The Garfield Movie (2024) - Quotes

Garfield: Why are you still here? Oh! I know! You're waiting for the sequel!

Garfield: [voiceover; Soon, He's done making food. Though it doesn’t look appetizing] My medium is cuisine. My colors are flavors. My palette is my palette, if you will. Dinner is served.

Vic: Wow, son! I didn’t know you could cook.

Garfield: [as he tries to pull out a piece; puts out a piece with a saltshaker in it; He gives a piece to Vic, who tries it] Ah, yes. Pasta is my paint and the dinner plate is my canvas. Oh, so that’s where that went.

Vic: [laughs] I had worse.

Jon: [notices Vic eating up] Thank you, Garfield. Uh, is he gonna be coming around for dinner often?

Garfield: Yeah. He's family.

Jon: What? Why do I have a take-out bill for 6,000 drone deliveries?!

Garfield: [sighs] Uh... Well, this is us.

Vic: Right. Your home. I just..

Garfield: I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

Vic: I’m sorry. What are you sorry for?

Garfield: For misjudging you.

Vic: Oh. Well, thanks. Well, I just wanted to apologize to you for…

Garfield: Everything bad that happened to us the last three days?

Vic: [sighs; to Odie] You know, you had your hand in a few bad decisions back there, too, but... Yeah, I’m sorry for dragging you into my world. This is where you belong here. Here with Jon and... what’s your name again? Odor?

Odie: [growls then pants happily before hugging Vic] Huh?!

Vic: So, um, I should go.

Garfield: Yeah, yeah. I mean, unless you want to come in.

Vic: I don’t know. I don’t think that would work. I’m...I’m an outdoor cat.

Garfield: Right. Sure, sure. No, I just...I figured...

Vic: No, no, no, I get it. But you know, I got this thing on the other side of town I gotta go do, so...

Garfield: No, I’m very busy, too. Yeah.

Vic: See you around then?

Garfield: You know where to find me.

Vic: [imitates Otto; He leaves the two alone and Odie barks at Garfield] In the kitchen. Well, take care. And remember, stay out of the pinecone.

Garfield: What? You heard him. It’s for the best.

Odie: [shakes his head] Mm-mm.

Jon: [They shake their heads “no”. Sighs in relief] Oh, you’re back! What is going on? Are you okay? I was so worried! I was gonna add more locks to the door. You know, try to keep you in, but then I thought, well, what if they wanted to be outdoor pets? Do you want to be free range? I really missed you, guys, and I gotta say it’s great to be together again, the whole entire family. You have no idea what the last few days have been like: phone calls and hold times and tears...

Garfield: [Odie grumbles; Odie groans; Odie growls; Odie growls again; groans; He heads out of the house] Don’t give me that. I asked him to stay. He wanted to leave. You heard him. He said he had to... Well, I-I... Fine. I’ll be right back.

Jon Arbuckle: [Odie pats his shoulder] Wait! Wait! What? Am I using trigger words that I’m not aware of?

Garfield: So, you coming in or do we have to bring food up there to you?

Vic: [He comes down, Garfield hugs him in embrace, and they head back to the house] I’ll come to you. I just need to finish something up here.

Garfield: You know, those notches show how much you love me.

Vic: Is that what you think of me?

Garfield: Yep.

Vic: Nah, I was just counting how many slices of lasagna you ate.

Garfield: [voiceover; Marge flashes headlights at the figure, who flashes his flashlight back. Voiceover] It was a dark and foggy night. The air was damp and heavier than a broken pipe. On nights like this, you can’t swing a cat without hitting shady characters making shady deals all over town. Oh, but this night was going to be different. Justice was about to be served with a helping of retribution on the side.

Marge Malone: [She steps out of the truck] Is that the package?

Garfield: [disguised voice] It is.

Marge Malone: [She whistles and Ethel steps out of the truck] Well, we have a deal.

Garfield: [disguised voice] No one will come looking for her?

Marge Malone: Nope. I did what you said. I burned her paperwork, and then shredded it, and burned it some more. It’s like she never existed. Except for the image of her face on millions of dairy products.

Garfield: [disguised voice] This...never happened.

Marge Malone: [She leaves with the cage, revealing Jinx inside it. She growls at Marge] Agreed. Oh, save it, Cat Fancy! I know you planned the milk truck heist and then tried to throw those innocent cats off a train to cover it up. The boys told me everything.

Ethel: [hugs Otto] Otto! You are my day.

Otto: You are my night.

Garfield: So, once I get on the train, I untie Vic and we jump off right as the train gets to the bridge.

Otto: Correct. Chipmunk will be waiting for you.

Otto: [on com] Confirm your status, Chipmunk.

Otto: If you don’t jump right as the train gets to the bridge, you’ll miss the net.

Garfield: Got it. It’s getting close.

Otto: Have you considered throwing a rope over a branch and just swinging onto the passing train instead?

Garfield: You watch too much TV.

Otto: I’ve never watched TV.

Garfield: This way is much better than your rope idea.

Otto: Better than the versatile, reliable rope?

Garfield: Look, I’ve studied the science. I know what I’m doing.

Otto: And you think you can battle these villains on your own?

Garfield: [speaks on com] Oh, yeah. I have a plan. Odie, make the order.

Garfield: [As the train approaches...; The train comes near; Otto lets go of the branch, sending him flying] Now get ready to fling me in the direction of that moving train. Get ready. If I don’t make it back, tell my story. Now!

Otto: [on com] Roadkill, you’re too high! You’re gonna miss it!

Garfield: [on com; He gets kicked off by a billy goat, knocking him out of his suit. Then, he bounces off Otto’s belly] No, no, this is how you do it. It’s called a ricochet approach.

Jinx: [laughs evilly] It won’t be long now! I can’t tell you how excited I am for what’s about to happen next!

Garfield: Dad, I’m here to rescue you!

Vic: No, no, no, no, no, Junior, get out of here!

Garfield: I'm gonna untie you and we're gonna jump off the train!

Vic: NO, JUST LEAVE ME AND GO!

Garfield: I DIDN'T COME THIS FAR JUST TO TURN AROUND! LET ME UNTIE YOU!

Jinx: [She grabs a nearby axe; She swings it down, but Garfield has it cut the rope instead, freeing Vic] You’re ruining everything!

Garfield: [He and Vic carefully walk the side of the train car. As Garfield spots a ladder close by, Jinx summons her henchdogs] Hurry! This way.

Jinx: [groans] You half-wit! Get them!

Garfield: The bridge is coming up! We gotta get to the caboose now!

Vic: What? Why?

Garfield: Just follow my lead!

Roland: Oy, kitty cat. Do you really expect to take on us all by yourself?

Garfield: No. I brought...takeout.

Roland: Huh?

Nolan: Huh?

Garfield: [he throws a salad leaf away] I never understood the purpose of salad until...'...this exact moment.

Garfield: [He and Vic head toward the caboose] Go, go! Now!

Jinx: Get after them!

Garfield: [[w:Tom Cruise|Tom Cruise] Yeah, in case you were wondering, I do my own stunts. Me...and ].

Vic: Junior!

Jinx: [to her hench-dogs] Stop him!

Vic: Now that’s amazing!

Garfield: [his tongue numb] I can’t feel my tongue!

Otto: [on com] Roadkill, are you at the caboose ready to jump?

Garfield: Dad! Dad!

Vic: Jump, Junior! I’ll catch you!

Vic: What do we do now?

Garfield: [He pushes Vic off the train; He falls off but notices his dad flying up] We do this! See you, everyone!

Vic: [flying up] The net’s too tight!

Otto: [on com] Roadkill, the net is too tight!

Garfield: [on com; He bounces off the net and he and his father crash through the caboose] I heard!

Jinx: [Soon, the two dogs hang Garfield and Vic over the side of the train, ready to drop them] Hello again! Welcome back. Now, where were we? No, no, don’t throw them over just yet! I want to find the perfect place for them to make the biggest splat.

Vic: Hey, Junior. Junior, Junior.

Jinx: Get ready! Almost there!

Garfield: Sorry my rescue didn’t work out.

Vic: No, you gave me another chance. That’s all that matters.

Jinx: [gasps] Now! Now! Drop them now! What are you waiting for?!

