Stanley Tucci Quotes

Maestro Cadenza Ha ha! Such sweet music! Stand back!

Clothilde Silence that harpsichord!

Maestro Cadenza Wha--uh-oh...

Madame de Garderobe MAESTRO?

Maestro Cadenza DARLING! AT LAST!

Madame de Garderobe I'm coming, my love! This is it: the FAT LADY IS SINGING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Maestro Cadenza BRAVISSIMA!

Vernon Nice dog, huh, Doc? He's perfect for the animal experiment.

Dr. Varnick Get everything ready. I'll be by in the morning. We'll do the test on him first thing.

Harvey Sure thing.

Harvey Okay, good doggie. Good doggie. OK, close the door. Close the door.

Vernon I've got him. Come on!

Harvey Good doggie. Come here, doggie. Come on!

Harvey Okay, I got him. Good, good. I got him. Come on, doggie.

Vernon Not you! Not you! The dog!

Vernon Put him in. Okay, you got him? In the cage. Get in.

Vernon SHUT UP!! There. Doc will work on him first thing in the morning, and then he's one dead puppy.

Nikki What the hell is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch out.

Sean And what did she ever do to you?

Nikki She said I looked like a drag queen!

Sean Well, that can't be the first time that's happened before.

Joshua Joyce We can make you now. Don’t you get it? We don’t need you anymore.

Nigel Yes, because that's really what this whole multibillion-dollar industry is all about, isn't it? Inner beauty.

Arthur Herk Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes.

Michael Sullivan I'd like to work for you.

Frank Nitti Well... that's very interesting.

Michael Sullivan And in return, I'd like you to turn a blind eye to... what I have to do.

Frank Nitti And what is that?

Michael Sullivan Kill the man who murdered my family.

Eric Dale I run Risk Management. I don't really see how that's a natural place to start cutting jobs.

Adolf Eichmann Well, I lived among them, I worked among them, and I picked up a few words; Jewish, Yiddish, not enough to speak. So I went in search of a rabbi. Rabbi means "teacher", I came to find out. Look, may I tell you the Lord's honest truth? So many of our highest-ranking officers, whose responsibility it is to deal with the Israelites, they make no attempt to get inside the Jewish head. I went to visit this rabbi - old man, long beard - in his one-room flat. And when he saw me, his eyes grew as large as hen's eggs. I asked him to teach me his language, and he agreed. He said that he would, but that he would charge me, of course. I applied to my commander for funds, and I was denied; now, I've run into this opposition all my life, so I paid my own money. Very little, not much. And he taught me some vocabulary, letters of the alphabet. But looking back, I realize it was poor judgment on my part, because I could have so easily had the old man arrested, put into prison, and demanded lessons from him, in his cell, free of charge. One day, he had gone out, and was rounded up and shipped off, because he had gone out unadvisedly. And I thought, that's so stupid... why are they so stupid? Didn't he know that I would have protected him? At least until my lessons were complete.

Sean So, is Ali short for anything?

Ali Oh, yeah, it's short for Alice.

Sean Alice, hm? Well, welcome to Wonderland.

Caesar Flickerman So Peeta, tell me. Is there a special girl back home?

Peeta Mellark No. No, not really.

Flickerman No? I don't believe it for a second, look at that face! Handsome man like you! Peeta. Tell me.

Peeta Well, there, uh... There is this one girl that I've had a crush on forever. But I don’t think she actually recognised me until the Reaping.

Flickerman Well, I'll tell you what, Peeta. You go out there, and you win this thing, and when you get home- she'll have to go out with you! Right folks?

Peeta Thanks, but I, uh- I don't think winning's gonna help me at all.

Flickerman And why not?

Peeta Because she came here with me.

Flickerman Well, that's bad luck.

Peeta Yeah, it is.

Flickerman And I wish you all the best of luck.

Peeta Thank you.

Flickerman Peeta Mellark! District 12!

Andrea She hates me, Nigel.

Nigel And that's my problem because... Oh, wait. No, it's not my problem.

Andrea I don't know what else I can do because if I do something right, it's unacknowledged. She doesn't even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious.

Nigel So quit.

Andrea What?

Nigel Quit.

Andrea Quit?

Nigel I can get another girl to take your job in five minutes... one who really wants it.

Andrea No, I don't want to quit. That's not fair. But, I, you know, I'm just saying that I would just like a little credit... for the fact that I'm killing myself trying.

Nigel Andy, be serious. You are not trying. You are whining. What is it that you want me to say to you, huh? Do you want me to say, "Poor you. Miranda's picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy"? Hmm? Wake up, six. She's just doing her job. Don't you know that you are working at the place that published some of the greatest artists of the century? ], ], de la Renta. And what they did, what they created was greater than art because you live your life in it. Well, not you, obviously, but some people. You think this is just a magazine, hmm? This is not just a magazine. This is a shining beacon of hope for... oh, I don't know... let's say a young boy growing up in ] with six brothers pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight. You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls. And what's worse, you don't care. Because this place, where so many people would die to work you only deign to work. And you want to know why she doesn't kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star on your homework at the end of the day. Wake up, sweetheart.

