Free Birds (2013) - Quotes

Additional Voices: Jason Finazzo

Additional Voices: Jeff Biancalana

Taglines: The Past Intersect

Taglines: Changing the main course of history

Taglines: The greatest turkey movie of all time.

Taglines: On Nov. 1, hang on to your nuggets

Reggie: Jake, what happened? You were only were gone like a second.

Jake: Actually, I've been gone for years. Have you heard about the turducken?

Chicken: BAWK!

Duck: QUACK!

Reggie: Are you sure you won't stay here with the flock?

Jake: I'm a turkey of action, Reggie.

Reggie: Well, I guess this is good-bye.

Jake: No, Reggie. Good-byes are just hellos, carried across the wind until our paths... intersect once again.

Reggie: That's beautiful… and confusing.

Jake: [the flock, Reggie & Jenny wave good-bye to Jake & STEVE as Jake sits on the seat] Wild, undomesticated turkeys of the past. I'll never forget you.

STEVE: Where would you like to go, Jake?

Jake: [Jake and STEVE leave as Reggie and Jenny watch] Wherever we are needed, STEVE. Wherever we are needed.

Reggie: [to Jenny; romantically kisses her, much to her amazement & her left eye drops] So, this is Turkey Paradise.

Jenny: [sighs in amazement] Wow, you're moving pretty fast for a Pisces. Whatever that is.

STEVE: [zaps into black] Oh my.

Jenny: Where's Reggie?

Reggie: [sighs in remorse as he goes back inside] See you later, STEVE.

STEVE: Goodbye, Reggie.

Future Reggie: Hey. (Hold on right there.)

Future Reggie: [inside the house] Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Wait!

Future Reggie: Snap out of it Reggie, we don't have time for this.

Reggie: [turns to run away with Future Reggie chasing him] Ah!

Future Reggie: [tackles Reggie and gets him up] Hey! I'm breaking like 100 time travel rules, and this might destroy the universe, but I don't have a choice. I've come back from the future to tell you something really important.

Reggie: [brief pause] What is it?

Future Reggie: You're an idiot.

Reggie: Whoa! That's a little harsh. I may not be a genius but...

Future Reggie: Everything you want is back in 1621. Jenny, Jake, a whole flock of friends.

Reggie: Yeah, a flock that I totally messed up. They're better off without me.

Future Reggie 2: [comes out of the bushes] No!

Future Reggie: [jumps in surprise along with Reggie who yelps] Wow!

Future Reggie 2: I've come from even farther in the future to tell you that Jenny and the flock are gonna attack the fort. They don't stand a chance.

Reggie: Oh, no. What do we do?

Future Reggie: We need a plan.

Reggie: [the Sacred Time Knob shines in his wing] Exactly. Whoa. The Sacred Time Knob.

Future Reggie 2: The Sacred Time Knob!

Future Reggie: The Sacred Time Knob:

Reggie: [realizes] Wait.

Future Reggie 2: Yeah?

Reggie: You know what this means?

Future Reggie: What does it mean?

Reggie: [laughs about the Sacred Time Knob] It's so simple. It means... I... need to go find The Great Turkey. I bet he's behind the door that this opens!

STEVE: [Reggie turns around to STEVE in confusion] Oh, come on! You are The Great Turkey.

Reggie: [amazed] I'm The Great Turkey?

Future Reggie 1 and 2: [look at each other happily] You're The Great Turkey.

Reggie: Which means Jake was telling the truth the whole time? Wow, I really am an idiot!

Future Reggie: I hate to say I told you so.

Reggie: [Future Reggie nods in agreement] Wait, if I'm an idiot, then you're an idiot.

Future Reggie 2: No, no, guys, guys, guys, technically, we're all idiots. But we're also all...

All Reggies: The Great Turkey!

Future Reggie: My mind is being literally blown right now!

Future Reggie 3: [comes out of the bushes] Mine, too!

All Reggies: Ah!

Future Reggie 3: I came back to make sure we stop and appreciate just how awesome this is.

