Memorable Quotes from Billy Barty
6 quotesAbsurdity in a Car Sales Promotion
Crazy Ernie
If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal! That's right. I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy!
Richard Fletcher
Awwwww, did I do that? Oopsie!
[sarcastically, after having tripped up Noodles Macintosh]
Joe Earley
Can you believe this?! Would you look at that! Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers"! I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red.
[after cutting off a finger with a table saw]
Sy Greenblum
Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.
[In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial]
Earl Ramsey
Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight. Guns don't kill people; I do!
Teri
George Newman, you are a thoughtless, insensitive CREEP! From now on you can forget all my birthdays, because WE'RE THROUGH!
Philo
Hello, my name is Philo and welcome to... Secrets Of The Universe. Today we are going to learn how to make plutonium from common household items.
[unfolds a piece of paper with the title written on it; recites title with echo effect; folds paper back up]
Young book customer
These books are a little overdue.
[in a preview for "Conan the Librarian"; Conan slices him in two!!]
Gandhi
Give me a steak, medium-rare.
Kuni (and other karate experts)
SUH-PLIIEES!!
Noodles Macintosh
Awwww... did I do that? Oopsie!
[having just vengefully stuck a foot out and tripped up Richard Fletcher, now throwing Richard Fletcher's sarcasm right back at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Magic and Intuition
High Aldwin
Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. Forget all you know, or think you know. All that you require is your intuition.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Sweet Bargain for a Kiss
Oona
I'll do what you ask if you'll kiss me, Jack.
Jack
Easy enough.
[pecks her quickly on the cheek]
Oona
You call that a kiss? Am I not sweet?
Jack
Sweeter than bee pollen on summer wind.
Oona
Sweet as the wind that blows me to you!
[taking the form of Lili]
Screwball
It's fairy magic!
Jack
Lili? Lili!
Oona/Lili
Yes, Jack?
Jack
This isn't real.
Oona/Lili
Oh, but it is! I'm warn and alive and want to be in your arms.
Jack
No, I can't! No. It's just more fairy glamor. Human hearts don't work that way.
[hesitating]
Oona
What care I for human hearts, soft and spiritless as porridge? A fairy's heart beats fierce and free!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Identity and Purpose
Screwball
There's only one thing I want to know.
Brown Tom
What?
Screwball
Why me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consulting the Bones Reveals No Answers
High Aldwin
I will consult the bones!! ... The bones tell me... nothing.
[Disperses the bones on the ground, pausing for a moment, then whispering to Willow discreetly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Food and Its Origins
Man-At-Arms
Mmm... good food.
Teela
I wonder why they put the meat on these little white sticks?
Man-At-Arms
Those are rib bones.
Teela
You mean this used to be an animal?
[pauses in shock]
Man-At Arms
Mm-hmm.
[continues eating]
Teela
Ugh! What a barbaric world...
Man-At-Arms
Never think while you're hungry.
Teela
I think we've wasted enough time. We'd better get back to our sectors.
Gwildor
It tasted good...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.