Jon Voight Quotes

Muhammad Ali Man, if they came to me tomorrow and say, "We want you to fight Joe Frazier. Madison Square Garden. Millions and millionses of dollars. Here's your license back." I will tell them, "I will never fight again.

Howard Cosell Frankly, Muhammad, I'm surprised, because unless you- or until you fight Frazier--

Ali Cosell, are you losin your hearing along with your hair? Don't put no question to it, man. I done told you, I'm through fightin'. I got a much bigger contender, a much heavier opponent. I'm fightin the entire US government.

Cosell Do you think you're going to jail?

Ali I don't know. I don't know.

Cosell Joe Frazier told me on this show that he could knock you out.

Ali See, there you go agitatin'. You should've asked Smokin Joe what have he been smokin'? That boy even dream he whupped me, he better wake up and apologize. But if I ever was to get in the ring with Joe, here's what you might see. Ali comes out to meet Frazier, but Frazier starts to retreat. If Joe goes back up an inch farther, he'll wind up in a ringside seat. Ali swings with his left. Ali swings with his right. Just look at the kid carry the fight. Frazier keeps backin', but there's not enough room. It's only a matter of time before Ali lowers the boom. Ali swings with his right. What a beautiful swing. But the punch lifts Frazier clean out of the ring. Frazier still rising, and the referee wears a frown cause he can't start countin till Frazier comes down. Frazier's disappeared from view. The crowd is getting frantic. But our radar stations done picked him up. He's somewheres over the Atlantic. Now, who would've thought, when they came to the fight, they was gonna witness the launching of a black satellite? But don't wait for that fight. It ain't never gonna happen. The onliest thing you can do is wonder and imagine.

Ethan Hunt Yeah. Could we get a cappuccino machine in here? Cause I don't know what you call this.

Jack Harmon I call it cruel and unusual.

Claire Phelps Hey, I made that coffee.

Ethan Hunt Exactly. Is it possible that it's any worse than the sludge you made in that barn in Kiev?

Claire Phelps Thank you.

Jim Phelps Take it easy on my wife's coffee.

Ethan Hunt We missed you in Kiev, Jim.

Jim Phelps Missed you too, Ethan.

Jack Harmon You're off on one of your cushy recruiting assignments again?

Ethan Hunt Yeah, where did they put you up this time? The Plaza?

Jim Phelps Drake Hotel, Chicago.

Jack Harmon Ooh! Punishing! 24-hour room service!

Ethan Hunt Yeah, chauffeured cars.

Jack Harmon Fat expense accounts.

Ethan Hunt He's getting soft in his old age.

Jack Harmon Yes he is, look at him.

Jim Phelps All right. Now, listen, if that list gets out into the open, the names of all our agents in every country in Eastern Europe will be up for grabs to the highest bidders. Third World terrorists, arms dealers, drug lords, any and everybody who'd love to get rid of long-term coverts like us. If they're exposed, they'll be executed. So, I'll run the whole show from the crow's nest here. Everyone knows their roles. Let's punch out the details.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Yossarian, I want you to do something for me. I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think.

Yossarian What is it?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Chocolate-covered cotton.

Yossarian What are you, crazy?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder No good, huh?

Yossarian For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Is it really that bad?

Yossarian It's cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder They've got to learn to like it!

Yossarian Why?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton. How was I supposed to know there was going to be a glut? I've got a hundred warehouses stacked with the stuff all over the European theater. I can't get rid of a penny's worth. People eat cotton candy, don't they? Well this stuff is better - it's made out of real cotton.

Yossarian Milo, people can't eat cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder They've got to - it's for the Syndicate!

Yossarian It will make them sick! - why don't you try it yourself if you don't believe me?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder I did - and it made me sick.

Yossarian Those bastards are trying to kill me.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy.

Yossarian Oh yeah? Then why are they shooting at me Milo?

Dobbs They're shooting at everyone Yossarian.

Yossarian And what difference does that make?

Dobbs Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose everyone thought the same way you do.

Yossarian Then I'd be a damn fool to think any different.