Roland: [Nolan nods] Their love for one another indicates that despite their current circumstance, they are at peace. Because...they are together.

Jinx: So?

Nolan: If the point of your revenge was to hurt them...It has done the opposite. It’s actually textbook irony!

Roland: [Nolan nods] And we’re no longer comfortable with your plan!

Jinx: [imitates Roland; imitates Nolan] You two are still as weak as you were when I found you sniveling in the pound! "Oooh, no one will adopt us. I never grew into my folds. I hide behind them because I'm socially awkward." "Please! Somebody love me! Even if I can’t sit still for more than 10 seconds and have the attention span of A BLOODY GOLDFISH!!

Roland: [speaks in a Brooklyn accent] We did everything you ever asked of us. I even spoke with this ridiculous accent to make you feel more at home! But no more! I’m New York, loud and proud! I love myself the way I am, and I’m a big, brave boy, baby!

Nolan: [notices a hot air balloon and gasps] I’ve been working on my attention span! Is that a hot air balloon?

Jinx: [growls as her mood necklace turns red, furiously; last words; She pushes her former hench-dogs along with Garfield and Vic off the train. She laughs evilly, only to get knocked off by an overpass] You two are WORTHLESS!!!

Garfield: Might I just say, as someone else with a zaftig figure, you have a beautiful body, sir.

Roland: Oh, dear!

Otto: Rope. Versatile. Reliable.

Garfield: There’s something about your cadence that really throws me, but thank you.

Roland: Tee-hee.

Vic: Tossing me off the train? Did not see that coming.

Garfield: Well, when you live in the wild, you gotta keep your head on a swivel.

Vic: Right.

Garfield: [eats a leaf; then; spits it out] It’s basic Outdoor Cat 101.... And that had bird poop on it!

Otto: Hey, you good, Roadkill?

Garfield: Not quite. There’s one last thing to take care of. Cut to...

Jinx: You know, Vic, you only have yourself to blame for this.

Vic: Right. Look, there’s got to be some way for me to make this right. I mean, I know we can think of something.

Jinx: Oh, there is, and you will.

Garfield: [They see pictures of Vic being scratched out before seeing a negative review on Mamma Leoni’s. Gasps in horrified; Growls in anger; Then, they see drawings of what Jinx plans to do to Vic; gasps; Odie gets out an acorn earpiece. Gasps; Odie groans; puts the acorn piece in his ear] What is this? Half a star for Mamma Leoni’s?! She’s a monster! She’s gonna tie him up.. take him on a train... She’s gonna throw him off the Mile High Bridge! We’re gonna need help. But who can we call? Ugh, you got a waxy buildup. What’s your q-tip routine? You’re right, you’re right. We can deal with this situation later. Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?

Otto: [on com] Get off the line. This acorn call is for emergency use only.

Garfield: [on com; a beat] Otto! Otto, please listen. I wanna make good on our original deal. But.. But I need a favor first. Otto, are you still there or are you taking a dramatic pause?

Otto: [on com; then] I’m listening.

Garfield: [rushes over to his favorite chair; presses the button to put it in recliner mode; turns on the TV to watch Catflix, then rushes over to Pooky and his bed; gets out a pin and puts it on Pooky] That’s right! I’m back, baby! I was just talking about you, wasn’t I? Oh, I’ve missed you, too. Pooky! I have a lot to tell you. You’re never gonna believe it. Crazy stuff happened. I slept outside twice! I know. Oh, and I made you this commemorative pin.

Jon: [offscreen] Dinner time!

Garfield: [kisses Pooky and runs off] Talk later!

Jon: Say when?

Garfield: Never, Jon! Bury me in cheese!

Jon: [timer dings] I have two more in the freezer. Let me know when you want them. I’m gonna go check on dessert.

Garfield: [gets out a fork and a knife] Oh, I apologize in advance. The eating you are about to see will not be pretty. And if you have young children, this would be a good time for them to leave the room.

Odie: Mm-hmm!

Olivia: [voiceover] He’d just sit across the street from his kid’s house in a giant oak tree.

Garfield: [He gets up from his seat and walks away. His stomach growls and tries to steer him back to the table; his stomach growls; He leaves the house and walks to the oak tree, causing a bit of traffic along the way] I know, I know. We’re coming back. I just need to check something out first.

Snickers: [voiceover] He put a notch in the bark. Every time he was there.

Garfield: [He climbs up the tree and looks around for a notch; sighs; He looks up to see one notch followed by tons of notches scratched everywhere on the tree] He left a notch. Yeah, right. He was here. He saw me grow up.

Garfield: [gets off the tree and hugs Odie; Odie scoffs; gasps; As he walks down the street, he causes more traffic] Oh. Ow. Wow. That really stings. I don’t know why I didn’t think it would. Give me a second. Vic loves us! Me first, of course, but then you too, but me a lot. At first. Wait, wait, wait, wait, but if he loves me, us, why would he let me, us, get captured at the dairy? Unless... he wanted us to get captured!

Driver: Hey, watch it!

Garfield: [Odie gets him off the road] Yes! He knew that Jinx wasn’t going to let him off the hook, but if we got caught, we get sent to the pound and Jon would come and get us! Don’t you see, Odie? He was trying to save us!

Driver: [offscreen] Losers!

Garfield: We have to go save my dad.

Jon: [notices they’re gone; He sees the two pets leaving and the volcano erupts, covering the entire kitchen and himself in candy] And here’s your favorite dessert, Mount Candy-toa! Uh, guys? Oh, come on!

Garfield: [heartbroken; sighs; Fade to he's inside a cage in the pound] I can't believe he did that. He ran out and left me...again. I thought he changed, but it was...it was a lie. All of it... How could I have been so stupid?

Maurice: Oh, come on, kid. Don’t beat yourself up. Vic, man. We’ve all been burned by Vic.

Olivia: Oh, yeah, the one thing about Vic you can count on is that you can’t count on him.

Garfield: Tell me about it.

Maurice: Yeah, I tell you about it. Long story short, we all used to run in a pack until we had to kick him off the crew.

Olivia: Like I said, couldn’t count on him.

Garfield: Sounds about right.

Snickers: He’d leave in the middle of the job just to go see his kid.

Maurice: Yeah. He said he wanted to check up on him. Make sure he was doing okay.

Olivia: But get this, he never actually visits. He’d just sit across the street from his kid’s house in a giant oak tree.

Garfield: That never happened.

Olivia: He watched that kid eat and eat...

Cats: ...And eat and eat and eat...

Snickers: He put a notch in the bark. Every time he was there.

Garfield: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah. Sure he did.

Olivia: And he’d go every Sunday night rain or shine. Said that it was his kid’s...

Cats: Family dinner night.

Garfield: [Just then, Odie arrives outside Garfield’s cage] Okay, hate to tell you guys, I guaranteed that never happened. Okay? You all fell for another one of Vic’s lies. We all have ‘cause that’s what he does best. Odie! Odie! How’d you get out? Quick! Pick the lock on my cage!

Jon: [arrives at the pound] Garfield! There you are!

Garfield: Jon! Oh, take me away from all of this! You can’t imagine what I’ve been through!

Female Pound Worker: You want this one, too?

Jon: Uh, yes, I do.

Female Pound Worker: You sure he's yours? He didn't have a tag.

Jon: [shows her the collar and tag on Garfield’s neck] Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, he has a tag.

Garfield: [dumbfounded] I have a collar and a tag? How long have I had those?

Female Pound Worker: OK, I’m just gonna need you to hold…

Jon: [snaps] I WILL NOT HOLD! I AM DONE HOLDING! THE JON WHO WAS ON HOLD IS DEAD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

Jinx: [offscreen; she appears] Welcome back...'...Victor!

Vic: Hey, Jinx. Why you here? I was-I was bringing this to you.

Jinx: Were you? Really?

Vic: Of course it was. That’s what we agreed to, right?

Jinx: Mmm.

Vic: [sighs] So, you and me square now?

Jinx: [chuckles] Not quite. There’s still the matter of those five years I lost because of you?

Vic: What? But I thought this settled that.

Jinx: [laughs evilly] It was never about the milk. It was about you getting caught trying to steal it and being sent to the pound. Like I was. You see, Vic, I needed you to suffer. Like I did.

Vic: Oh. I see. And I’m guessing you have an idea about how that should happen.

