Memorable Quotes from Rick Moranis
50 quotesVacationing During the War: A Unique Perspective
Doug McKenzie
Psst, act! Act!
[directing Bob]
Bob McKenzie
Lucky for me, I'd been off planet - on vacation at the time of the war, eh. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time looking for beer.
[voice-over]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morgue Humor in Little Giants Scene
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Death shrouds.
Danny O'Shea
They've got your names on the back.
[Turns one around]
Jake "Berminator" Berman
So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Victory of the Unintelligent
Dark Helmet
So, Lone Starr, now you see that ] will always triumph, because ] is dumb.
[[evil; [good]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Initiating Ludicrous Speed Command
Dark Helmet
Ludicrous Speed, Go!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Barney Rubble's Defiant Statement
Barney Rubble
NOT THIS TIME!!!
[After Fred needs a couple of Bucks]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absurdity of a Foolish Combination
Dark Helmet
1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encounter with a Fleshy-Headed Mutant
Bob McKenzie
Fleshy-headed mutant. Are you friendly?
Doug McKenzie
No way, eh? Ra-... radiation has made... me an enemy of civilization.
Bob McKenzie
Alpha Base. This is Bob McKenzie. I've spotted a fleshy-headed mutant in sector 16B.
[into a comm unit]
Doug McKenzie
Ahhh! Take off, you hoser.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Loss and Disappointment
Bob McKenzie
My brother and I used to say that drownin in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he's not here, and I've got two soakers... this isn't heaven. This sucks!
[to Pam in a beer tank that's being flooded with beer]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet's Regretful Realization
Dark Helmet
What have I done?! My ]s are going into my feet!
[feeling the force of going at Ludicrous Speed; [brain]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Penalty for Elbowing in Hockey
Bob McKenzie
Jeez, two minutes for elbowing!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heated Moment on the Field
Danny O'Shea
C'mon, ref! This isn't American Gladiators! That was a cheap shot!
Referee
No penalty, no penalty.
Timmy Moore
Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greeley?
[Dazed]
Rudy Zolteck
Wow, Spike knocked him all the way back to second grade!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Rivalry and Unresolved Resentment
Danny O'Shea
This whole town may love you, but I'm the only one who knows how truly sick you are!
Kevin O'Shea
I treated you like a prince!
Danny O'Shea
You ignored me!
Kevin O'Shea
I took you to see the Cleveland Indians!
Danny O'Shea
You left me at the stadium!
Kevin O'Shea
Ahh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet Questions Colonel Sandurz's Courage
Dark Helmet
What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz?! Chicken?!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Barney Rubble Requests Attention for Announcement
Barney Rubble
Can I have everyone's attention, please? (Caveman: I hope it's not another poem)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Team Spirit Amidst Adversity
Rudy Zolteck
Great, now they have Spike.
Jake "Berminator" Berman
And we got nothing.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
We got us.
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah! We stink!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Cause you can't catch, Hot Hands.
Rudy Zolteck
At least he can walk, Crush Jerk.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Hey Zolteck, have another Pop Tart!
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah, fart boy, or can't you open your big mouth wide enough?!?
Danny O'Shea
Okay, guys, that's enough.
Junior Floyd
Yeah, Coach's right. Break it up.
Rudy Zolteck
Oh, shut up, Junior! You're so good, it makes us sick!
Junior Floyd
Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm outta here.
[Pause; Leaves]
Becky
Nice work! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team.
Marcus, the kicker
Hey, if it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and played a little more football!
Little Giants
Yeah!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Why can't we all just play together?
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit!
Rudy Zolteck
Yeah, quit bawling you big baby!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
I can cry if I want! It's a free country! I can even do this!
[kicks Rudy's leg]
Rudy Zolteck
Ow! Ow!
Marcus, the kicker
Nice kick.
[Impressed]
Danny O'Shea
Guys, practice isn't over yet.
Little Giants
Who cares?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gender and Team Dynamics in Sports
Danny O'Shea
Look, with this guy on the team, we got an actual shot at winning this thing. Just give me a minute to see if I can get him used to the idea of playing with a girl.
Becky
You don't think I can take him, do you? This is a bunch of crap.