Joe Buck Yours was the only one left with a palm tree on it. The clothes are damn cheap here too, you know that?

Coach Bud Kilmer The hard work of so many, sacrificed by the disrespect of few.

Luke Martin I have killed for my country, or whatever, and I don't feel good about it. Cause there's not enough reason, man, to feel a person die in your hands, or to see your best buddy get blown away.

Gary There's something down there.

Paul Serone That right.

Gary No, I really mean it.

Paul Serone I really mean it too.

Luke Martin The reason why I'm here is because a buddy of mine who'd been in Nam took his own life today. This is kind of a funeral service. And I'm here because I'm trying to tell people, man, if we want to commit suicide, we have plenty of reasons to do it right here at home. We don't have to go to Vietnam to find reasons to kill ourselves. I just don't think we should be over there.

Rudy Baylor I'm curious.

Leo F. Drummond About what?

Rudy Baylor I'm just wonderin'... do you even remember when you first sold out?

Jim Phelps I prefer the theater.

Flight Attendant Would you consider the cinema of the Ukraine?

Jim Phelps Perhaps you'll choose one for me. Thank you.

Voice on Tape Good morning, Mr. Phelps. The man you're looking at is Alexander Golitsyn, an attaché at our embassy in Prague. He is also a traitor. He has stolen one half of the CIA NOC list, a record of all our deep-cover agents working in Eastern Europe. For security reasons, the NOC list is divided in two. The portion that Golitsyn already has contains code names, but this half is useless without its mate, which matches the code names with their true names. It is this half which Golitsyn plans to steal from the embassy during a reception tomorrow night. Your mission, Jim, should you choose to accept it, is to obtain photographic proof of the theft, shadow Golitsyn to his buyer, and apprehend them both. We've already dispatched a team selected from your usual group. Sarah Davies is already undercover, Jack Harmon can hack into any security system, Hannah Williams will handle surveillance, your wife Claire will cover transport, and Ethan Hunt will be your pointman as usual. He is now in Kiev and will rendezvous in Prague at a safehouse of your choosing. As always, should you or any member of your I.M. force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.

Paul Serone Never look in the eyes, of those you kill. They will haunt you forever. I know.

Joe Buck Everything we got only set us back ten and some... Hey you know, Ratso. Rico, I mean. I got this damn thing all figured out. When we get to Miami, what we'll do is get some sort of job, you know. Cause hell, I ain't no kind of hustler. I mean, there must be an easier way of makin a living than that. Some sort of outdoors work. What do ya think? Yeah, that's what I'll do. OK Rico? Rico? Rico? Hey, Rico? Rico?

Derek Zoolander Who's winning the match?

Larry Zoolander State.

Derek Zoolander I think I'm getting the black lung, Pop. It's not very well-ventilated down there.

Larry Zoolander For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years.

Derek Zoolander Moisture is the essence of wetness... and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Larry Zoolander Why did you have to come back to this damn...town?

Derek Zoolander I wanted to make a new life for myself. I'm sorry I was born with this perfect bone structure. That my hair looks better done up with gel and mousse than hidden under a stupid hat with a light on it. All I ever wanted to do was make you proud of me, Pop.

Larry Zoolander With what? Your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hangin out for everyone to see? You're dead to me, boy. You're more dead to me... than your dead mother. I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.

Derek Zoolander Mer-man. Mer-MAN! Who am I?

Patrick Gates It's on the internet, there's no stopping it now.

Coach Bud Kilmer You disobey me, and I will bury you. I know about your scholarship to Brown. I got your grades under review. Don't think for a minute that I can't fuck with your transcripts, and get this whole deal blown for you.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Nately died a wealthy man, Yossarian. He had over sixty shares in the syndicate.

Yossarian What difference does that make? He's dead.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Then his family will get it.

Yossarian He didn't have time to have a family.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Then his parents will get it.

Yossarian They don't need it, they're rich.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Then they'll understand.

Coach Bud Kilmer Son, you are fucking up my universe. You're fat, you're slow...now all of a sudden you're lazy.

