Prison Guard Reflects on Authority and Control
Prison Staff: [[w:Brian Bosworth|Brian Bosworth]
] as Guard Garner
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Authority and Control in a Prison Setting
Prison Staff: [[w:Steve Austin|Steve Austin]
] as Guard Dunham
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Authority and Discipline in Prison Life
Prison Staff: [[w:Kevin Nash|Kevin Nash]
] as Sgt. Engleheart
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Authority and Control in Prison Settings
Prison Staff: [[w:William Fichtner|William Fichtner]
] as Cpt. Wilhem Knauer
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Authority and Control in Prison Environment
Prison Staff: [[James Cromwell]
] as Warden Rudolph Hazen
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Embracing teamwork despite challenging circumstances
Convicts: [[w:Tracy Morgan|Tracy Morgan]
] as Miss Tucker
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Convicts' determination in challenging circumstances
Convicts: [[w:Steve Reevis|Steve Reevis]
] as "Baby Face" Bob Rainwater
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Embracing resilience in challenging circumstances
Convicts: [[w:Eddie Bunker|Eddie Bunker]
] as Doc "Skitchy" Rivers
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Convicts Reflect on Their Situation
Convicts: [[w:David Patrick Kelly|David Patrick Kelly]
] as Unger
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Convicts Unite for a Common Purpose
Convicts: [[w:Rob Schneider|Rob Schneider]
] as Plunky
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A Convict's Perspective on Life Challenges
Convicts: [[w:Joey Diaz|Joey Diaz]
] as Big Tony
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Facing Challenges with Conviction and Teamwork
Convicts:
Lobo Sebastian as Torres
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Convicts Embrace Team Spirit in Adversity
Convicts: [[w:The Great Khali|Dalip Singh]
] as Turley
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Convicts Discuss Life and Choices
Convicts: [[w:Nicholas Turturro|Nicholas Turturro]
] as Brucie
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Convicts Reflect on Their Situation
Convicts: [[w:Bob Sapp|Bob Sapp]
] as Switowski
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Convict's Perspective on Life and Choices
Convicts: [[w:Terry Crews|Terry Crews]
] as "Cheeseburger" Eddy
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Convict Reflects on Life's Challenges
Convicts: [[w:Bill Goldberg|Bill Goldberg]
] as Joey "Battle" Battaglio
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Convicts Find Strength in Unity
Convicts: [[w:Michael Irvin|Michael Irvin]
] as Deacon Moss
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Convicts Reflect on Their Situation
Convicts: [[w:Nelly|Nelly]
] as Earl Megget
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Teamwork Among Convicts in Challenging Circumstances
Convicts: [[Burt Reynolds]
] as Coach Nate Scarborough
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Reflection on Life Behind Bars
Convicts: [[Chris Rock]
] as James "Caretaker" Farrell
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Convicts Challenge Authority in The Longest Yard
Convicts: [[Adam Sandler]
] as Paul "Wrecking" Crewe
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Get Even When You Can't Escape
Tagline:
If you can't get out, get even.
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Facing the Past and Uniting for Change
Paul Crewe: [team puts hands together with him]
Huddle up! Look, I'm sure you already know this, but I've never said it out loud. I did throw that game. I did it. I was in a bad way with some worse people. After I did it, I felt so shitty, I wish I would have just let them kill me instead. Now the warden wants to pin Caretaker's murder on me if I don't throw this game. So it looks like I'm going to get to know you guys a lot better because I ain't doing that twice in a lifetime. We got a little time left. We can still do this. I'm begging you. Put your hands in here. Okay, thank you. Who are we?
Mean Machine Players: [takes the field]
MEAN MACHINE!!!
Turley:
I'm glad you are back. Now I don't have to stab you.
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A Humorous Incident in the Press Box
Switowski: [Sniffs]
...I think I made him shit himself.
Nate Scarborough:
I think he just shit himself.
Sportswriters in press box:
I think he just shit himself.
