in your ], your father looked down upon you and had one wish: "Someday my son will grow up to be a man". Well look at you now; you just got your asses ], by a bunch of goddamn ]. NERDS!! Well, if I were you I would do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my coach!
[[wikt:crib|crib; [wikt:whip|whipped; [wikt:nerd|nerds; removes hat and throws it against wall]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Honor in Veteran Status
Walter Sobchak
Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran that's who I am!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Grown-Up Certainty
Gene Loomis
Y'know, it's hard to believe you're a grown-up.
Ruth Corday
No kidding.
Lawrence Woolsey
You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That's just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you'll do fine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Familiarity
Fred Flintstone
Have we met?
[Pearl asks him if he's lost weight]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Pain in Different Contexts
Charlie Meadows
C'mon, Barton, you think you know about pain? You think I made your life hell? Take a look around this dump. You're just a tourist with a typewriter, Barton, I live here, don't you understand that? And you come into MY home... and you complain that I'M making too... much... noise.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Am I Wrong
Walter Sobchak
Am I wrong?
The Dude
No you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak
Am I wrong?
The Dude
You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak
Okay then.
Encountering the Town Exterminator
Sheriff Parsons
Excuse me. Professor? This is our town exterminator.
Delbert McClintock
Delbert McClintock, infestation management. Always nice to meet a collegue.
Sheriff Parsons
Now, he believes he came across one of the offending spiders a couple of hours ago.
Dr. Atherton
Might you have brought it with you?
Delbert McClintock
Actually, he's probably still at the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Walter's Assertion of Calmness
Walter Sobchak
I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication Breakdown in a Confrontation
Walter Sobchak
Language problem here. Little prick stonewalling me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fred Flintstone on Interaction with Cliff
Fred Flintstone
Cliff, it's time for you and me to "interface".
[confronting Cliff when he's trying to escape being caught for his schemes; Pounds his fist into his hand]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Room Aesthetics
The Dude
Yeah, man, it really tied the room together.
Walter Sobchak
This was a valued, uh...
The Dude
Yeah.
Donny
What tied the room together, Dude?
The Dude
My rug.
Walter Sobchak
Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?
Donny
What?
The Dude
Walter.
Walter Sobchak
Were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny
I was bowling.
Walter Sobchak
So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know–
The Dude
Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?
Walter Sobchak
There's no reason–Here's my point, Dude–There's no fucking reason why these two–
Donny
Yeah, Walter, what's your point?
Walter Sobchak
Huh?
The Dude
Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here. What the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak
Huh? No, what the fuck are you–? I'm not...we're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude.
Donny
What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude
My rug.
Walter Sobchak
Forget it, Donny. You're out of your element!
The Dude
Look, Walter–Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak
What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not— Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Asian-American," please.
The Dude
Walter, this isn't ] here. This is a guy—
[[W:Transcontinental Railroad|a guy who built the railroads]
Walter Sobchak
What the fuck are you—
The Dude
Walter, he peed on my rug!
Donny
He peed on The Dude's rug.
Walter Sobchak
Donny, you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!
The Dude
So, who? Who...?
Walter Sobchak
Jeff Lebowski, the other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire!
The Dude
That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting.
Walter Sobchak
Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources. So that there's no reason–there's no fucking reason–why his wife should go out and owe money all over town, and then they come, and they pee on your fucking rug! Am I wrong?
The Dude
No.
Walter Sobchak
Am I wrong?
The Dude
Yeah, but–
Walter Sobchak
Okay, then. That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
The Dude
Fuckin A.
Donny
And this guy peed on it.
Walter Sobchak
Donny. Please.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.