Adolph Rupp That's what happens when you don't talk to each other!

Joe Buck We ain't gonna have to steal no more, that's what I'm tryin to tell ya. I've got eight bucks in my damn pockets, twenty more come Thursday, boy. We're gonna be ridin easy before very long, I'm gonna tell ya. She went crazy if you want to know the damn truth of it...She turned into a damn alley cat.

Joe Buck You know what you gotta do cowboy.

Patrick Gates It's part of Freemason teachings. In King Solomon's temple, there was a winding staircase. It signified the journey that had to be made to find the light of truth. The lantern is the clue.

Ian What does it mean?

Ben Boston. It's Boston.

Patrick Gates The ], where Thomas Newton hung a lantern in the steeple, to signal Paul Revere that the British were coming. One if by land, two if by sea. One lantern. Under the winding staircase of the steeple, that's where we have to look.

Ian Thank you.

Patrick Gates Hey, you have to take us with you.

Ian Why? So you can escape in Boston? Besides, with you out of the picture, there's less baggage to carry.

Patrick Gates What if we lied?

Ian Did you?

Ben What if there's another clue?

Ian Then I'll know right where to find you. See you, Ben.

Joe Buck You want me to stay here. You're after somethin'. What are you after? You don't look like a fag.

Coach Bud Kilmer Your daddy was a no-talent pussy, but at least he listened!

Maury For Christ’s sake, it’s a casserole, Shiela, it’ll stay!

Mugatu Shut up! Enough already, Ballstein. Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel, Ferrari, Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anyone notice this?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING!! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done then I will. DIE, YOU WAGE HIKING SCUM!

Derek Zoolander One look? One look?! I don't think so!

Hansel There it is!

Todd MAGNUM!

Larry Zoolander Holy moley!

Maury Yeah, baby! That's what I've been waitin’ for!

Mugatu Dear God...it's beautiful!

Coach Bud Kilmer You got to be the dumbest smart kid I know.

Joe Buck Well, sir, I ain't a for-real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud.

Joe Buck You know what you can do with them dishes. And if you ain't man enough to do it for yourself, I'd be happy to oblige. I really would.

Coach Bud Kilmer It makes me wonder if you know the difference between a sneeze and a wet fart!

Coach Bud Kilmer Never show weakness, the only pain that matters is the pain you inflict.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder We're gonna come out of this war rich!

Yossarian You're gonna come out rich. We're gonna come out dead.

John Adams Gates OK, here we go. It was 1832, on a night much like this. Charles Carroll was the last surviving signer of the Declaration of Independence. He was also a member of a secret society known as the Masons, and... he knew he was dying. He woke up his stable boy in the middle of the night and ordered him to take him to the White House to see Andrew Jackson because it was very urgent that he speak to the President.

Young Ben Gates Did he talk to him?

John Adams Gates No. He never got the chance. The President wasn't there that night, but Charles Carroll had a secret. So he took into his confidence the one person he could: my grandfather's grandfather, Thomas Gates.

Young Ben Gates What was his secret?

John Adams Gates A treasure! A treasure beyond all imagining. A treasure that had been fought over for centuries by tyrants, pharaohs, emperors, warlords. And every time it changed hands, it grew larger. And then, suddenly, it vanished. It didn't reappear for more than a thousand years when knights from the First Crusade found hidden vaults beneath the Temple of Solomon. You see, the knights who found the vaults believed that the treasure was too great for any one man, not even a king. They brought the treasure back to Europe and took the name... the Knights Templar. Over the next century, they smuggled it out of Europe and formed a new brotherhood known as the Freemasons, in honor of the builders of the Great Temple. War followed. By the time of the American Revolution, the treasure had been hidden again. By then, the Masons came to include George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Paul Revere. They knew they had to make sure the treasure would never fall into the hands of the British, so they devised a series of clues and maps to its location. Over time the clues were lost or forgotten, until only one remained. And that was the secret that Charles Carroll entrusted to young Thomas Gates.

Charles Carroll Charlotte.

Young Ben Gates Who's Charlotte?

