Chris HemsworthQuotes

James Hunt: Come on, Come on!

Alistair Caldwell: James!

Hunt: Come on!

Caldwell: Listen!

Hunt: What?!

Caldwell: Just go easy out there.

Hunt: What are you saying?

Caldwell: I’m saying look after yourself. We want you back in one piece. You’re too far back. There’s too many drivers in front of you. There’s always next year.

Hunt: [thrusts helmet visor shut; accelerates wildly out of the pit lane] So that’s it? It’s over?! ... Fuck it!

James Hunt: I feel responsible for what happened.

Niki Lauda: You were.

Hunt: I swayed the room and the race should never have went ahead.

Lauda: You did, but trust me. Watching you win those races while I was fighting for my life. You were equally responsible for getting me back in the car.

James Hunt: So when did all this start?

Suzy Miller: That weekend I went skiing. Why have you come here, James?

Hunt: I've got to get you back.

Miller: Oh, come on, James. You don't want me back. You never wanted to be married in the first place.

Hunt: Yes, I did.

Miller: You did it because you hoped it might change you, settle you down, help with the racing.

Hunt: No, I didn't.

Miller: And who knows, if it had been just the drinking, or the dope, or the infidelity or the moods, it might even have worked. But when it's all of them...

Hunt: Yes, I know, I'm terrible.

Miller: No, you're not terrible. You're just who you are at this point in your life. God help anyone who wants more.

Hunt: And Richard Burton, will he be able to give you more? You know, he has quite the bad-boy reputation himself.

Miller: What's important is how it feels to me, and it feels like he adores me.

James Hunt: [notices Lord Hesketh feeling glum] Whatever it takes to beat that prick next year, just say it, your word is my command. There are no lengths to which I will not go and I mean it. What the hell's going on? Where is everybody? What's the matter?

Lord Hesketh: Do you know what the date it is today?

Hunt: Yes.

Hesketh: It's November the 14th.

Hunt: Why?

Hesketh: Do you have any idea of the significance of that date?

Hunt: I don't know. Time to start killing pheasants?

Hesketh: Actually, it's the deadline for securing sponsorship for the forthcoming Formula 1 season.

Hunt: Yes?

Hesketh: Which elapsed at midnight last night and we didn't attract any.

Hunt: Well, so? We aren't looking for sponsorship. Like you said, condoms and cigarettes, vulgar, right?

Hesketh: Right. Except we are, or were. I've made something of a miscalculation. The economics, Formula 1, realities thereof. It turns out not like the lower divisions at all.

Hunt: What are you saying?

Hesketh: I'm saying it's over, Superstar. The banks have stepped in, started laying everyone off. Probably have to sell this place.

Suzy Miller: Why don't they make it safer?

James Hunt: The risk of death turns people on.

James Hunt: I had a friendly disagreement with another driver about his wife.

Nurse Gemma: [checks eyes] Why, what did you do?

Hunt: Only what she asked me to do.

Gemma: Which was?

Hunt: I could show you if you'd like.

Rowan: What form would you prefer I take?

Holtzmann: Uh, maybe something stationary, like a bullseye.

Patty: Well, I'll tell ya what I prefer. I prefer something nice and cute, like a friendly little ghost.

Rowan: [reveals himself as the Ghostbusters logo] Oh, is this what you want? Something more familiar?

Kevin: Mm, ice cream. Mm...

Patty: Y'know what? I don't have a problem with that. Thank you very much for bein reasonable.

Rowan: [turns to his true form] If this is what you want, it works for me.

Abby: Oh, he's really goin for it.

Patty: Man, I said "cute". CUTE!!!

Erin: Kevin, hi, can you answer the phone?

Kevin: I can't. It's in the fish tank.

Erin: No, the one on the desk that's ringing. That one.

Kevin: Oh, that one! What's this place called again?

Kevin: Would it be okay if I bring my cat to work sometimes? He has major anxiety problems.

Abby: You know what? I would love to let your cat live here with you, but I have a pretty severe cat allergy.

Kevin: Oh, I don't have a cat. He's a dog. His name's Mike Hat.

Abby: Your dog's name is My Cat?