Jinx: As a matter of fact, I do.

Garfield: [on com] Okay, Otto, we’re in the loading dock. Where are the keys?

Otto: [on com] They should be hanging on a pegboard on the far wall.

Garfield: What do you mean we have a problem?

Garfield: The pegboard is empty!

Otto: [on com] Empty?

Marge Malone: [She throws them the keys and Garfield tries to get them, but they reel back to her] Now would you look at this? Three misguided stray pets trying to steal a truck of milk. Never a dull moment at this dairy, is there, Margie? You were looking for these, aren’t ya? Oh, here you go then. So, how’s this gonna play out, fellas? The easy way or the hard way? And just so you know, I’m up for either.

Garfield: [He spots a chair and nearby gets an idea] Follow my lead.

Vic: Huh? What?

Marge Malone: [cracks her neck; She chases after Vic and Odie] Who’s next then?

Garfield: [on com] Otto, that security guard has the truck keys!

Otto: [on com] Crazy eyes? Tragic sense of fashion?

Garfield: [on com] Yeah. How did you know?

Otto: [on com; Cut to a flashback showing Marge towing him away from Ethel. Flashback] Marge Malone. Ethel!

Ethel: [flashback] Otto!

Otto: [on com] She’s not just my nemesis. She’s also my… enemy.

Garfield: [on com] Love to hear about it, but right now, what do we do?

Otto: [on com; As he runs off] Get those keys. I’ll create a distraction so you can get out of there.

Marge Malone: [She tries to get Vic and Odie] Come here, you!

Garfield: You see that? That’s indoor cat style!

Marge Malone: No, no, no, no, you’re not getting away. I’ve already called the pound. Your days of thievery end today.

PA Announcer: [via intercom] Attempted Perimeter breach!

Marge Malone: [She looks at the security footage to find Otto trying to open the gates] Otto..!

Vic: [He looks at the button and the milk truck before getting a plan with a regretful look] Junior, sorry about this.

Garfield: [Vic pushes him and Odie onto Marge, making her lose the keys. As Vic grabs the keys, Garfield is shocked; Vic presses the button to close the gate in front of the two and Marge. He then gets to the milk truck and turns back to look at his son with regret; Vic gets inside the milk truck; Vic drives off, leaving him and Odie with Marge] Sorry? For what? Vic?! What are you doing?! Vic! Don’t you go! Vic! Please!

Marge Malone: [on com] Send security to the loading dock.

Ethel: Otto!

Marge Malone: You do not want to try me today, mister!

Marge Malone: Get him!

Tour Guide Tracy: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the one, the only Lactose Farms! If you will all gather around me, we’ll begin our tour and head into the heart of the farm.

Marge Malone: [She carefully watches surveillance footage for any robbers] I know you’re here. I can feel it. Show yourself.

Tour Guide Tracy: Today, you will discover the answers to all of your dairy questions. Including the most-asked dairy question of all time, “Are curds the way?”

Otto: [on com] Bullfrog, Chipmunk, Roadkill, do you copy?

Garfield: Are you kidding me? They actually work? You should take this to Shark Tank.

Otto: [on com] Now remember, the only way to get the keys to the milk truck and free Ethel undetected is by sneaking to the path I’ve mapped out for you. If you deviate from that path, you will trigger security and all bets are off. Understood? Alright, look alive. The electrical answers door should be coming up on your left.

Tour Guide Tracy: [offscreen] Okay, this way.

Vic: [He spots the door to the electrical room] Hey, look! There it is!

Garfield: [on com] Okay, we’re in.

Otto: [on com] Continue through and locate the air vent at the end of the hallway. That will take you to the refrigeration room.

PA Announcer: [via intercom] Factory workers, your 15-minute break begins now.

Garfield: Blech! Ugh, your feet need a deep rinse!

Vic: What’s the hold up, Junior?

Garfield: How did you get through this? You’re bigger than me!

Vic: [his stomach gurgles] Am I?

Garfield: Yes!

Vic: [He and Odie start pulling at Garfield] Well, the vent don’t agree. Try sucking in your gut!

Garfield: I am!

Vic: Try sucking in your butt and your gut!

Otto: [on com] Bullfrog, what’s happening now?

Vic: We fell out of a vent, into a room that looks like it was full of heavy machinery.

Otto: [on com] Son of a cud. You’re in the pinecone.

Marge Malone: [She spots Garfield in the security footage] Jiminy Davis! The perp is a cat, and this one looks like it could eat us out of business!

Garfield: Oh, Vic, Vic! Look! There’s the loading dock!

Vic: Junior! Don’t move!

Garfield: What, why?

Vic: We’re in the middle of the pinecone! Otto told us to stay out of the pinecone!

Garfield: [He tries to walk, but the floor opens beneath his feet, and he falls in] Oh, stop. There’s no pinecone. Otto’s a bit of a worrywart. I can walk to the loading dock from here.

Vic: Junior!

Garfield: [Then, he rises out on top of a big slice of cheddar cheese, eating part of it; Vic stares at Odie, who shrugs. He notices a timer ticking down] Mmm. Oh, cheddar. Probably one of my top 26 favorite cheeses. What do you think happens when that gets to zero?

Otto: [on com] Bullfrog, what’s happening now?

Vic: [on com] Roadkill got carried away to the pinecone!

Otto: [on com] Listen to me. You have to carry on with the mission. Get to the loading dock before the workers return from their break or you’ll miss your only chance to get that truck.

Garfield: [As he rides down the cheddar cheese...; It gets onto a grater slide] No, no, no, ah!

Computer: Shred sequence initiated.

Garfield: [Odie barks to Garfield to jump off the cheddar he’s on; He jumps off and grabs onto another piece of cheese hanging next to Odie.] Odie! Thanks, buddy, but I’m already full from the cheddar. Oh, jump off? Good idea!

Vic: Oh, good. He’s safe.

Garfield: [He spots a sign saying, “FONDUE AREA”; He sees approaching some giant pots of boiling melted cheese; He tries to get away by jumping from cheese block to cheese block] Uh, hang on. Wait, where am I going? Fondue? Oh, no!

Vic: [As the two dodge the knives, Vic jumps to the rescue. He walks across some steamy fondue, bounces off a hot pot, and walks on more fondue. Just as the knives prepare to chop up Garfield and Odie...; He jumps in and saves them as the blades come down. As they pant, Vic holds up his severed tail] Junior! Junior! That was too close even for me.

Garfield: [pants] Thanks.

Vic: I couldn’t let you have all the fun.

PA Announcer: [via intercom] Workers, your break ends in 5 minutes.

Garfield: What are those for?

Otto: For us to communicate. Once you’re inside...the belly of the beast.

Garfield: Uh, okay. Don’t we need something more like radio headsets?

Otto: [sighs] Indoor cat. These are better.

Garfield: [[w:Bluetooth|Bluetooth] I just feel like ] would be better.

Otto: These are better than Bluetooth.

Garfield: These are better than Bluetooth?

Otto: [He and Odie put acorn pieces in their ears. On com] They’re equal, and I don’t have to pay for the brand. Gold Eagle to Chipmunk, do you copy?

Garfield: [Otto snorts and gets out binoculars] Of course you can hear him. He’s standing three feet away from you. Oh, I see you sprung for the binoculars.

Otto: Now, we just need to find… a way in.

Garfield: Anyone ever told you that you take a lot of dramatic pauses when you speak?

Otto: [a beat; He spots some kids exiting a school bus with one having an animal backpack] Yes. Bingo.

Roland: She’s really losing it.

Jinx: [shakes off the tape] Yes, what is it?

Roland: They’re ready to rob the dairy.

Jinx: [Roland gets out a cellphone from his folds; to Nolan; Nolan dials the number and puts on the speaker] Purrrfect! Oh, everything is coming to plan. Now it’s time to make the call. Excuse me, you keep that thing in your folds? That is so disgusting. You, you dial the number and put me on speaker.

Female Phone Operator: [on phone] Hello?

Jinx: [on phone] Hello? Lactose Farms?

Female Phone Operator: [on phone] How may I help you?

Jinx: [on phone] It’s come to my attention that there will be an attempt to rob one of your dairy trucks tomorrow. It’s not important who I am or how I came to know this. Just think of me as a concerned citizen intent on fulfilling my civic responsibility as well as...