Jenny: [Reggie starts to leave out of guilt; Reggie sadly looks back at Jenny] My father loved this flock. And he will always be a part of it. He gave his life to give us ours. So, we will honor him. But right now, we need to do what we must to survive.

Reggie: [sadly] This is all my fault.

Jenny: [Jake realizes Reggie is gone] They have taken our home. They've taken our family. We have only one choice now. We will fight! We will stand and fight! This is our home! No more hiding! We will attack the fort, free our family and make our flock whole once again! Who's with me!?

Ranger: We fight!

Danny: [the flock chants as Jake runs after Reggie, meanwhile Reggie sadly walks through the forest to get to STEVE] We fight, brother!

STEVE: Good morning, Reggie. Why the long face? That is a punch line from a joke.

Reggie: Just take me home.

Jake: Reggie, wait! The flock is in trouble!

Reggie: [angrily] Yup. (They are all in grave danger.) And you know why? Because of us! We didn't save anyone. We made everything worse.

Jake: But, Reggie, the Great Turkey told me—

Reggie: [angrily moves Jake's wings off of him; Jake slumps] There is no Great Turkey! There is no mission. You made it all up in your head. It's all a lie. Now, I'm leaving, alright? Before we mess things up even more! And if you're smart, you'll come with me.

Jake: [close to tears] I can't give up.

Reggie: [turns his back on Jake and enters STEVE sits on the seat] Yeah, if you're smart. Look who I'm talking to.

Chief Broadbeak: GO! Join the others!

Jenny: Not without you!

Chief Broadbeak: [softly] Jenny...

Jenny: Daddy!

Chief Broadbeak: I'll always be with you.

Ranger: I knew he was a coward.

Reggie: Ow! What are you doing?

Jake: Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. We must attack the fort (and free those captured comrades) tonight.

Reggie: Ah! Oh! Ah! Ow! We shouldn't attack anything. (Even the fort. It'll risk the safety of the flock.)

Jake: He told me we must do it together.

Reggie: [sarcastically; Jake turns around to him, feeling insulted] Oh! Give me a break. He? The Great Turkey? Ooh! He's a voice inside your head.

Jake: [Reggie shakes his head in annoyance] How dare you. There is nothing inside my head. The Great Turkey is real. I saw him with my own two eyes.

Reggie: [Jake angrily grabs him in the neck] The more you say that name, the dumber it sounds. I mean--

Jake: The Great Turkey is the greatest turkey that I know and you will never be as great as The Great Turkey who is the greatest... turkey.

Reggie: [chokingly; Jake realizes and lets go of his neck] Okay. (What kind of farm were you from, a murderous one?)

Jake: [flashback] I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't grow up on a nice free-range farm. I grew up in a cold, clinical factory. From the time we were born, we were fattened up on formula. Except for me. My mother kept me hidden from the humans.

Young Jake: Is it time?

Jake's Mom: Yes, sweetie. Now, these eggs are our future, Jake. Take them and run and don't stop until you find a safe place to start a new flock.

Young Jake: Mama, I'm scared.

Jake: I failed. I let down my family, and my flock. I decided I was better off going it alone where I could never hurt anyone again. Then, he arrived. The Great Turkey.

Jake: [sternly; removes the bag from Reggie to see him] Whatever you do, do not make a sound.

Jake: Shh... I'm Jake from the TFF. That's Turkey Freedom Front. You've just been recruited for a top-secret mission.

Reggie: [runs off back to Camp David with Jake watching him; Jake uses his own wing to stop Reggie, flinging him into the air; Jake grabs the TV remote, as Reggie lands on his back; 2 security officers hears this from the distance] Ah! Help! I've been kidnapped by a wild turkey! Security, set tasers to kill! Ah! Oh.

Security Guard: [looks around at the woods with flashlight, as Jake is stealthily hides behind a tree, the security head back inside] What was that?

Jake: [grabs Reggie and pins on a tree] Love your enthusiasm, comrade. But you're running in the wrong direction. Besides, we're already behind schedule.

Reggie: [confused] We're behind schedule?

