20 quotes
Feeling Lost in a Confusing Situation
Emily
Is this some kind of a skit? Because I'm lost.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journey to Rediscover Masculinity
Jacob
I'm going to help you find your manhood. Do you have any idea where you might have lost it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complexity of Love in Marriage
Cal
I have loved her even when I hated her... only married couples'll understand that one...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Unhappiness and Materialism
Jacob
I'm wildly unhappy, and I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret and the Fight for Love
Cal
I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Jealousy Motivates Relationship Dynamics
Kate
What do you want to do with me?
Cal
I want to show you off to my ex-wife and make her really jealous!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Identity Confusion Between Friends
Jacob
Are you ]?
[looking at Cal's shoes; [Steve Jobs]
Cal
What?
Jacob
Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?
Cal
No.
Jacob
Oh, OK. In that case, you've got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Love and Relationships in Assholes
Robbie
You wanna talk about ], Ms. Tafferty? All right. Well, the A they're both wearing - I think it stands for "asshole." Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bunch of assholes who fell in love, like assholes, then had to die, like assholes. I'm sorry about all the "assholes.
[[The Scarlet Letter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The War Between the Sexes Is Over
Jacob
The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Attraction Revisited in Unexpected Encounter
Hannah
Do you remember me?
[after kissing him passionately]
Jacob
Yeah.
Hannah
Do you still find me attractive?
Jacob
Yes.
Hannah
Do you still want to take me home?
Jacob
Yeah.
Hannah
Let's go.
Hannah
I'm here to bang the hot guy who hit on me at the bar.
Jacob
Jacob.
Hannah
Jacob! Sorry, Jacob...
Jacob
Do people still say "bang"?
Hannah
I do. And we're gonna bang!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
TV Time and Uninvited Company
Molly
Um, I'm gonna go watch TV now.
Cal
Yeah, that's fine honey, why don't you go do that.
Jacob
Yeah, can i come?
Molly
No.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the Essence of Love
Taglines
This Is Love
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perseverance in Love and Relationships
Cal
I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Surprises in Physical Appearance
Hannah
Will you take off your shirt... fuck! Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped!
[to Jacob]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Love from a Young Perspective
Robbie
If you love her, then go get her back.
Cal
Wow, how old are you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Unexpected in Life
Taglines
This Is Crazy
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicting Desires in a Relationship Moment
Cal
How about we say what we want on three? One, two, three.
Emily
I want a divorce.
Cal
Creme brulee.
[at the same time]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange About Aging Appearance
Jacob
The skin under your eyes is starting to look like ]'s ball sack.
[[w:Hugh Hefner|Hugh Hefner]
Cal
Yes, it is.
[carefully looks at himself in the mirror and sighs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Absurdity of Life
Taglines
This Is Stupid
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Relationships and Experiences
Jacob
Let's talk about how many women you've been with.
Cal
Sexually?
Jacob
Yeah, no, I mean break-dance fighting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.