Male Phone Operator: Uh, chief? We may have a situation.

Marge Malone: [grabs her nightstick] Well, okay then. Let’s go have a look-see.

Female Phone Operator: This is the third time they called.

Male Phone Operator: It just sounds like a cat crank-calling us.

Marge Malone: [shoves her nightstick at his nose; She gets out her phone, uses the Critter Talk, and selects a cat to translate the meowing] If it were a dog barking, I’d be on board for a prank. Some dogs are born for mischief. They just are. Not cats. Oh, no. Cats mean business.

Jinx: [on phone; hangs up] I repeat, there will be an attempt to rob one of your dairy trucks tomorrow. I suggest you take appropriate measures to prevent this brazen thievery from occurring. Okay, I’m done. Hang up the phone. Ha, ha. What an evil genius I am.

Marge Malone: Well then, still seem like a prank to ya?

Male Phone Operator: Eh, that last part did a little.

Female Phone Operator: What’s our next move, chief?

Marge Malone: [She enters her office and approaches the mirror, to herself; puts on her hat] Our next move is for me to go back to my office and formulate an ingenious plan. And you go get my car waxed. Well, well, well. Would you look at that, Margie Malone? We’re having company tomorrow. I guess I better take out my finest China to serve a heaping plate... of justice!

Garfield: Can’t believe I’m out in the middle of nowhere getting beaten up against my will by a former celebrity steer.

Vic: Odie, can you tell my son to please stop whining?

Garfield: Odie, can you tell Vic that I collapsed on this tree first and that he needs to find another one?

Vic: Odie, can you tell my son that I’ll gladly find another one when I get the feeling back in my leg?

Garfield: Odie, can you tell my father that he wouldn’t be lying in pain if he led a better life and didn’t create problems for himself?

Vic: Could you please inform my son that he should focus on fixing his own issues?

Garfield: [He notices Odie has tied both him and Vic to the tree with vines while they were arguing; Odie harrumphs and walks away] Odie... Odie, what’d you do? After all I’ve let you do for me.

Vic: [He tugs on a vine, springing Garfield's foot up. Garfield moves his foot on the vine, making Vic's hand smack himself] What is this? Hey, watch it!

Garfield: [He snickers. Vic pulls on the vine to make Garfield smack his hand on his own face; He proceeds to tug the vines to make Vic hit himself] What’s the problem, Vic? Is this bothering you?

Vic: [strained; He moves the vines in a boxing motion, making Garfield punch himself] No. In fact, I don't mind it at all!

Garfield: I don't mind it either!

Otto: I could watch this all day.

Garfield: Stop pulling!

Vic: I’m not! You’re pulling!

Garfield: [grunting] If I was pulling, you knew it! Why does everything you do always end up hurting me?

Vic: Hurt you?! All I ever did was try to help you!

Garfield: [as he get hit by a branch; as he get hit by a branch again] Oh, you sure? Cause every time you're around, it ends up with me in pain. Ow! Odie, these ropes are not funny anymore...'...OW!

Vic: Maybe, if you were a little more open to seeing me, things might be better between us.

Garfield: Oh, you do remember you were the one who left me in an alley, right?

Vic: You don't know what you're talking about!

Garfield: [clears throat] Then please enlighten me.

Otto: This is about to get real.

Garfield: Oh, that's right. You're normally never around to actually defend yourself. No back door to slink out of this time. First, you abandoned me! Years later, you pulled me into a life of crime. Well, classic "Father of the Year" stuff, Dad. You know why would I ever think that seeing you could be anything other than a train wreck!?

Vic: [angry] I DID NOT LEAVE YOU IN THAT ALLEY!

Garfield: [bitterly] Oh, you did, you told me you'd come right back. You never did!

Vic: [solemnly] No! That is not what happened.

Garfield: Oh, please! You're probably on the run from someone like Jinx and I was in the way.

Vic: [sighs] No...No, that...that night... That night was different...

Fish Market Worker: Hey! Shoo, shoo! Get out of here!

Vic: [approaches the garbage can, only to be scared off by the worker] Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back.

Food Worker: [Vic waits by as the food worker talks on his phone; on phone; Time passes. It’s raining, but the worker is still on the phone; on phone; chuckles] Hey, get out of here! Hey, how are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Ah, I had to shoo a cat. Yeah, yeah. Digging in the trash. Yeah. So what you up to now, huh? Still taking it easy? Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, no, you're kidding. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's been raining here for a while now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you then. OK, bye.

Garfield: [shocked] I… I never knew.

Vic: I know, how could you?

Garfield: Why didn't you ever come visit me?

Vic: I did. A million times I… came to knock on your door, and I'd see what a great life you've had with Jon, so I just...thought it would be better if I kept my distance.

Otto: [appears before Garfield and Vic; Vic shakes his head] I sense a positive breakthrough in your relationship, am I wrong? Good. After an extensive evaluation, I have concluded that you two are, in fact, ready to move forward with this mission.

Vic: We are?

Garfield: How is that even possible?

Garfield: Huh?

Otto: I have determined it would take roughly...17 years to get you both properly ready for this job. And since we have..less than 48 hours, you passed. Congratulations.

Otto: Alright, gentlemen, I’ve made a list of skills that you’ll need to master in order to break into Lactose Farms. Number one, develop lightning-fast reflexes.

Vic: You tell Garfield there's a plate of pasta on the other side of the wall, and you will see lightning reflexes.

Garfield: Yeah, no, no, no. Depends what kind of possum.

Otto: [holds out a pebble] This pebble represents danger you may encounter. You need to grab it before it grabs you.

Garfield: [scoffs] It grabs me.

Otto: [Garfield tries to grab the pebble, but he moves it away; He whacks Garfield with his horn] Snatch the pebble from my hand. Too slow!

Garfield: Ow! What was that for?!

Otto: Being able to grab the pebble could be the difference between life and death.

Garfield: [grabs the pebble; Otto whacks him again] Alright, let me try that again. Ha! Got it! What was that for?!

Otto: It’s never just about the pebble.

Vic: Come on, Junior. Everyone knows that.

Otto: Your head’s got to be on a swivel at all times.

Vic: You gotta be ready for anything.

Garfield: I was ready! He changed the game!

Vic: [Otto rolls a boulder, and it collides with him, flattening him like a pancake] Sounds like someone’s making excuses.

Garfield: And what was that about being ready for anything?

Vic: [pops back to normal] You were distracting me!

Garfield: Might I suggest putting your head on a swivel?

Otto: [as he hits Garfield and Vic; squishes Garfield and Vic from above] You should've seen that coming! Toes on the line! Watch your grip! Cover your side! There are surprises around every corner at Lactose Farms. You need to stay alert. Too slow! A baby could've seen that coming. Too slow! Too slow! Too slow!

Otto: [He throws tree stumps as Garfield and Vic try to dodge them] You'll never make it through Lactose Farms if you can't survive this training.

Vic: Are you for real?!

Garfield: What kind of dairy is this?!

Otto: [He lifts up a big tree and charges toward them. Garfield and Vic run away] The kind of dairy that requires teamwork to survive. Danger could be anywhere gentlemen. You gotta be ready to outrun it! Here comes the pain!

Vic: Left, right, left, right.

Garfield: You’re confusing me!

Vic: I think I'm gonna need a wring-out.

Otto: [to Odie; sighs] If this is going to work, these two have to be on the same page. I’m out of ideas. You got any?

Automated Voice: [on phone; Jon presses 1; Jon presses 2] Your call is very important to us. If you’ve lost a cat, please press 1. If your cat is orange, please press 2. This doesn’t really accomplish anything but gives you the false sense that we’re engaged with you.

Otto: [He sets a pinecone in the middle of the square] Now pay attention. Here’s the perimeter of the plant and here are the two places you need to go. First, the truck with your milk is back here. And this delicate buttercup is my Ethel. My north star and reason for living is being kept by those barbarians in...the Donald’s hiccups Located here. This cricket represents the electrical room. This snail, the refrigeration room. This toadstool is the loading dock, where you’ll find the keys to the trucks.

Garfield: Hey, what’s the pinecone?

Otto: The pinecone is the cheese and butter room.

Garfield: [As he rubbing his tummy] Ooh, cheese is my love language.

