The Kids Are All Right Quotes

Laser I don't think you guys should break up.

Nic No? Why's that?

Laser I think you're too old.

Nic Thanks, Laser.

Jules Allgood I wish you were gay, you'd be much more sensitive.

Paul Hatfield It's hard enough to open your heart in this world. Don't make it harder.

Laser Why did you donate your sperm?

Paul Because it seemed more fun than donating blood.

Nic Allgood So, are you straight now?

Jules Allgood I need to say something. It's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and... Bottom line is, marriage is hard. Its really fucking hard. Just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing. Its a fucking marathon, okay? So, sometimes, you know, you're together so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of your own junk. Instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did. And I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom, and that's the truth. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why. You know, if I read more Russian novels, then... I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me eventually. Thank you.

Nic Maybe we should just sit him down and ask him already.

Jules What? "Are you and Clay fucking?

Nic Exploring" is a better word.

Paul Just making an observation.

Nic Yeah? Well I need your observations like I need a dick in my ass!

Sasha I'm just saying, the spermster's a hottie. Is he single?

Joni Okay, first of all: Ew. And second, he's a really good person, so I prefer it if you didn't taint him with your "whore youth".

Sasha Fair enough, hairy muff.