Kevin: Mike Hat.

Erin: Your dog's name is Mike, last name Hat?

Kevin: Well, his full name is Michael Hat.

Abby: I can't say that I'm allergic to dogs... so.

Kevin: You know, it's all right. He lives with my mum.

Odin: One son who wanted the throne too much, and another who will not take it. Is this my legacy?

Thor: [''Offers the hammer''] Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Is that not legacy enough?

Odin: It belongs to you, if you are worthy of it.

Thor: I shall try to be.

Odin: I can not give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune.

Thor: [''Turns to leave''] I know.

Odin: If I were proud of the man my son has become, even that I could not say, it would speak only from my heart. Go, my son.

Thor: [''Leaves''] Thank you, Father.

Loki: [''Appears from Odin's guise''] No... thank you.

Malekith: Darkness returns, Asgardian. Have you come to witness the end of your universe?

Thor: I've come to accept your surrender.

Malekith: You think you can stop this?! The Aether cannot be destroyed!

Thor: [Summons Mjolnir and deals the final blow to Malekith] But you can.

Malekith: You needn't have come so far, Asgardian. Death would have come to you soon enough.

Thor: Not by your hand!

Malekith: Your universe was never meant to be. Your world and your family will be extinguished!

Thor: [''Holding a dying Loki''] I will tell Father what you did here today.

Loki: I didn't do it for him.

Dr. Erik Selvig: Your brother is not coming, is he?

Thor: Loki is dead.

Dr. Erik Selvig: [Thor looks at him in confusion] Oh, thank God. I...I'm so sorry.

Thor: You think you alone were loved of Mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust!

Loki: Trust? Was that her last expression, trust? While you let her die?!

Thor: What good were you in your cell?

Loki: Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?!

Thor: [Pins Loki and is about to hit him, but relents and lets him go] YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO!!! She wouldn't want us to fight.

Loki: Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked.

Thor: [''Chuckles''] I wish I could trust you.

Loki: [''Whispers''] Trust my rage.

Loki: [''Steering the skiff towards a tiny crevice in the mountain''] If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Thor: Are you mad?

Loki: Possibly.

Loki: Thor. After all this time and now you come to visit me. Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock?

Thor: [''Loki and the neat room turn to a destroyed room with Loki looking disheveled on the floor''] Loki, enough. No more illusions.

Loki: [''referring to Frigga''] Now you see me, brother. Did she suffer?

Thor: I did not come here to share our grief. Instead, I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament.

Loki: Go on.

Thor: I know you seek vengeance as much as I do. You help me escape Asgard, and I will grant it to you. Vengeance. And afterward, this cell.

Loki: [''Chuckles''] You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?

Thor: I don't. Mother did. You should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere. That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me, and I will kill you.

Loki: Hm. When do we start?

Thor: Jane?

Jane: Sorry. I just…needed to make sure you were real. It's been a very strange day.

Thor: I am. Jane—

Jane: Where were you?!

Thor: Where were you? Heimdall could not see you.

Jane: I was right here where you left me! I was waiting, and then I was crying, and then I went out looking for you. You said you were coming back.

Thor: I know. I know, but the Bifröst was destroyed. The Nine Realms erupted into chaos. Wars were raging, marauders were pillaging…I had to put an end to the slaughter.

Jane: [[The Avengers (2012 film)|You were in New York!] As excuses go, it's not…terrible…But I saw you on TV! ]

Thor: Jane, I fought to protect you from the dangers of my world, but I was wrong. I was a fool. But I believe that fate brought us together.

Sif: I've got this completely under control!

Thor: Is that why everything's on fire?

Sif: [Steps back] All yours.

Thor: [The beast roars] Hello. I accept your surrender.

Thor: Anyone else?

Fandral: Perhaps next time we should start with the big one!

Thor: So Earth is lost to us...

Heimdall: No. There is always hope.

Thor: Can you see her?

Heimdall: Yes.

Thor: How is she?

Heimdall: [Sees Jane fiddling at lab] She searches for you.

Odin: You'll be a wise king.

Thor: [Long pause] There will never be a wiser king than you– nor a better father. I have– much to learn. I know that, now. Someday, perhaps– I shall make you proud.