John Adams Gates Oh, not even Mr. Carroll knew that. Now, look here, Ben. The Freemasons among our Founding Fathers left us clues like these. The unfinished pyramid, the all-seeing eye. Symbols of the Knights Templar, guardians of the treasure. They are speaking to us through these.

Patrick Gates You mean laughing at us. You know what that dollar represents: the entire Gates family fortune. Six generations of fools... chasing after fool's gold.

John Adams Gates It's not about the money, Patrick. It's never been about the money!

Patrick Gates Come on, son. Time to go. You can say your goodbyes.

Joe Buck Lotta rich women back there, Ralph, begging for it, paying for it, too...and the men - they're mostly tutti fruttis. So I'm gonna cash in on some of that, right?...Hell, what do I got to stay around here for? I got places to go, right?

Tape Recorder This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.

Jack Harmon Stick of gum, right? No. Red light, green light. Come up against a lock you can't pick, you mash them together... Hasta lasagna, don't get any on ya. You'll have about five seconds. Just don't chew it.

Senator John Waltzer I want to know who these people are and how they're spending our taxpayers money. We were living in a democracy the last time I checked.

Max I don't have to tell you what a comfort anonymity can be in my profession. It's like a warm blanket.

Franz Krieger Try any sleight of hand with my money and I'll cut your throat.

Jim Phelps When you think about it, Ethan, it was inevitable. No more Cold War. No more secrets you keep from everyone but yourself. Operations, you answer to no one but yourself. And then one day, you wake up, the President of the United States is running the country without your permission. That son-of-a-bitch,Kittridge !? how-dare-he? And you realize, it's over. You're an obsolete piece of hardware not worth upgrading, you got a lousy marriage and sixty-two grand a year.

Luke Martin You know, I spend 95% of the time at the hospital thinking of making love with you.

Marine Recruiter The Marine Corps builds body, mind and spirit. Thank you.

High School Class Pres. And now, with a different perspective, we have Luke Martin, combat veteran of the Marine Corps.

Luke Martin Sergeant, do you mind if I ask you a question?

Marine Recruiter No, sir.

Luke Martin Just call me Sergeant. That’s what I was. Where were you stationed?

Marine Recruiter ].

Luke Martin You know, you want to be a part of it, patriotic, go out and get your licks in for the U.S. of A. And when you get over there, it's a totally different situation. I mean, you grow up real quick. Because all you're seeing is, uhm, a lot of death. And I know some of you guys are going to look at the uniformed man and you're going to remember all the films and you're going to think about the glory of other wars and think about some vague patriotic feeling and go off and fight this turkey too. And I'm telling you it ain't like it's in the movies. That's all I want to tell you, because I didn't have a choice. When I was your age, all I got was some guy standing up like that, man, giving me a lot of bullshit, man, which I caught. I was really in good shape then, man. I was captain of the football team. And I wanted to be a war hero, man, I wanted to go out and kill for my country.And now I'm here to tell ya that I have killed for my country, or whatever. And I don't feel good about it. Because there's not enough reason, man, to feel a person die in your hands or to see your best buddy get blown away. I'm here to tell ya it's a lousy thing, man. I don't see any reason for it. And there's a lot of shit that I did over there that I find fucking hard to live with. And I don't want to see people like you, man, comin back and having to face the rest of your lives with that kind of shit. It's as simple as that. I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm a lot fuckin smarter now than when I went. And I'm just tellin ya, there's a choice to be made here.

Muhammad Ali Man, without me, you'd just be a mouth and a microphone.

Howard Cosell And without me, you'd just be a mouth.

Denise Kalberg No, Mateo's probably just lost.

Warren Westridge Oh, WAKE UP!

Paul Serone Imagine, something this big captured alive. That's worth a lot of money, Gary.

Terri Flores Jesus...

Paul Serone Please people. Don't make me out a monster. I didn't eat the captain Mateo.

Howard Cosell We'll be right back.

Muhammad Ali You want some food for that thing?

Cosell How could you do something like that to a man you revere?

Ali Cos it's funny.