Guards team trainer: [Loading Durham on a cart]
Good lord, this guy shit himself big time.
Switowski: [Laughs]
See, I told you I made him shit himself!
Earl Meggett: [To Durham]
Yo, I'll be sure to send those books to you in the hospital, pimp!
Deacon: [Laughing]
And some diapers!
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Rallying Cry Against Authority
Caretaker:
Now who we gonna crush?!
Crowd:
THE GUARDS!
Caretaker:
Who we gonna kill?!
Crowd:
THE GUARDS!
Caretaker:
Who we gonna kiss?!
Brucie:
THE GUARDS!
Caretaker: [everyone mocks Brucie]
Gotcha.
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Determination Amidst Adversity on the Field
Nate Scarborough:
Did it rain last night?
Skitchy:
Not a drop.
Paul Crewe: [Under his breath; Faces team]
Son of a bitch. Okay, guys, the warden is trying to break our spirit. He thinks we're just going to call it day, wait for the field to dry, make up for it tomorrow. You know what, who gives a shit? Three days until game-time, we can handle it. But I'll tell you something else, that old man flooding this field tells me something: the guy is scared. Scared of you; sick, degenerate convicts. And you know what? He should be. Because I got news for you. We're going to win this game.
Nate Scarborough:
Did he say "win"?
Paul:
So, what's it going to be? We can either cancel practice today, go back to our cells, wait for tomorrow, or we can prepare for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta in the history of football. I'll leave it to you guys.
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Trust and Neighborhood Changes in The Longest Yard
Deacon:
This better be on the up and up.
Paul Crewe:
I guarantee it.
Deacon: [shakes Crewe's hand]
Then let's do this shit.
Earl Meggett: [team laughs]
There goes the neighborhood.
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Football Team Recruitment in Prison
Inmate:
Hey, yo, check out this fake Slim Shady, man.
Cheeseburger Eddy: [Crewe shrugs head]
I knew you couldn't resist my shit. I got the shakes that will make you quake, I got the fries that will cross your eyes, I got the burgers that will... I just got burgers.
Paul Crewe:
I'm all right. Thank you. Just wanted to talk to you fellas about possibly joining the football team.
Deacon:
The only game we'd play with you is "Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch.
Cheeseburger Eddy: [makes a robot dance as his friends laugh]
Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch Baby-back bitch.
Caretaker:
That's a big-ass robot.
Paul:
Yeah.
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Real Football Challenge Against the Guards
Battle:
Wow, no bullshit? Real football, against the guards?
Nate Scarborough:
Full contact.
Battle:
Captain Knauer is their quarterback?
Caretaker:
Yup.
Battle:
So I get to...tackle him?
Paul Crewe: [Pointing to Battle's crotch.]
Yeah, you can either tackle him or hit him over the head with that hammer.
Battle: [Grins]
I want to hurt him, not kill him.
Caretaker: [To Crewe]
Let's get out of here before that thing bites someone.
Paul:
Okay, we'll see you and your pet iguana at practice.
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Inmate Rating System Explained
Nate Scarborough: [accessing main computer]
Hazen has a rating system for every con.
Paul Crewe: [sees the three-star rating on Big Tony Cobianco's file]
What's three stars?
Nate:
The more prone to violence that the inmate is, the more stars he gets.
Skitchy:
Five stars is the max.
Caretaker:
I didn't know that.
Skitchy:
Yeah.
Caretaker: [Nate accesses file and sees Caretaker only had a 0.5 star rating]
Let's see how many stars my maniacal ass got.
Paul:
Wow.
Caretaker:
Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it again. Check it again.
Paul:
You're about as maniacal as a boxful of kittens.
Caretaker:
Come on, that's not funny, man. I'm gonna have to stab somebody or something. Get my rep up.
Paul:
Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonight. That could get it up some.
Skitchy: [overhears]
Yeah. We can sell it to pay-per-view. Superstar Versus Half-a-Star.
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