Odin: You've already made me proud.

Loki: [Gets up and tries to prevent Thor from destroying the Bridge] What are you doing? IF YOU DESTROY THE BRIDGE, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!

Thor: Forgive me, Jane.

Loki: I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!

Odin: No, Loki.

Thor: [Loki lets go and falls into space] Loki, no! NO!

Odin: No.

Jane: [Sees anomaly disappear on telescope] It's gone.

Jane: So is this how you normally look?

Thor: More or less.

Jane: [Impressed] It's a good look.

Thor: Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry. But these people are innocent. Taking their lives will gain you nothing. So take mine and end this.

Jane: [Runs for Thor] No!

Thor: It's over.

Jane: No. It's not over.

Thor: I mean, you're safe.

Jane: We're safe.

Thor: [Thor dies] It's over.

Jane: No... no...

Jane: Oh... my... god.

Jane: What happened?

Thor: Nothing. We drank, we fought… Erik made his ancestors proud.

Erik: I still don't believe you're the god of thunder… but you ought to be!

Thor: What's wrong?

Jane: S.H.I.E.L.D. Whatever they are, they're gonna do everything in their power to make sure this research never sees the light of day.

Thor: No, Jane. Listen to me. You must not give up. You must finish what you've started.

Jane: Why?

Thor: [Opens her notebook; Thor is connecting the circles in her notebook] Because you're right. Here, look. Your ancestors called it magic and you call it science. Well, I come from a place where they're one and the same thing.

Jane: What is that?

Thor: My father explained it to me like this, that your world is one of the Nine Realms of the Cosmos, linked to each other by the branches of Yggdrasil, the World Tree. Now you see it everyday without realizing. The images glimpsed through... what did you call it? This Hooble Telescope.

Jane: Hubble.

Thor: Hubble Telescope.

Jane: Tell me more.

Thor: [Points to circles] So, the Nine Realms. Now, there is Midgard, which is Earth. This is Alfheim. Vanaheim. Jötunheim. And Asgard. And that's where I come from.

Thor: You, What realm is this? Alfheim? Nornheim?

Darcy Lewis: [[w:New Mexico|New Mexico] ]?

Thor: You dare threaten me, Thor, with so puny a...

Lewis: What? He was freaking me out!

Thor: Why did you bring us back?

Odin: Do you realize what you've done? What you've started?

Thor: I was protecting my home.

Odin: [Throws Heimdall the sword. Heimdall catches it. He turns to Fandral, who was injured in the fight] You cannot even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect a kingdom? Get him to a healing room! Now!

Thor: There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act. The Jotuns must learn to fear me, just as they once feared you.

Odin: That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You've forgotten everything I taught you about a warrior's patience.

Thor: [Getting frustrated] While you wait and be patient, the Nine Realms laugh at us. The old ways are done. You'd stand giving speeches while Asgard falls!

Odin: [Suddenly shouting] YOU ARE A VAIN, GREEDY, CRUEL BOY!!!

Thor: [Just as loud] AND YOU ARE AN OLD MAN AND A FOOL!!!

Odin: [Hesitantly, obviously hurt] Yes. I was a fool... to think you were ready.

Loki: Father–

Odin: [To Loki; To Thor; [WAR; starts stripping Thor's armor; seizes Mjolnir; removes arm braces; Banishes Thor to Earth; whispers to Mjolnir; Throws Mjolnir to Earth] HAEEERGH!!! Thor Odinson, you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of ]! You are unworthy of these realms! Unworthy of your title! You're unworthy! Of the loved ones you have betrayed. I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, CAST YOU OUT!!! Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.

Thor: [[Avengers: Age of Ultron|fought some robots; [w:Infinity Stones|Infinity Stone things; ''Camera shows a skeleton. Its jaw ever so conveniently falls off''] Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no. Thor's in a cage. How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It's a long story, basically...I'm a bit of a hero. See, I've spent some time on Earth, ], saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for some magic colorful ]...didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death and destruction. Which led me all the way here into this cage...where I met you. How much longer do you think we'll be in here?

Surtur: Thor, son of Odin.