Otto: [points to Vic; A bullfrog appears, croaking] Now, for this briefing, I’ve done a quick reading of your personalities and have chosen tokens to represent each of you. You are the majestic bullfrog.

Vic: Oh, yeah. That feels right.

Otto: [points to Odie; A chipmunk appears. Points to Garfield] You are the curious and clever chipmunk. And you...

Garfield: Wait for it.

Otto: [He sets down a roadkill opossum] ...are roadkill.

Garfield: [laughs; pokes at the possum with a stick] Huh? What? Oh. No, I get it. That’s a good one, Otto. Giving your new best friend roadkill. Seriously though. What’s my real token?

Otto: That is your real token. Now, if you have any chance of...

Garfield: Excuse me. Can I switch to something living like a snail or a cricket?

Otto: You should’ve spoken up sooner. At this point, it would be too confusing to switch.

Garfield: Sooner? But you just told me this five seconds ago.

Vic: Come on, Roadkill. Focus.

Garfield: Oh, really? You give Vic the majestic bullfrog, you give Odie the curious and clever chipmunk, and then you give me, your new BFF, roadkill? I mean, it feels disrespectful, not gonna lie.

Otto: What makes you think he’s dead?

Garfield: My eyes. I have eyes and can see.

Otto: It’s a possum. They’re masters at playing dead.

Garfield: Well, then little Daniel Day Possum here should do Shakespeare in the Park.

Otto: Things aren’t always what they seem.

Garfield: You’re right. But in this case, they are.

Otto: What’s the big deal? Possums play dead.

Garfield: Oh, do they, Otto? Do they play dead? Do possums play possum? Is that what they do?

Otto: Yes. Possums are very clever.

Garfield: Well, I’m sure he was until the day he ate a pick-up truck.

Vic: Uh, just ignore him. Please continue. I’ll just put this back where you had it.

Otto: The straightest line to the loading dock is through the snail here. Then the cricket there. Cut through the toadstool and armed to the rock. Each of these rooms have their own set of unique challenges.

Garfield: Well, why can’t we go straight through the pinecone?

Otto: You don’t want to go through the pinecone.

Garfield: Looks like the straightest shot is through the pinecone.

Otto: You like walking with those feet, do you? You a fan of unimaginable pain and misery? Then go through the pinecone.

Vic: [clicks tongue] Stay away from the pinecone. Got it.

Otto: [Cut to a 2D-animated rundown of the plan as the Mission: Impossible theme plays. Voiceover; Cut back to reality; refers to Odie; refers to Garfield] Once you’re inside the facility... You will enter the electrical room. There you will locate the air vent. Pop the grate and climb up. Then you'll crawl through a maze of vents and drop down to the refrigeration room. Next, you will need to hurl your body over a 30-foot drop to a series of hand rungs. You'll propel yourselves hand over hand and drop down directly into a loading dock. From there, you'll locate the keys to the milk truck. Drive that truck to the west pasture of the complex, cut the lock on the gate, and find the closest thing we have to an angel here on earth. You'll escort my sweet Ethel onto the truck and drive her to freedom. It’s going to take mad skills to get that milk and free my dear sweet Ethel. Clearly, this one’s qualified for the mission. But I have some serious doubts here about all of...this.

Vic: He’s pointing to you, Roadkill.

Otto: Let’s get to work.

Garfield: Stupid roadkill.

Roadkill: [whacks Garfield with the stick; resumes playing dead] Hey! I’m workin’ here!

Garfield: [groans] Definitely a Monday.

Garfield: Quaint. Just a simple little grab-and-go.

Vic: Okay, okay, so they’ve done a few upgrades since I was last here. Stop being so dramatic. All we have to do is climb the fence.

Garfield: Wait. Is that Otto?

Vic: Who?

Garfield: Otto! Of Otto and Ethel?

Vic: Uh, no clue what you’re talking about.

Garfield: [He points to a painting of Otto and Ethel on the barn] He’s one of the mascots of Lactose Farms. See? On the side of the barn? I’ll bet he knows how to get into that place.

Vic: Leave him alone. Seems to be in a period of meditation. Or depression.

Garfield: Yes, he does. Mmm. This calls for cat sensitivity and diplomacy.

Vic: Oh, yeah? And where are we supposed to get that?

Garfield: [He approaches Otto; Otto grunts in response. clear throat] I have it in spades. Watch. Maybe you’ll learn something. Excuse me. You’re Otto, right? I’m Garfield. A pleasure.

Otto: Go away.

Garfield: Just wanted to say I am a huge fan. I have eaten everything that has a picture of your face on it.

Otto: I’m not that guy anymore.

Garfield: I even loved that recalled provolone from a few years back.

Vic: Junior, no!

Garfield: Yeah. Anyways, here’s the thing. Me and my crew back there, we’re in a bit of a bind. Got ourselves in a situation. A long story short, we could use your help.

Otto: [grunts] You’re a fan, huh?

Garfield: Ha ha. Oh yes. Big time.

Otto: Then sing the jingle.

Garfield: Well, I don’t really sing on command. I’m not a circus animal.

Otto: Sing it.

Garfield: [chuckles] Really?

Otto: Sing it!

Garfield: [clears his throat and sings] ♪ Lactose Farms. Lactose Farms. We’ve got milk, butters, creams, and cheeses. ♪

Otto: More spirit!

Garfield: [sings with more spirit] ♪ As much as you want, as much as it pleases... ♪

Otto: Livelier!

Garfield: [sings in livelier and dances; scats while Vic facepalms; Otto punches him to a tree. In pain] ♪ Come and take a look and see what we got! ‘Cause what we got is a whole lotta lot! Ha, ha! Bop chee bop. Bibbidi bop bop chee bop! ♪ ♪ The tasty goodness is our motto brought to you by Ethel and Otto! ♪ What was that for?

Otto: I hate that jingle.

Garfield: [in pain; He falls to the ground] You could’ve just told me to stop.

Farmhand: Let’s go. Kids are waiting.

Garfield: Odie, come back! Leave him alone! He might punch you!

Garfield: [refers to the cow in the farm] Was that Ethel?

Otto: [He grunts, but Odie whines to the steer. He smiles at the dog before telling his story; Cut to a flashback of Otto being put in a wooden box while farmhands are lassoing Ethel, flashback] A few years back, Old Man Lactose was forced out of business. The corporation that took over separated me from my Ethel. Ethel!

Ethel: [flashback] You are my day!

Otto: [flashback; Soon, the bull was sent out to pasture, separated from the love of his life, voiceover; Ethel is seen being harassed by children in the amusement park, voiceover; Cut back to present day] You are my night! I was put out to pasture. She was put on display as part of the tour. I tried to get in there to break Ethel free, but they stopped me every time. Now I only see her six seconds twice a day.

Vic: We...we feel you, Otto. Come on, let’s go, Junior. We’ll find another way to break in there.

Otto: Wha-wha-what could you possibly want from that place?

Vic: Oh, I don’t know. A couple quarts of milk?

Garfield: [Vic nudges him] A couple thousand quarts.

Otto: Good luck.

Vic: We'll take any help when you have.

Otto: Pass.

Vic: I’m telling you, it’s a life-or-death situation.

Otto: And I hope you’ve notified your next of kin.

Vic: What if we can get Ethel out?

Garfield: [Otto quickly returns] Or get you a commemorative pin? Where are we gonna find a commemorative pin?

Vic: [to himself; sighs; He finds Odie pulling twigs and spiked nuts off Garfield’s body] Okay, Vic, you gotta figure this out. Jinx can’t be trusted and you gotta keep Junior safe. Just gotta figure out a way to get him out of this.

Garfield: Tell me. Is it a bird? It really hurts. OW! You pulled my hair! Is it a bug? A bug? OWWW, OWIE, OWIE, OWIE, STOP IT, ODIE! AAHH! Okay.

Vic: [He facepalms but then sees Garfield’s collar and tag. He gets an idea] You know what, Junior? This is gonna be good for you.

Garfield: [pulls a spike nut off his fur] What’ll be good for me?

Vic: What we're doing.

Garfield: [pulls off another] We’re about to steal a truck full of milk from a dairy to pay back a deranged... cat. What part of that is going to be good for me?