[Disgusted; Danny is disgustedly speechless; a car horn is heard; She storms off to tend to the honking car while Danny returns to practice]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Promise of Future Repayment
Barney Rubble
Someday, I'll pay him back! Someday, somehow.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Love and Acceptance
Barney Rubble
Well, he's not really what we expected, but we'll love him like he was our own.
[The adoption agent shows them a monkey]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Observation About Runway Length
Barry Nye
Isn't that the runway?
Pilot
Geez, I hope not. If that runway was any shorter, it'd be a patio!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspective Matters in Unexpected Ways
Barney Rubble
Not from the back.
[Fred says he's only one man]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet's Challenge to Lone Starr
Dark Helmet
There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!
[Mr. Radar has just been "jammed" with raspberry.; pulls down helmet as camera zooms in on his face; camera slams into his face and knocks him out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Call for Help from Thelma Mae
Danny O'Shea
State police? Oh, thank God! My name is Thelma Mae Rogers. I'm 86 years old. I live in Urbania. There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station spying on some kids! We're all really scared. I just don't think it's right for men their age to be parading around in their underwear!
[Disguising his voice as an old lady; Passes the phone to Timmy, who feign cries]
Timmy Moore
Please hurry!
Danny O'Shea
Oh, no! Nice job.
[Hangs up the phone; High fives Timmy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fear of Rejection and Hiding Away
Danny O'Shea
You know, there is something you guys should know. When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. I never got off it.
[When the Little Giants, losing at the half, want to be put on the injured list]
Timmy "Rawhide" Moore
Why?
Danny O'Shea
Because I didn't get picked a few times, so I started hiding under the bleachers.
Marcus "The Toe
That's where we belong. Under the bleachers.
Danny O'Shea
No, you don't. You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother.
Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck
Give us a break, coach. You could never beat Kevin O'Shea at anything!
Danny O'Shea
That's not true. I did beat him once.
Jake "Berminator" Berman
When?
Danny O'Shea
When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill every day after school. We raced every day and he always beat me, but one time - one time - I beat him.
Jake "Berminator" Berman:
You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?
Danny O'Shea
Yes, I did. He ate my dust.
Johnny "Viper" Vennaro
Big deal. One time.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
You know, one time at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a backflip off the high dive, and my brother chickened out.
Marcus "The Toe
Roger chickened out? He's a Marine!
Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck
Ah, that's nothing! One time at the spring carnival, I beat both of my brothers in the Cow Dung Toss.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?
Jake "Berminator" Berman
You know, one time I went fishing with my entire family, and I was the only one that didn't throw up.
Marcus "The Toe
So what? It still doesn't make us good football players.
Danny O'Shea
Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you can pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves...
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
One time.
Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck
One time.
Junior Floyd
Yeah...one time!
[Smiles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identifying the Lead Blocker in Football
Spike
Who's Spike's lead blocker?
Danny O'Shea
The Icebox.
Spike
Where's he at?
Becky
Right here.
Spike
Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl?
[Stunned after learning Icebox is female]
Becky
Gee, good eye.
[Sarcastic]
Spike
Spike don't play with girls
Danny O'Shea
She's pretty good, Spike.
Spike
Spike don't care. Didn't you hear? Spike don't play with-
Becky
I can tackle anything. Anytime. Anywhere. Got that?
Spike
Look, you berzerko Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike, you mess with death.
Becky
You can talk the talk. But can you walk the walk?
Spike
Try me!
Becky
I will!
Spike
Let's go!
Becky
Right now!
Jake "Berminator" Berman
Somebody call 911!
[Puts his hands on his helmet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Marriage Announcement in Courtroom
Bob McKenzie
I do.
[in court, after being sworn in]
Doug McKenzie
I do.
Bob McKenzie
I guess we're married, clerk.
Doug McKenzie
Oh.
Bob McKenzie
Where's the honeymoon?
The Judge
Order, Order!
Bob McKenzie
Gimmie a toasted back bacon, hold the toast.
Doug McKenzie
Don't make me laugh, eh.
The Judge
I remind you not to speak, until you are spoken to!
