Terry CrewsQuotes

Tool: [in a knife throwing contest with Lee Christmas; Lee throws knife near the center of the board] All right, baby, all right. Come on! Let's see what you got!

Hale Caesar: Oh! Oh!

Tool: [throws knife closer to the center] There's my boy!

Hale: Oh! Go... go... go south!

Barney Ross: [to Gunnar Jensen, who he earlier shot] So, you're back from the dead. How are you healin'?

Gunnar Jensen: [recovering from a gunshot wound three inches away from the heart] Good... considering you could have killed me.

Yin Yang: [referring to Gunnar's earlier attempt to kill him] I forgive you.

Gunnar: Okay.

Yin: [referring to their fight] I would've won.

Gunnar: [giving a thumbs and winking at Yin] Of course.

Toll Road: [who sees a therapist; Gunnar nods his head] Hey, Gunnar, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, brother: therapy.

Barney: The man's got a point.

Lee Christmas: [stops before throwing a knife and laughs; reciting a [[w:Limerick (poetry)|limerick] You know what? I'm gonna do you a favor, Tool. I once knew a man called Tool...

Barney: [Hale makes a confused face] I love poetry.

Lee: [Toll Road laughs; Yin and Toll laugh] To me, he was the epitome of cool. He was good with a knife... bad with the wife.

Barney: That hurt.

Lee: [speaking the film's final lines; the team shows a confused reaction; now standing in the street, shocks the Expendables by throwing a bull's eye] To think he could beat me, dreamin he'd defeat me, Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool! Oh yeah!

President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit is emotional right now.

President Camacho: Come on, scro! Don't be a pussy! Besides, you do a kick-ass job and you get a full pardon.

President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now. With all that starving bullshit. And the dust storms. And we're running out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

President Camacho: Shut up. Sit your monkey ass down. Chill out.

President Camacho: So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. Looks like a peanut!

Trench: [''Eyeing Caesar's gun''] I need a weapon. Something big. Yours.

Hale Caesar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin right where it is.

Barney Ross: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.

Hale Caesar: [''Reluctantly hands over his gun''] If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench: In your dreams.

Pilar: Who you are?

Barney Ross: [[w:American people|We're Americans] ].

Lee Christmas: Since when?

Gunner Jensen: Swedish.

Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.

Maggie: Chinese.

Toll Road: Retards.

Barney Ross: [''To Toll Road''] You done?

Gunner Jensen: She's into me.

Hale Caesar: She hates you.

Gunner Jensen: [''Feigns coughing and Maggie just stares at him unimpressed and Hale makes a throat slashing gesture with a razor blade''] Watch this.

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''] You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?

Barney Ross: I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.

Lee Christmas: Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.

Barney Ross: Really?

Lee Christmas: Yeah.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's phone rings''] Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''; ''To Lacy''; ''Makes thumbs-down gesture to Barney''] You know, I will stab you one day. Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about?

Barney Ross: [''Scoffs''] Hopeless.

Maggie: [''To Bill''] Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Afghanistan|Afghanistan; [w:Kunar Province|Kunar Province] Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was ], ].

Maggie: Didn't like it anymore?

Bill The Kid Timmons: Uhh... long story.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Taliban|Taliban; ''Maggie looks down and back heartfelt''] All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 ] opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am.

Barney Ross: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.

Lee Christmas: Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?

Barney Ross: She cheated on you.

Lee Christmas: It was a half-cheat.

Barney Ross: Which is?

Lee Christmas: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.

Barney Ross: Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas: I should stab you in the heart.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's wife comes over''] Too late.

Lee Christmas: You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.

Lacy: [''To Barney''] Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?

Barney Ross: [''Gets up to sit at a table with other colleagues''] Cross my heart.

Lee Christmas: If he had one.

Hale Caesar: [''Referring to Barney''] Look whose lost in space.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Barney takes out elaborately decorated pen''] Got a pen?

Lee Christmas: Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?

Barney Ross: Matter of fact, I don't.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Writes out physics equation on napkin and holds it up''; [w:Albert Einstein|Einstein; [w:Special relativity|Theory of Special Relativity; ''Blows nose in napkin''] ]'s ], only I made it better.

Hale Caesar: Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Inmate: Hey, yo, check out this fake Slim Shady, man.

Cheeseburger Eddy: [Crewe shrugs head] I knew you couldn't resist my shit. I got the shakes that will make you quake, I got the fries that will cross your eyes, I got the burgers that will... I just got burgers.

Paul Crewe: I'm all right. Thank you. Just wanted to talk to you fellas about possibly joining the football team.

Deacon: The only game we'd play with you is "Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch.

Cheeseburger Eddy: [makes a robot dance as his friends laugh] Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch Baby-back bitch.

Caretaker: That's a big-ass robot.

Paul: Yeah.

Latrell Spencer: [after A Thousand Miles begins to play] How did you know? I love this song!

Latrell Spencer: [while eating oysters] Tongue's kinda big.

Latrell Spencer: [Marcus/Tiffany sprays him with mace] She don't know it yet... oh, but that's wifey right there.

Latrell Spencer: Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.

Latrell Spencer: Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?

Latrell Spencer: Easy white chocolate, I wouldn't want you to melt.

Latrell Spencer: Once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair.

Latrell Spencer: White meat only.