Vic: All of it! You can’t even imagine the life lessons you’re gonna learn.

Garfield: Oh, yeah? Name one.

Vic: [Laughs, Garfield is not amused. Clears throat; Garfield pokes his tummy] Well, for starters, you already know how to get on a movin train. I found it funny. All I'm sayin', is that to break into a dairy, it's gonna take a few skills, I'm guessing a rounded, mush-filled, overly pampered indoor cat like you, doesn't have. So, we need to toughen you up.

Garfield: [[w:Olive Garden|Olive Garden] Toughen me up? Hey, I know tough, Vic. You obviously have never been in an ] that’s run out of breadsticks. Anyway, I’m never gonna need those skills you’re talking about.

Vic: But you’ll have them.

Garfield: I'm never gonna break into a dairy, or anything else. Ever again.

Vic: You are missing the point! You're going to learn to improvise. Think on your feet, develop moves that'll come in handy in the real world.

Garfield: I wouldn’t be in the real world if it wasn’t for you!

Vic: True. You’d still be hanging upside down in the mall.

Garfield: You know, I would be asleep at home!

Vic: Missing out on life all together! Look, I’m just a dad trying to teach his son skills.

Garfield: Oh, no, no, no, no. You can't make up for five years of not being around.

Vic: Uh, yes, I can.

Garfield: No, you can’t.

Vic: I think I can.

Garfield: In fact, you can’t.

Vic: Yes, I can!

Garfield: You really can’t!

Vic: With your attitude, I can!

Garfield: [screams in anger; sarcastic; groans in upset] Okay, whatever, “dad!” Wow, great lesson! I’m done talking to you, you don’t know me, and you don’t know the first thing about me. I am not pampered. I am not anything you think I am.

Vic: Okay. Just gonna say that blanket is not the best idea.

Garfield: [He puts the blanket over himself, only to be covered in spiders. screams; Vic picks up him and lifts a bag of cedar chips over him; Then, he opens it, dumping the chips on the spiders. Garfield pops out of the pile, stunned] Ah, fantastic. Thank you. I’ll take it from here. Get them off! Get them off! Get them off me! What are you doing? What’d you do?

Vic: Cedar chips. Spiders hate them. See? Another life skill learned.

Garfield: [stunned] I-I-I...

Vic: I think the words you’re looking for are “Thank you, pops.”

Garfield: No, the word I’m looking for is...

Vic: Oh! Here’s our stop!

Garfield: [Vic kicks him out] Really? Where?

Vic: [laughs; He and Odie jump off the train] Oh, Odie, you think he’d see that coming.

Automated Voice: [on phone] Hello?

Jon: [on phone] Oh, finally! Hello!

Automated Voice: [on phone] You’ve reached Find My Pet. If your pet is lost, we're here to help.

Jon: [on phone] Hi! Yes! Great! OK. Uh, my orange tabby and my dog are both missing, and I need your help.

Automated Voice: [on phone] Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed.

Jon: [on phone] OK.

Automated Voice: [on phone; speaking Spanish] If you'd like to hear this call in Spanish...

Jon: [on phone] What?

Automated Voice: [on phone] For Pig Latin, ess-pray even-say.

Jon: [on phone] Come on.

Automated Voice: [on phone; speaks gibberish] For gibberish...

Jon: [on phone] What do I press to talk to a real person?!

Automated Voice: [on phone; in deep voice; in normal voice] Your call is very important. There are 1,046 people ahead of you.

Jon: What?! Garfield, where are you?!

Vic: Our best shot at jumping on a train is here.

Garfield: Hold on a sec. I’m just taking in the wind speed, the direction of the sun, and various angles. Yes, I say we jump the train from right here.

Vic: Didn’t I just say that?

Garfield: I’ve seen enough television a million times. We’ll need a hundred feet of rope...

Vic: [He sets Garfield on a branch and pulls it back] Uh-huh. Rope. Yeah, okay.

Garfield: We’ll throw the rope over that branch right there.

Vic: Branch. Uh-huh. Got it.

Garfield: [as the train approaches] Can you follow me? Alright. And then, timing it just right, we swing over as the train passes by and land on top of the car. Boom!

Vic: [He lets go of the branch, launching Garfield through an open train car] Or we can do this. Odie! Jump, boy!

Nolan: Part of me wants to help him.

Roland: No. This is how he learns.

Used Catapult Customer: [Garfield lands on the catapult and it launches him away; impressed] I don’t know. It’s kind of pricey. How much does it handle? Whoa! I’ll take it!

Vic: See? I told you this was gonna be fun!

Garfield: [in the manure] You and I have different definitions of “fun.”

Garfield: I can't believe this is happening! I don't see you for years! And when I do, you're pulling me into a life of crime.

Vic: I had this reunion playing differently in my head, too.

Garfield: That's the difference between us, because I never wanted to see you again!

Vic: I totally understand your anger, but give me a chance to explain. You'll see, I'm not the bad guy you think I am.

Garfield: A good guy doesn't leave his kid in an alley!

Vic: It wasn't like that.

Garfield: [angry] IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT!

Vic: No, it wasn't. Let me tell you.

Garfield: [Unfortunately, he is stopped by Roland and Nolan] No, no, I don't want to hear it! This whole thing with Jinx, this is your mess, not mine! Come on, Odie.

Roland: Can’t let you do that.

Nolan: We’ll be watching you.

Roland: Like a hawk.

Garfield: [groans in frustration] Is today a Monday!? ‘Cause it feels an awful lot like a Monday.

Vic: It’s Thursday.

Garfield: Not to me, it’s not!

Vic: [as Garfield growls] Look, I know this isn't ideal, but we have to do this. So, let's just try and make the best of our time together.

Garfield: Our time together?! What are you talking about?! Once we get this milk, I want you out of my life! Forever!

Vic: [laughs] Alright, just relax. Lactose Farms is nothing but a sleepy little mom-and-pop dairy. This will be a quick grab-and-go. You’ll be back home before you know it.

Garfield: [sighs] How do we even get to Lactose Farms? It’s way out in the country.

Vic: You ever jumped a train?

Garfield: I’ve never jumped.

Vic: Well, if jumping the train is too hard, just say it.

Garfield: How hard could it be?

Vic: [laughs as he slaps Garfield to the ground; flexes his arms] Exactly! This is gonna be fun!

Jon: [yawns; notices the refrigerator door left open; spots some food still on the floor when Garfield and Odie were kidnapped by Roland and Nolan; gasps; checks the halls; checks the closet; checks under the couch; checks out the pet door; checks from the chimney; steps out the door] Garfield? Odie? Hello? Garfield, how many times have I told you to close the refrigerator door? Wait. There’s food on the floor. He's never left food on the floor. Garfield? Garfield? Garfield? Garfield? Garfield? Garfield? GARFIELD!!!!

Garfield: [in the bag] What do you guys...What do you want? Money? I don't have any money, okay? Who-who carries cash anymore? I've-- I-I've got Jon's credit card number memorized. 5552-3857-5521. Did you write that down? Expiration code is 555.

Nolan: [Cackles. He throws the rope up] The cat is out of the bag!

Roland: We hope this kidnapping plan works or she’ll put us down....with her insults and cutting observations.

Garfield: [Once they’re high above, the two dogs leave; Odie barking] I think this is a case of mistaken identity! You must be looking for another gorgeous, lovable kitty cat! Right?! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, where you going? No, no, come back, come back! No, no. Odie?

Odie: Hmm?

Garfield: [Later, Garfield is exhausted while Odie plays the harmonica; groans] I'll handle this. Alright, you guys, I'm giving you the count of 3 to get back here, and let us down! 1, 2, 3! Four, five… I am not kidding here! 308, 309...I can't... yeah, they’re not coming. It’s over.

Voice: [offscreen] Psst!

Garfield: [He and Odie turn around to see a shrouded figure standing in the mall; Odie drops his harmonica in awe; The shrouded figure moves around; It comes to the mall ceiling by the ropes; sobs] Huh? Am I dead? Are you an angel? Please take me. I am ready to go to the... to the all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.

Shrouded figure: What? Listen, I’m going to swing you out, cut your ropes, and drop you safely to that landing below.

Garfield: Wait, what? That seems a tad risky. Is there another plan that doesn’t involve cutting the rope from a 40-foot drop?

