Bridesmaids (2011) - Quotes

Wedding Tensions and Unexpected Revelations

Lillian: You know what? This is supposed to be about my time. You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding, thank you very much.

Annie: Okay, well, thank YOU very much. It's all her fault! It is not mine! And you would know that if you got your beautiful haired head out of your asshole. In fact, out of HER asshole. Which I'm sure is perfectly bleached!

Lillian: You know what? IT IS! And you know how I know? Because I went to the fucking salon with her! And I got MY asshole bleached too!! And I LOVE my new asshole!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conflict Over Paris Plans Among Friends

Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?

Annie's Mom: Annie?

Annie: No, mom. Motherfucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!

Lillian: Annie, calm down...

Annie: No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh, how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?

Becca: [quickly] I'm not.

Megan: I was.

Annie: Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?

Annie's Mom: Annie...

Annie: [storms off] Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that fucking cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that fucking cookie!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conflict Over Perception of Normalcy

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You're weird.

Annie: I'm not weird, okay?

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Yes, you are.

Annie: No, I'm not! And you started it.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: No, you started it! Did you forget to take your Xanax this morning?

Annie: Oh, I feel bad for your parents.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: I feel bad for your face.

Annie: Okay. Well, call me when your boobs come in.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You call me when yours come in.

Annie: What do you have, four boyfriends?

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Exactly.

Annie: Okay. Yeah, have fun having a baby at your prom.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You look like an old mop.

Annie: You know, you're not as popular as you think you are.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: I am very popular.

Annie: [sticks tongue in cheek and mimics fellatio] Oh, I'm sure you are...very...popular.

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Well, you're an old, single loser who's never going to have any friends.

Annie: You're a little cunt!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Family Dynamics and Snack Bar Plans

Helen: Oh, Annie, these are my kids.

Girl: Step kids. Step.

Helen: [laughing] They are so hilarious! Excuse me, my husband's kids. What are you guys up to?

Girl: Going to the snack bar.

Helen: Awesome. You need a ride home later?

Boy: [walks off] Fuck off, Helen.

Helen: [turns to Annie] Okay. Put a quarter in the swear jar. Good to see ya. So cute.

Annie: [nodding] Sweet kids.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Misunderstanding Leads to a Personal Revelation

Annie: You read my diary?

Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Misunderstandings in a High-Pressure Situation

Flight Attendant Steve: You have 3 seconds to get back to your seat.

Annie: No one can get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a loss already.

Annie: Whatever you say, Stove.

Flight Attendant Steve: It's Steve.

Annie: Stove? What kind of a name is that?

Flight Attendant Steve: That's not a name. My name is Steve.

Annie: Are you an appliance?

Flight Attendant Steve: No, I am a man, and my name is Steve.

Annie: You're a flight attendant.

Flight Attendant Steve: That is absolutely accurate. You can close that.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Misunderstanding on the Airplane

Flight Attendant: Miss?!

Annie: Um, no...it's not me.

Flight Attendant: Yes, it is you. Please go back to your seat.

Annie: Yes, I'm with him. I'm, uh...I'm Mrs. Igles...I'm Mrs. Iglesias.

Flight Attendant: Uh, no you're not. You were just out here and you put sunglasses on. Out.

Annie: But I don't want to...

Helen: Sir, she can have my seat, okay? Everyone should experience first class at least once in their lives, and Annie shouldn't miss out just because she can't afford it.

Flight Attendant: No, ma'am. I'm afraid that's not allowed.

Annie: Help me, I'm poor.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bachelorette Party Ideas from Friends

Rita: What are we doing for the bachelorette party?

Becca: What about like, a princess theme?

Helen: Versace meets the Gold Rush.

Rita: I'm thinking tanned gentlemen that swallow fire and wear sarongs.

Megan: Female fight club. We grease up - surprise! Beat the crap out of her.

Rita: I don't hate it--

Helen: Vegas it is.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Reconnecting with Old Friends and Family

Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.

Annie: Rita!

Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.

Lillian: She has three kids now.

Rita: Three boys.

Lillian: They're so cute.

Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?

Annie: I do, yeah.

Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in HALF.