Bob McKenzie
He's startin to sound like the old man. Soon he'll be sending me out for beers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet's Disdain for Yogurt
Dark Helmet
Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Twist on Jedi References
Doug McKenzie
I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
Bob McKenzie
He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Job Acquisition and Test Switching Confession
Barney Rubble
That does it! The only reason you got that job is cause I switched tests with you.
[to Fred about getting a job as a vice president]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with malfunctioning technology
Dark Helmet
Out of order?! Fuck! Even in the ] nothing works!
[about the self-destruct cancellation button being out of order; [future]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Connections Explained Humorously
Dark Helmet
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
[To Lone Starr]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Twisted Schwartz
Dark Helmet
Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Interest in Football
Danny O'Shea
Do you play football?
Timmy Moore
No.
Danny O'Shea
Do you like football?
Timmy Moore
No.
Danny O'Shea
Do you wanna play football?
Timmy Moore
No.
Danny O'Shea
Great, you can be on our team.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Operation "Vacu-Suck" Initiated
Dark Helmet
Commence operation "Vacu-Suck"!
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Waiting for the right moment
Wayne Szalinski
Found them. I think we'd better give them a while though.
[after Wayne finds Nick and Mandy in the shrunken car]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tech Troubles and Brotherly Banter
Doug McKenzie
Figures you wouldn't know how to work it if it's got a computer.
Bob McKenzie
Oh yeah, Mister Wizard, you know, eh...
Doug McKenzie
Let me try, I'm a genius.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of Scientific Experimentation
Wayne Szalinski
Oh no. Honey, I shrunk the kids.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet Asserts Control Over Princess Vespa
Dark Helmet
Now we'll show her who is in charge of this ]. Hold it...I'll handle this personally. So Princess Vespa, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well you were wrong. You are now our prisoner and you will be held captive until such time as all the air is transferred from your ]...to ours. She's not in there!
[[galaxy; A soldier volunteers, but Helmet stops him; Soldier: Jawohl, Lord Helmet!; [planet; pauses, looking at the camera, then opens door, but finds nothing, then lifts helmet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Barney Encourages Bamm-Bamm to Speak
Barney Rubble
Come on, say "Dadda"! (Bamm-Bamm keeps saying his own name)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Comment on a Character's Appeal
Dark Helmet
I bet she gives great helmet.
[ogling Dr. Philip Schlotckens' nurse]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gozer the Traveler
Dr. Egon Spengler
[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Vinz Clortho and is now the Keymaster] Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Challenge of the Schwartz
Dark Helmet
You have the ring. And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you handle it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet's Frustration with a Rival
Dark Helmet
Come back, you fat bearded bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Accountability in Crisis
Barney Rubble
(An angry mob about to hang Fred asks him if he knows him) Well, he used to be my best friend. In fact, it's probably because of me that you all are in this mess. (Mob leader: Hang them both.)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surrounded by Assholes in Spaceballs
Dark Helmet
How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow? Yo!] I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes! Keep firing, Assholes!
['''Everyone On-Board:''' [raises hands; except one; lowers helmet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Free Beer and Sausages Await You
Bob McKenzie
Eh... Hosehead, once you get there you can have all the free beer and sausages you want.
[to their dog]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Reflection on Filming and Beer
Bob McKenzie
This movie was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Parental Responsibility in Unusual Situations
Wayne Szalinski
We're his parents, we'll handle this. Diane, how do we handle this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assessing Interest in Potential Connections
Jack Moniker
Check it out. What about those two?
Barry Steinberg
Eh... I don't think they're interested.
Barry Nye
Too tall.
Jack Moniker
Come on. They were just talking to me about you.
Barry Steinberg
No.
Barry Nye
Really? Then what?
Jack Moniker
They said you weren't fit to sleep with pigs, but I stood up for you. I said you were.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Victory in Court for the Ghostbusters
Dr. Peter Venkman
You're next, Bubbles.
Judge Wexler
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!
[screams]
Louis Tully
Hooray, we won the case!
Judge Wexler
Now do something!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Helmet's Farewell to Companions
Dark Helmet
Say goodbye to your two best ], and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago.
[[friends]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.