Shrouded figure: [He swings Odie first then cuts his rope. The dog lands perfectly on the landing. Then, the shrouded figure swings Garfield and cuts his rope. The cat falls and lands next to Odie, though not so gracefully] No time. We gotta get outta here before they come back. We need to go! Come on, Junior!

Silhouetted cat: [flashback; echoes] Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back.

Garfield: [narrows his eyes as he pulls the shroud off the figure, revealing Vic, a burly orange tabby cat, then gasps and points angrily at him] You...!?

Vic: Uh… Hey, Junior.

Odie: Huh?

Garfield: Who is he? This is Vic, my "father".

Vic: Look, Junior, I know how you might be upset...

Garfield: [ticked off] Upset?! Why would I be upset? You only abandoned me in an alley as a kitten! I’m probably just overreacting!

Vic: Oh, no. Not her. Quick, follow me, junior!

Garfield: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You lost the privilege of telling me what to do a long time ago.

Jinx: Hello, Vic!

Vic: [scared] Dang!

Jinx: [laughs; makes spooky noises then laughs as she runs over to Nolan and Roland holding a phone; The phone shows a video of the trio being scared by her sudden appearance, laughs; laughs] Scare-cam! Oh, you should’ve seen your faces! OK, boys, show me! Post that ASAP!

Vic: [holds his hand out for a handshake] Hey, Jinx. I haven’t seen you since… Oh, well, no hard feelings though, right?

Jinx: [pushes Vic's hand away; glares for a moment, then smiles; hugs Vic] Oh, I don’t think so. I’m a hugger!

Garfield: A part of me wants to be mad at her for kidnapping us, but you gotta love her energy.

Jinx: [gasps; claps her paws to summon Barry] Where are my manners?

Barry: Chop, chop, gentlemen. Look alive.

Jinx: [drinks hers] Perfection. You know, I was so delighted to think you accepted my invitation here tonight.

Garfield: Well, throwing us in a burlap sack wasn’t exactly an Evite.

Jinx: Vic, you’re so quiet. Are you feline sad? Cat got your tongue? Would you prefer a mew-mosa?

Garfield: Excuse me, how do you two know each other?

Vic: Let me handle this, Junior.

Garfield: [Odie scoffs] Oh, don’t "Junior" me. You may call me Garfield, Mr. Garfield, or G-Money. Okay, whatever, no G-Money. Anyway, can somebody please tell me what is going on!?

Vic: Uh, we really...

Jinx: [interrupts Vic] I’ll take this one.

Garfield: What?

Jinx: [[w:London|London; We fade to a flashback of her entering America’s Next Top Feline, walking down the red carpet as people take pictures of her, voiceover; Cut to her holding a tuba. She stands still in stage fright. Crickets chirp. Voiceover; wah-wah sound is heard] I’m from a small town outside ] that you’ve probably never heard of. Oh, I scratched and clawed my way through hard times to come here with one dream. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to matter. But... I was a failure.

Announcer: [offscreen; spotlight shines elsewhere] The winner!

Jinx: [voiceover] And then, I met Vic and his crew. They were outcasts. Losers. Thugs. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. We became a real family.

Garfield: [scoffs; to Roland] Vic and family. I know where this is going. Excuse me, garcon? Uh, when might we expect appetizers? Perhaps some amuse-bouche?

Jinx: [Cut to a flashback of the crew stealing quarts of milk from Lactose Farms. Voiceover; She drops one bottle and tries to get it, only to be captured and thrown in a pound truck, flashback; Vic tries to go after the truck, but it drives off with her. Cut back to present day] Then, one night... We were about to make our biggest score. Enough milk to last us for weeks! Vic! VIIIIIIC!!!

Vic: Jinx, I tried to come back for you. You have to know that.

Jinx: Oh, yes. You get an A for effort.

Garfield: So, what happened next?

Jinx: [Cut to her being served slop in the pound. Voiceover; One cat knocks her lunch away. Cut to Jinx sleeping under a smelly cat, voiceover; Cut to her sulking at the fence. Voiceover] Imagine Alcatraz... But smellier. It was cold and lonely... And stinky. So very stinky. I can’t ever state that enough. But it gave me purpose. I needed to get out. I just needed help.

Garfield: So, your purpose was to escape jail and get involved with charities?

Jinx: [Vic gulps in fear] Nope. My purpose was...revenge.

Garfield: Oh, I see. I went the other way with it.

Jinx: I’m kidding! Another cat would be bent on revenge, but I’m a...ooh, how do you put it?

Barry: Evolved, compassionate, and incredibly self-actualized.

Jinx: [giggles] Bingo! I had such trouble finding him and when I discovered you were his son, I had no choice but to kidnap you to lure him here.

Garfield: Listen, I totally get it. It’s all a part of being associated with Vic. So, what do you need from him to make this right?

Jinx: I simply want him to pay back the quart of milk I lost that night, and we’ll call it even.

Vic: I can do that.

Garfield: What he can’t do is raise a child.

Jinx: Just one quart.

Garfield: Just one quart.

Vic: Done!

Garfield: Done!

Jinx: For every day I was in the pound.

Vic: What now?

Garfield: Nice twist. Well played.

Vic: Uh, how long were you in the pound again?

Vic: Whoa! That long?

Garfield: [clears his throat] Alright, I’m gonna do the math here in my brain and, uh...the way you do that is... Odie?

Garfield: 1,675 quarts of milk. Exactly right, Odie. We both came up with it at the exact same time.

Vic: Where am I gonna find that much milk?

Jinx: Well, I suggest you go back to the place you double-crossed me. Lactose Farms.

Garfield: [laughs; He tries to leave but is stopped by Roland and Nolan] Wow. Well, good luck, Vic. I’ll leave you two to work on the fine print. We’ll just see ourselves out. Odie...

Jinx: Uh, no, you’re all going to do this.

Garfield: What? Why me? He’s the one who abandoned you!

Jinx: Yes, but this is more than a one-cat job.

Garfield: If I’m sure Vic has a whole crew of lowlife cat burglars, he could ask.

Jinx: Oh, I’m sure he does, but if I’m being completely honest, seeing how miserable you make one another brings me endless satisfaction.

Garfield: Oh, well, thank you for your honesty. And if I don’t go?

Jinx: [to the hench-dogs] You can stay and have a playdate with Roland and Nolan. Okay, boys, go play!

Barry: [clears his throat, last words] Ma’am. I think this is an opportunity to take a deep, cleansing breath and repeat your anger management mantra.

Jinx: [clears her throat] Anyone else have any objections?

Garfield: [gulps nervously; gives two thumbs-up] Nope, I’m good. Thanks for the opportunity.

Jinx: [drinks her milk and throws her glass away] Excellent! Now you boys have 72 hours... or else!

Garfield: [voiceover] Up until that moment, my life was a perfect souffle. Little did I know, it was all about to collapse.

Sleep App Voice: Imagine yourself drifting away on a sea of tranquility. There are no pets to bother you, distract you, or max out your credit card by excessively placing online food orders.

Garfield: [As he sleeps, his stomach rumbles and yawned; his stomach rumbles again, waking him up; He notice to his tummy; yawns; Odie wakes up; Odie jumps off from Jon's bed. He moans as Odie helps him up from his bed. Yawns] Oh, I swear. Huh? What? Who said that? Huh? Odie. Odie. Odie! It’s time for our midnight snack. Thank you, good sir. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Garfield: [yawns; his stomach rumbles; As Odie grabs some food, they hear shuffling nearby] What are we feeling like today, huh? French? Italian? Chinese? Cupcakes? Chinese it is. Odie, shape everything from the bottom two shelves into a dumpling.

Garfield and Odie: Huh?

Roland: [in British accent] Late night snacking?

Nolan: Not good for digestion.

Garfield: [uninterested; Odie slaps Garfield and Roland roars at the him] Odie, I'm dreaming again. Slap me across the face. Nope! Still dreaming. I must be really deep in this one.

Garfield: [lies down on Jon’s face] Wakie, wakie, eggs and bakey! Good morning!

Jon: What? Where’d you get that chair?

Rom-Com Woman: [on TV] I think I was meant to be here tonight because I was meant to meet you.

Rom-Com Man: [on TV] I think we were meant to be.