Jake: [grabs Reggie] We are? Why didn't you say so? Let's move!

Reggie: Look, I think you have me confused with somebody else. I'm not part of any mission.

Jake: Horizon seems clear. Hold on.

Reggie: Hey, wait! That's me! This is the pardoned turkey. Help me!

Jake: A strange rogue turkey. Stay back. I'll take him out.

Reggie: Please don't hurt me.

Jake: I don't know who you are but you're seriously jeopardizing this operation.

Reggie: [brief moment of silence] Are you insane? It's me.

Jake: Is it? Is it really?

Reggie: [; draws a line in the dirt with his sharp toe nail & points at with his feathered finger; Jake slaps him in the face; Jake slaps his face 3 more times] Would you get off me?! You know what? I'm sick of you throwing me around. You see this line? Do not come into my personal- Did you not see the line? Cause I was pretty clear that it's right-

Jake: Snap out of it, Reggie.

Reggie: [shocked & confused] Wait, how do you know my name?

Jake: Because he told me everything about you.

Reggie: He? Who is he?

Jake: [revealing a shiny golden doorknob in his wing to Reggie] The Great Turkey. He appeared in the sky on a bright ball of light with a voice that came from everywhere. He gave me my mission, told me I needed to find you. And then, he gave me... this.

Reggie: A doorknob?

Jake: The Sacred Time Knob.

Reggie: This guy is a lunatic.

Jake: [; Reggie sarcastically unlocks the gate with his feathered finger as Jake kicks the gate open, shoves Reggie in] That secret military base should be right up ahead. The facility should be in here. Just need to figure out how to get past this impenetrable gate. So, this is what it looks like on the inside.

Reggie: [bumps into Jake as he turns around to Reggie] Okay, what's inside this secret base, anyway?

Jake: [thunder and lightning comes out] A time machine.

Reggie: A time machine?

Jake: [thunder and lightning comes out again] A time machine.

Reggie: A time machine.

Jake: [thunder and lightning comes out, but stops as Jake realizes] A time- What? Who told you that?

Reggie: You did, just now.

Jake: Of course, I did. I was testing you.

Reggie: Uhhh...

Jake: [turns to probably break the fourth wall; Reggie leans to Jake] That's our mission. Not even to safe ten turkeys or even a hundred, but all of them. We're going back in time to the First Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. That's right, we're going back in time to the First Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu.

Reggie: Who are you talking to?

Jake: [points at his reflection on a hubcap tire of a military Jeep, Reggie frowns at him] This guy right here. He totally gets it. Look, look, see how he's nodding?

Elder Turkey: [grabs leaf; has corn in his wing; waves his wing at sun] Our world is made of corn. Leafy corn. Corn corn. Fire corn!

Reggie: That's an awesome theory, but I think they actually call that the Sun.

Elder Turkey: [pauses] Out. Out!

Reggie (voice-over): [chuckles; a family is having a Thanksgiving Dinner with a roasted Turkey; unknown to the family, they are being watched by a horrified domestic turkey named Reggie] Holidays, the whole world loves them. That's why there are so many. (Includes, New Years. Halloween.) Christmas. Easter. Hanukkah. The one thing they all have in common... food, like Thanksgiving. That's what it's all about. A time to sit down over the holiday meal. It's everyone's favorite part. Unless of course, you are the meal.

Reggie (voice-over): [Reggie in reality continues to scream in fear] My name is Reggie, by the way. I'm the turkey screaming for his life.

Reggie: [runs back to the farm] Ah! Ah!

Reggie (voice-over): Thanksgiving is a turkey's (number 1) worst nightmare. And trust me, I've tried to warn them.

Reggie: You don't get it! They're fattening us up so they can eat us!

Turkey 1: It's such a beautiful day.

Turkey 2: This is the best day ever!

Turkey 1: Probably the best day of my life.

Turkey 3: Hey, corn!

All Turkeys: CORN!!!

Reggie (voice-over): And every year, they don't listen. I'm not gonna dress it up. Turkeys are dumb.