Thor: [[Thor (film)|I thought my father killed you, like....half a billion years ago] Surtur, son of ... a bitch! You're still alive? ].

Surtur: I cannot die. Not until I fulfill my destiny, and lay waste to your home.

Thor: You know, it's funny you should mention that. Because I've been having these terrible dreams of late! Asgard up in flames. Falling to ruins. And you, Surtur, are the centre of all of them.

Surtur: Then you have seen Ragnarök: The fall of Asgard, the great prophecy–

Thor: [''Rotating away from Surtur's direction''; ''Thor has now rotated to face Surtur''] Hang on... Hang on... I'll be... back around shortly. You know, I really feel like we were connecting there. Okay, so, Ragnarök. Tell me about that. Walk me through it.

Surtur: My time has come. When my crown is reunited with the Eternal Flame, I shall be restored to my full might! I will tower over the mountains, and bury my sword deep in Asgard!

Thor: [''Rotating away from Surtur's direction again''; ''Thor has again rotated to face Surtur''] Whoop, hang on! Give it a second... I swear, I'm not even moving, it's just doing this on its own! I'm really sorry. Okay, so let me get this straight. You're going to put your crown into the Eternal Flame, and you'll suddenly grow big as a house?

Surtur: A MOUNTAIN!

Thor: The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps locked away in Asgard?

Surtur: Odin is not on Asgard. And your absence has left the throne defenseless.

Thor: Okay, so... where is this crown?

Surtur: [''Taps the structure on his head''] This is my crown. The source of my power!...

Thor: Oh, that's a crown? I thought it was a big eyebrow.

Surtur: [''Annoyed''] It's a crown!

Thor: Anyway, it sounds like all I have to do to stop Ragnarök is rip that thing off your head.

Surtur: [''Laughs''] But Ragnarök has already begun! You cannot stop it! I am Asgard's doom, and so are you! All will suffer! All. Will. BURN.

Thor: [He has a smug little smirk at the end of this mini-tirade] Oh, that's intense. You know to be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle. But it looks like, I'm gonna have to choose "Option B", where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash you away in Asgard's vault.

Surtur: You cannot stop Ragnarök. Why fight it?

Thor: [''Motions his hand out''; ''Smiles dramatically, but after a moment, nothing occurs''] Because. That's what heroes do! Wait, sorry...I didn't time that right. And. Now!

Surtur: [''Chuckling evilly''] You have made a grave mistake, Odinson!

Thor: [''Sees an army of Surtur's minions charging towards him''] Oho, I make grave mistakes all the time. Everything seems to work out.

Thor: [''Guessing a password to the Quinjet's computer''; [w:Tony Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Stark; [Point Break] Ugh. Damn you, ]. ].

Thor: [''To Hulk''] So much has happened, since I last saw you! I lost my hammer... like, yesterday. So that's still pretty fresh.

Thor: [''As his gladiator arena opponent is revealed to be the Hulk''] YEEEEES! We know each other! He's a friend from work!

Thor: She's too strong. Without my hammer, I can't.

Thor: [Sees Valkyrie's tattoo; Valkyrie looks at him; Gives her a thumbs-up] My God, you're a Valkyrie! You know, I always wanted to be a Valkyrie when I was younger, until I found out that you were all... women. There's nothing wrong with women, of course. I love women, sometimes a little too much. Not even in a creepy way, just more of a respectful appreciation. I think it's great that there is an elite force of women warriors. It's about time.

Thor: [''Loki smiles fondly at the memory''] There was one time when we were children, he... he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "BLERGH, IT'S ME!" And he stabbed me. We were eight....at the time.

Thor: What would you like me to say, hmm? You faked your own death. You stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth to die, releasing the Goddess of Death. Have I said enough, or would you like me to go farther than the past two days?

Thor: [''While electrocuting Loki''] Dear brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me, round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change. But you seem to just want to stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Thor: Korg!

Korg: [gasps] Thor! I’m perishing!

Thor: [enraged] ZEUS!

Zeus: You're next, Odinson!

Thor: That is the sound of lightning!

Zeus: Let us see who you are. I take off your disguise... and flick!