Rom-Com Woman: [on TV] That’s what I meant to say.

Rom-Com Man: [on TV; they both kiss] You had me at the word “meant.”

Fitness Bike Instructor: [on phone] We're going to ride like the wind! Faster! Harder! More exciting!

Garfield: [to Jon] Odie! Yeah, can you put this back to normal? There you go. Just let the pepperoni’s healing powers work its magic.

Garfield: [jumps off the bed as Odie sleeps with Jon, he turns off the light] You saw nothing.

Garfield: [voiceover; We see a time passage of Jon putting down pet stuff while Garfield eats pizza, voiceover; Cut to Garfield riding through the wind, voiceover; Zoom out to see him riding on top of Odie, as a puppy. They run around the house while Jon reads “The Great Catsby.” Then, they ride atop a robotic vacuum with Garfield drinking from a cup and Odie gnawing on a bone. Cut to Baby Garfield pulling down the table covers to bring down two glass cookie jars. Garfield ends up inside one while Odie’s head is in another, voiceover; Odie bounces on Garfield’s tummy and steals a burger from Jon. Garfield removes the lettuce, and eats the burger before giving the lettuce to Odie, who looks at the viewers as if saying, "Seriously?". Later, as Jon is drawing, Garfield is bungee jumping outside the house. Each time Jon checks, he sees nothing. Then, as Garfield blows raspberries at his owner, we see the bungee rope being Odie’s tongue. Cut to see Odie eating from Garfield’s food bowl. Then, time passes and the two grow up while eating and watching TV with Jon. Garfield is holding his beloved teddy bear, Pooky. Voiceover; Cut close to him, clears his throat and looks at the audience] So I moved Jon out of his apartment to this nice, little two-bed, two-bath in the suburbs. As soon as he understood the ground rules, well, let’s just say, we were living the dream. And once we were settled in, I even let Jon get a pet. Odie, became my most trusted ally. He was kind, gentle, and most importantly, my unpaid intern. Oh, yeah. As you can see, life here is pretty near perfect. Well, yeah, except for...

Jon: Time to go to the vet!

Liz Wilson: [over PA] We’re gonna need the big scale!

Garfield: [to the viewers] Does she need to announce it to the whole office?

Garfield: [as he's being bathed] No! Please! No! Ow, it’s so hot! Ow, it’s really hurting! Ow, ow, ow!

Garfield: [to the viewers; grumpily; pause] And that’s why we should go from Sunday to Tuesday. OK. Where were we?

Garfield: [first lines; offscreen; types in the password 061978 on the phone, unlocking it; opens the Mamma Leoni’s app to make his order; chuckles; The app screen slides to the side to show the orange tabby cat himself; hits NOW] OK, it's time to eat. Let's see, open the app. I’m gonna get a double pepperoni pizza, uh, an order of breadsticks, and...Well, lasagna. Yeah. Ooh! A new item alert? Jalapeño breadstick quick bites. Huh. It might be nice to add something in the salad family. And do I want dessert? Oooh! I’m gonna be naughty! Butterscotch budino. OK, I’m gonna have five. Delivery? Goes without saying... now, please.

Mamma Leoni's App: Mama mia!

Garfield: [notices the audience; Odie, a yellow dog with brown ears, jumps and barks excitedly; Odie whines sadly; sighs; He gives Odie a biscuit and he eats it before licking him happily, much to his disgust; pushes Odie down; laughs; the doorbell rings; A drone enters the house, delivering Garfield’s order; opens the box for his double pepperoni pizza; notices a small basil on his pizza; flicks it off, stretches his mouth open, places the pizza in, and munches down; He moves his mouth in a sucking position near his drink. Odie tips the cup to Garfield’s mouth and the cat sips his drink] Alright. That oughta hold me til breakfast. Oh, hey! Are you guys early or am I late? No matter. I have got a real treat for you today. No, not a treat for you. OK. Anyway, about that treat... Can I just say, you will not be disappointed. It’s a story about me...'...that no one’s ever heard before featuring someone in my life you’ve never met. I don’t know about you, but color me intrigued. Oh ho yeah! Drone delivery. Welcome to the future. You know, to really understand everything, I’m gonna have to take you back to where it all began. Don’t want anything to take away from the flavor of cheese. And like every great story, it all started... ...on a dark and stormy night.

Silhouetted cat: Wait here, Junior. I'll be right back.

Girl: Open wide, Jake.

Jon: [leans in, then holds out a finger; Garfield paws at his finger, then looks over at the pizza and licks the glass. Jon glances over to see no one coming, then secretly opens the window to let Garfield in. Garfield, despite his tiny pint size, hops into his hand. As the duo stare at each other, Garfield licks his cheek as Jon chuckles, then rubs his back on his chin while purring. Jon sets his little friend on the table beside the pizza; As Garfield nods as if saying "Yes", Jon feeds him a pepperoni, then chuckles and offers another; At lightning speed, Garfield eats the entire pizza, then the slice that Jon was about to eat, then finally eats the pepperoni; sees Vito coming, then grabs a menu, hiding Garfield behind it] Aww! Hi there, little buddy! Hi! Are you hungry, little guy? Do you want a little more? Whoa! You are a hungry little guy.

Vito: [chuckles as Garfield peeks out from under Jon's wrist, but Jon himself pushes him back behind the menu] That was a quick dinner, Signore Jon. You must’ve been very hungry. Can I bring you anything else?

Jon: [looks at the menu as Garfield rubs his paw on a picture of a single piece of lasagna] Uh, yes.

Musician: [offscreen] Grazie! Grazie! Thank you very much!

Jon: Some...lasagna?

Vito: Si. Lasagna for one.

Jon: [looks at the menu again as Garfield points to a picture of a 6-piece family-styled lasagna] Uh, yeah. You know what? No. Uh, make it family-style.

Vito: Very good.

Jon: [as Vito walks away] To go, please, Vito.

Musician: [offscreen] OK! Everybody! You all know this one!

Jon: [lifts the menu to find Garfield gone; spots Garfield slurping spaghetti and meatballs as a birthday party commences] Huh? What? Where'd he go?

Patrons: [offscreen] Hey!

Musician: [offscreen] Stand up and sing. Join us.

Jon: ["Tarantella Napoletana" plays as he moves through the crowd; moves under another table, and tries to grab Garfield, but finds marinara sauce on his fingers. He notices Garfield eating cookies. As he goes to eat a slice of pizza, Jon grabs him, still on the plate, and hides him behind his back as Vito walks by with a big birthday cake. Once Vito is gone, Jon pulls out the plate from behind his back, but once again, Garfield has disappeared. He spots him walking through the birthday cake with a big bite on it. Jon scrambles on all fours to search for him] Oh, no! Oh, no. Excuse me. Pardon me.

Maria: [offscreen; As Jon looks around, Maria comes in with a to-go box for Jon] Jon! Take-out for Jon! Your take-out is ready, Signore Jon.

Jon: Yes.

Maria: [opens the box, revealing Garfield eating on the top middle of the family-style lasagna] One familia-style lasagna to go! You eat alone too much, Jon.

Jon: Yeah.

Maria: You should get on the dating apps.

Jon: No, I'm good, thanks.

Maria: There's Bumble, Tinder, Gluten-Free Singles...

Jon: Oh, really?

Maria: Hot Sauce Passions.

Jon: No, I could never.

Maria: And you should spend serious money on premium memberships.

Jon: [quickly leaves the restaurant, and the lid pops open, with Garfield still in the box; chuckles as he sets the box down on the ground, and puts Garfield on the lid; Garfield cocks his head; As Garfield sniffles sadly, he cries, shedding a lot of tears; The tears make a river that leads to a storm drain. Garfield waves goodbye to him; scrambles toward Garfield, and grabs him, just as the box enters the storm drain. He then stands up while holding the tiny pint-sized kitten in both hands] Bye! Huh? Oh, hey. Well, that was an interesting dinner… that you had. Well, I guess, um...this is where we say goodbye. Oh, you’re really cute, but I can’t have pets in my apartment. So...I’ll see you around, OK? Go on. Oh, no. No, no, no, don’t cry. Don’t cry. Oh. Oh! No, no, no, no, no! No! Oh, no! Oh, no! You don’t have a home, do you?

Garfield: And that's how I adopted Jon.