Arthur Herk Good, now you and your shithead kid can get the hell out of here, and never come back.

Eliot Arnold Thanks for everything.

KAY (to ]) Your magician ] cannot help us. We’re outnumbered 100 to 1. How are we going to get out of this?

KING ARTHUR He promised a weapon: one of great ].

PALOMEDES Arthur, you are my king, and I would lay down my ] for you; but this Merlin is no wizard.

KAY He’s a worthless drunkard.

NARRATOR ] does exist. It was found, long ago, inside a crashed alien ship.

MERLIN Hello? Hello! It is I, Merlin! Conjurer of spirits! Master of the magic arts! Is anyone there? (takes a drink from a flask at his belt) It is I, Merlin. The wizard! Remember me?

MERLIN No! I kept your ]! Just as I promised! I told no one of your existence; no one! But you have to understand: we Britons are in a desperate fight. End-of-times sort of thing. I mean it. It’s happening down there now, as we speak. It’s awful! Big personalities just sort of clashing, all bloody. I hate to ask, but we need your help. But if I could, for one moment, change this world for the better, I would give up everything; everything! ], drink;–– drinking-money. Look: good men will die without your help. Women. Children. I know your world was destroyed. I’m sorry. But please, don’t let ours die, too. I beg of you.

RED GIANT Guardian Knights: transform! The ] is yours to command.

MERLIN O, yes. That would be just the thing. (accepts the staff)

RED GIANT Protect this staff. One day a great ] will come for it.

KING ARTHUR Charge!

NARRATOR Without ], there can be no ].

Eric Dale Do you know I built a bridge once? ... I was an engineer by trade... It went from Dilles Bottom, Ohio to Moundsville, West Virginia. It spanned nine hundred and twelve feet above the Ohio River. Twelve thousand people used this thing a day. And it cut out thirty-five miles of driving each way between Wheeling and New Martinsville. That's a combined 847,000 miles of driving a day. Or 25,410,000 miles a month. And 304,920,000 miles a year. Saved. Now I completed that project in 1986, that's twenty-two years ago. So over the life of that one bridge, that's 6,708,240,000 miles that haven't had to be driven. At, what, let's say fifty miles an hour. So that's, what, 134,165,800 hours, or 559,020 days. So that one little bridge has saved the people of those communities a combined 1,531 years of their lives not wasted in a fucking car. One thousand five hundred and thirty-one years.

Joshua Joyce I modeled Galvatron after Optimus Prime. Why does he keep looking like Megatron?! Simple coding. ALGORITHMS! MATH! WHY CAN'T WE MAKE WHAT WE WANNA MAKE, THE WAY WE WANNA MAKE IT?! WHY?!

Caesar Flickerman That was really something. Katniss, that was something. That was something. Thank you for that. I have one more question for you. It's about your sister. We were all very moved, I think, when you volunteered at the Reaping. Did she come and say goodbye to you?

Katniss Everdeen Yes. She did.

Flickerman And what did you say to her, in the end?

Katniss Everdeen I told her I would try to win. That I would try to win, for her.

Flickerman Of course you did. And try you will. Ladies and gentlemen, from District 12, Katniss Everdeen, The Girl On Fire!

Joshua Joyce Let’s show these alien terrorists what an upgrade looks like.

Harvey I really don't like it when you tease the dogs.

Vernon What are you, some kind of animal lover?

Col. Robert Iverson People. Doctors Zimsky and Keyes? You guys are our resident geophysicists, so what do you make of this?

Dr. Conrad Zimsky The mantle is a chemical hodgepodge of, a, variety of elements...

Dr. Ed Braz Brazzelton Say it with me: "I don't know.

Dill Is everything alright? It sounds like you're having sex in here...Which can't be true due to the fact that you have a homosexual boyfriend.

Olive He's not my boyfriend!

Dill Hey, no judgment. All God's children. It's fine. I was gay once...for a while. No big deal. We all do it. It's okay.

Olive Dad, can you just shut the door, please?

Dill You all right, buddy?

Olive Yeah.

Dill Give them hell.

Arthur Herk Make her stop! God in heaven, make her stop! SHE WANTS MY SOUL!!!

Nigel Well, look what TJ Maxx dragged in.

Olive Guys, I want you to know that if you hear around town that I have chlamydia, that is totally false.

Rosemary Olive, do we need to have the talk again?

Olive No. It's just a thing that's going around.

Dill You know, nothing you're saying is making me feel any better.

Rosemary Not to mention how you have been dressing these past few days. No judgment, but you kind of look like a stripper.

Olive Mom!

Dill A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes, but a stripper nonetheless.

Olive Oh, my God. I'm just trying to mix it up a little. And I have no STDs, I promise you.

Dill Oh, that's great. Daughter of the Year.

