Terry Crews Quotes

Latrell Spencer How did you know? I love this song!

President Camacho Shit. I know shit's bad right now. With all that starving bullshit. And the dust storms. And we're running out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

Hale Caesar Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Latrell Spencer Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?

President Camacho So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. Looks like a peanut!

President Camacho Come on, scro! Don't be a pussy! Besides, you do a kick-ass job and you get a full pardon.

Latrell Spencer Easy white chocolate, I wouldn't want you to melt.

Tool All right, baby, all right. Come on! Let's see what you got!

Hale Caesar Oh! Oh!

Tool There's my boy!

Hale Oh! Go... go... go south!

Barney Ross So, you're back from the dead. How are you healin'?

Gunnar Jensen Good... considering you could have killed me.

Yin Yang I forgive you.

Gunnar Okay.

Yin I would've won.

Gunnar Of course.

Toll Road Hey, Gunnar, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, brother: therapy.

Barney The man's got a point.

Lee Christmas You know what? I'm gonna do you a favor, Tool. I once knew a man called Tool...

Barney I love poetry.

Lee To me, he was the epitome of cool. He was good with a knife... bad with the wife.

Barney That hurt.

Lee To think he could beat me, dreamin he'd defeat me, Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool! Oh yeah!

Gunner Jensen She's into me.

Hale Caesar She hates you.

Gunner Jensen Watch this.

Lee Christmas You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?

Barney Ross I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.

Lee Christmas Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.

Barney Ross Really?

Lee Christmas Yeah.

Barney Ross Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?

Lee Christmas You know, I will stab you one day. Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about?

Barney Ross Hopeless.

Maggie Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.

Bill The Kid Timmons Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was ], ].

Maggie Didn't like it anymore?

Bill The Kid Timmons Uhh... long story.

Bill The Kid Timmons All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 ] opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am.

President Camacho Shut up. Sit your monkey ass down. Chill out.

Latrell Spencer White meat only.

Latrell Spencer Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.

Latrell Spencer She don't know it yet... oh, but that's wifey right there.

Latrell Spencer Once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair.

Barney Ross Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.

Lee Christmas Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?

Barney Ross She cheated on you.

Lee Christmas It was a half-cheat.

Barney Ross Which is?

Lee Christmas The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.

Barney Ross Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas I should stab you in the heart.

Barney Ross Too late.

Lee Christmas You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.

Lacy Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?

Barney Ross Cross my heart.

Lee Christmas If he had one.

Hale Caesar Look whose lost in space.

Gunnar Jensen Got a pen?

Lee Christmas Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?

Barney Ross Matter of fact, I don't.

Gunnar Jensen ]'s ], only I made it better.

Trench I need a weapon. Something big. Yours.

Hale Caesar Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin right where it is.

Barney Ross Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.

Hale Caesar If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench In your dreams.

Latrell Spencer Tongue's kinda big.

Pilar Who you are?

Barney Ross ].

Lee Christmas Since when?

Gunner Jensen Swedish.

Hale Caesar Blackfoot.

Maggie Chinese.

Toll Road Retards.

Barney Ross You done?

President Camacho Now I understand everyone's shit is emotional right now.

Inmate Hey, yo, check out this fake Slim Shady, man.

Cheeseburger Eddy I knew you couldn't resist my shit. I got the shakes that will make you quake, I got the fries that will cross your eyes, I got the burgers that will... I just got burgers.

Paul Crewe I'm all right. Thank you. Just wanted to talk to you fellas about possibly joining the football team.

Deacon The only game we'd play with you is "Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch.

Cheeseburger Eddy Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch Baby-back bitch.

Caretaker That's a big-ass robot.

Paul Yeah.