Disturbing Behavior (1998) - Quotes

Dorian: Evening, Officer!

Officer Cox: What are you doing?

Dorian: Oh, I'm getting rid of rats! The pink-eyed vermin can't see for spit!

Rachel: Just tell me you have a really razor plan?

Steve: I am making this shit up as I go.

Chug: Will you go out with me?

Rachel: [laughs; seriously] You're kidding, right? No, Chug, I won't.

Chug: WHY NOT?!

Gavin: Look at this place: the Yogurt Shoppe... the Yogurt "Shop-e". What the fuck is a "Shop-e"?

Randi: Why don't you make like a tree and leave?

Gavin: Clever girl.

Dickie Atkinson the Mechanic: You had friends in Chicago?

Steve: [awkwardly] Yeah.

Lorna: You can have friends here.

Gavin: Mr. Newberry here has got the full-on Boo Radley, village idiot, Quasimoto thing going, don't you Mr. Newb?

Dorian: What?

Gavin: And he's currently involved in a war against the rodent population of Cradle Bay.

Gavin: No, it is not bullshit, and it wasn't steroids!

Rachel: [annoyed] Here we go...

Steve: What?

Rachel: Gavin thinks some sinister force has taken over the Cradle Bay meatheads.

Gavin: No, you know what it is! You know!

Steve: A sinister force?

Rachel: You know, evil. Nowhere to turn, no one to trust, altogether ooky.

Steve: [after seeing Chug in a fight] What was that about?

Rachel: Toxic jock syndrome.

Gavin: Hello Charles, cycle any anabolic goodies lately?

Chug: You're funny, Strick.

Gavin: Thanks, I'm here all week.

Chug: [to Rachel] Anyways Rachel, there's a couple of us guys going to the Yogurt Shoppe later if you wanna come by...

Gavin: [to Steve] The Yogurt Shoppe? Yeah! You wanna make an "active culture" joke here, Stevie Boy, or should I handle this one?

Gavin: Rachel, this is Stevie Boy-good man. Stevie Boy, this is Rachel-Cooks Ridge trash.

Rachel: [disgusted] Bite me.

Steve: Tell me, Shannon, do you get yelled at when you talk about your dead grandfather?

Nathan: Steve...

Steve: Cause around here, people go crazy if you talk about a dead brother.

Gavin: [points to the car enthusiast students; [Lynyrd Skynyrd|Skynyrd; [The Allman Brothers Band|The Allmans; [Bruce Springsteen|Bruce] It's a class system here at CB High, Stevie Boy. Check it out. There, you've got your motor heads, car jocks, all the world's a gasket and a lube job and a pack of Lucky's. Music of choice: Posi-traction overdrive, classic rock, ], ], ]. Drug of choice: Beer, Miller Genuine Draft. Keggers can't be choosers.

UV: Freaks that fix leaks.

Gavin: [points to the nerdy students; [Stephen Hawking] Over here you have your microgeeks... nerds, whiz kids and various other bottom feeders. Music of choice: The sound of an Apple PC booting up. Drug of choice: ]'s "A Brief History of Time"... and a cup of jasmine tea on a Saturday night.

UV: Freaks that go squeak.

Gavin: [points to the hippie students] Over there you have your skaters. Riffin', raging kids and their ramp tramps. Baggy pants, Dickie wools, doing 50-50 grinds... with a gnarly grab finish on a homemade half-pipe in the woods. Music of choice: The whack of a hackysack. Drug of choice: Ecstasy, E-tab, baby; longer lovin through science.

UV: Freaks in sneaks.

Gavin: [points to the Blue Ribbons] Here's where it gets really... nasty. Lorna runs with that group over there, the Blue Ribbons.

Steve: What's that?

Gavin: Community group. Good kids. Have car washes and bake sales and kiss a lot of adult sphincter.

U.V.: Blue Robots.

Gavin: [[Charles Manson|Manson; [Timothy McVeigh|McVeigh; [O.J. Simpson|O.J.] Hear, hear. Those three guys are Cradle Bay's answer to ], ] and ]: Trent Whalen, Andy Effkin, Robby Stewart.

UV: Hey, I bet you didn't know that toast came in three flavors.

Gavin: Music of choice: the hum of perfection, the buzz of ambition. Drug of choice: life, the pursuit of clean living at the expense of all who sniffle at the hem of their gowns.

UV: Freaks so chic.

Gavin: The you've got kids like me and UV here, those who like their metal heavy, their Marlboro's light. Music of choice...

Gavin and UV: [[Metallica#...And Justice for All (1988)|Harvester of sorrow, language of the mad] ].

Gavin: Drug of choice: what have you got?

UV: Freaks all week!

Gavin: That's it. Lesson over. Class dismembered. Welcome to Cradle Bay High, Stevie Boy. Welcome to my nightmare.

Gavin: Hello, Lorna. How are you doing today, my dear?

Lorna: Drop dead.

Gavin: Contact.

Allen Clark: What're you doing, dipshit? Don't worry about the snakes in your garden when you've got spiders in your bed.

Betty Caldicott: Meet the musical little creatures that hide among the flowers.

U.V.: I bet you didn't know toast came in 3 flavors.

U.V.: Denial ain't just a river in Italy, bud!

U.V.: I've got like, two customers left! If this keeps up, I'm going to be the 7-11 guy!

Andy Effkin: [snaps Mary Joe's neck] Slut.

Dr. Caldicott: Science is God!

Lorna Longley: [Blood running down her face] I have to go home. I've got a big physics test tomorrow.

Lorna Longley: Bad wrong, wrong bad, bad wrong, wrong bad.

Lorna Longley: Treat yourself.

Dorian Newberry: I'm getting rid of rats.

Dorian Newberry: You'd be surprised how interesting people become when they think you're really stupid!

Dorian Newberry: [[Kurt Vonnegut] (after throwing Steve out of the boiler room) Wait! You like ]?

Rachel Wagner: Who put the acid in my Spam?

Rachel Wagner: Sounds razor.

Steve Clark: Be the ball.

Steve Clark: [shouts] You signed me up for the program?

Steve Clark: I had no idea the evil was this pervasive.

Gavin Strick: It's not like you think. It's a whole new kind of cool. Everything's beautiful, man.

Gavin Strick: [Blue Ribbons circle around Steve] Ice Ice Baby.

Gavin Strick: [sees Andy Effkin being talked to by police] Andy Effkin toasts with the most.

Gavin Strick: The Yogurt Shoppe, Yogurt Shop-e, what the fuck's a Shop-e?

Gavin Strick: Look at him, he's killing his hard-on.

Gavin Strick: Appropriate sparks are flying, somebody cue the power ballad.