Puck If we shadows have offended,Think but this, and all is mended,That you have but slumber'd here.While these visions did appear.And this weak and idle theme,No more yielding but a dream,Gentles, do not reprehend:If you pardon we will mend.Else the Puck a liar call.Give me your hands, if we be friends,And Robin shall restore amends.

Bellini If we liberals are not united, Tedesco will become Pope. You have no idea how bad it became, Thomas. The way he and his circle attacked the Holy Father towards the end - the smears, the leaks to the press - it was savage. He fought him every single day of his pontificate, and now that he's dead, he wants to destroy his life's work. If Tedesco becomes Pope, he will undo sixty years of progress.

Lawrence You talk as if you are the only alternative, but Adeyemi has the wind behind him.

Bellini Adeyemi? Adeyemi, the man who believes that homosexuals should be sent to prison in this world and Hell in the next? Adeyemi's not the answer to anything, and you know it. If you want to defeat...

Lawrence Defeat? This is a conclave, Aldo. It's not a war.

Bellini It is a war. And you have to commit to a side.

Jenny Herk Good thing you ran away, Arthur, you might have gotten wet.

Arthur Herk Shut up!

Officer Monica Romero Easy...

Arthur Herk Don't tell me easy, this is my goddamn house!

Officer Monica Romero And these are my handcuffs, and if you don't take it easy, you'll be wearing my handcuffs in your goddamn house.

Adolf Eichmann This meeting is not taking place. You are to take no further phone calls from anyone - at all - unless ] calls. And he won't.

Caesar Flickerman We have seen a lot of tears here tonight. But I see no tears in Johanna's eyes. Johanna, you are angry. Tell me why.

Johanna Mason Yeah, well, yes! I am angry. You know, I'm getting totally screwed over here. The deal was that if I won the Hunger Games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But now, you wanna kill me again. But you know what? Fuck that! Fuck everybody who had anything to do with it!

Caesar Flickerman All right, then. One woman's opinion.

Arthur Herk I need a missile.

Bellini I could never become Pope on those circumstances. A stolen document, the smearing of a brother cardinal. I'd be the ] of Popes.

Lawrence Then stay clear of this; leave it to me. I'm willing to handle the consequences.

Bellini You know who's gonna benefit most from this? Tedesco. The whole basis of his candidacy is that the Holy Father led the church to disaster by his attempts at reform. If you reveal this report, it isn't Tremblay's reputation that's going to suffer; it's the Church's. Accusing the Curia of institutional corruption...

Lawrence I thought we were here to serve God, not the Curia.

Bellini Oh, don't be naive!

Connor Rooney I can look after myself.

Frank Nitti No, you can't! This is the point. You're a big baby who doesn't know his thumb from his dick!

Joshua Joyce I can’t… This is really happening. A man, me, who is worth over 20 billion dollars is now being chased by CIA assassins. That’s the truth. And in the middle of a robot uprising. And I’m carrying what is, in essence, a tactical nuke. And the great thing is I… The great thing is that I’m… I’m barely feeling any jet lag.

Arthur Herk I'll tell you who did it. It's probably some goddamn kids. Cause these goddamn kids today, they all got goddamn guns, and they're all sniffing glue!

Officer Monica Romero Any additional insights, Mr. Herk? Any information can help us to protect you.

Arthur Herk I seriously doubt that you or any other member of the police force in this town could protect their own dicks with both hands.

Officer Monica Romero Thank you for that observation. I'm not gonna arrest you, Matt, unless Mrs. Herk wants to press charges.

Anna Herk Hey... kids.

Arthur Herk I want to press charges! Cuff him!

Officer Monica Romero My hands are kind of full right now, what with holding my dick and all.

Mike Rezendes Mitch, are you telling me that the Catholic Church removed legal documents from that courthouse?

Mitchell Garabedian Look, I'm not crazy, I'm not paranoid. I'm experienced. Check the docket. You'll see. They control everything.

Adolf Eichmann Now, last summer ] asked me to visit a camp up in Upper Silesia, called ], which is very well isolated, and close to significant rail access. And we are turning that camp into a major center, solid structures, and here's where your Jewish labor comes into play, Herr Neumann: the Jews haul the bricks and they build the buildings themselves. And when the structures are complete, we expect to be able to process 2500... an hour. Not a day, an hour.

Puck Up and down, up and down,I will lead them up and down.I am feared in field and town.Goblin lead them up and down.

Arthur Herk Morning, douchebag.

Mitchell Garabedian This city, these people... making the rest of us feel like we don't belong. But they're no better than us. Look at how they treat their children. Mark my words, Mr. Rezendes. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one.

Airport Janitor Viktor. Remember us.

Cashier at Discovery From the Discovery Store, I want to give you this. It's good luck.

Manager at DutyFree A digital camera for cousin Katia.

Manager at DutyFree I don't know where you're going, but these will keep your feet warm.

Frank Dixon - Everybody in position?

Grand Crew - We're here.

Frank Dixon Secure the door.