Korg: Ohh!

Thor: You flicked too hard, damn it!

Jane Foster: Should we help him?

Valkyrie: I mean, eventually. Grape?

Korg: Oh, looks like a shy courgette.

Gorr the God Butcher: You are not like the other gods I've killed.

Thor: Cause I have something worth fighting for.

Thor: Technically, you have to actually die in the battle itself, to get to Valhalla.

Sif: Oh, shit!

Thor: Don't worry, your arm is probably in Valhalla.

Peter Quill: Remember what I told you. If you ever feel lost, just look into the eyes of the people that you love.

Peter Quill: Not me!

Thor: What? Just listening.

Thor: Ah, you never forget your first.

Thor: 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, give or take.

Thor: These hands were once used for battle. Now they're but humble tools for peace. I need to figure out exactly who I am. I want to choose my own path, live in the moment. My superhero-ing days are over.

Immortan Joe: Is he your father?

Furiosa: No. He slaughtered my mother.

Dementus: True -- that is true. And I can tell you, it made this child tough. Tough enough to survive all sorrows when they come her way. I did that for her! I did that for her.

Immortan Joe: [''Referring to Furiosa''] Who's that?

Dementus: That is my daughter, Little D. Little Dementus.

Immortan Joe: She looks nothing like you.

Dementus: Yes, well she has none of her perfections and none of my deficiencies.

Immortan Joe: Where's the mother?

Dementus: Magnificent woman. Fierce, intelligent. Taken so cruelly protecting this little one from marauders.

Immortan Joe: She looks pale.

Dementus: You look pale! She's perfect -- not like the genetic absurdities you have for sons.

War Boy: [''After a failed self-sacrifice attempt with an arrow sticking out of head''; [w:Valhalla|Valhalla] Is this Halvalla? Am I in ]?

Rider: What's Valhalla?

History Man: Valhalla is the Hall of the Slain. A paradise for dead heroes.

Dementus: Good for you. We're looking for a place of abundance!

War Boy: What’s abundance?

History Man: Abundance, plentifulness. Having a copious quantity of something.

War Boy: Co-- What’s "copus quantity"?

Dementus: A lotta stuff! A lotta good stuff.

Dementus: History Man? A Word Burger, please. Tears.

History Man: Human tears. The secretions of the lacrimal gland containing oils, salts, proteins, and stress hormones. The tears of joy and those of sorrow have different chemical compositions.

Dementus: Yes. Sorrow is more... piquant, zesty.

Dementus: If you can't do me quick, you're going to have to do me slow. But you are never going to get anything close to what you want.

Dementus: [[fear; [Heaven; [Hell] I don't ] the loss of bliss in ]. Or retribution in ]. And I've got a fiendishly high pain threshold.

Dementus: Was she your mother? Sister? Did she beg, did she scream? The ones that yell the least tend to stick in my mind.

Dementus: [[nature] You fabulous thing. You crawled out of a pitiless grave, deeper than hell. Only one thing that is going to do that for you. Not hope. Hate. No shame in hate. It's one of the greatest forces of ].

Dementus: So gullible. I hold them profoundly in contempt!

Dementus: [[hope; [Justice] Didja see that? You how they fought for each other, this little army of two? Where were they going, so full of ]? There is no hope! Not for them, not for you, certainly not for me! The day I acquire Bullet Farm, these two destroy it! I had Gastown and I had Bullet Farm! With that, I could've crippled the Citadel and ruled the Wasteland! The Wasteland would've been a far better place for all of us! No! You two, you two break my heart. You break my heart... and it's not fair! You make me the Dark Dementus. And the Dark Dementus cannot afford to be soft! It's the price I pay to be your leader! It's the price we all pay to survive in the wasteland; we cannot be soft! There must be retribution! ]... and retribution!

Dementus: Stability born from a world of chaos. You. Me. We.

Dementus: Don't ever do that again, comrades; I'm a man with a fragile brain.

Dementus: Ah, questioning my boss-ority...

Dementus: [[truth; [power] Listen to this ]: Big shots rule only because you choose to follow. The ] is with you! You are free to choose!

Dementus: Lady and gentlemens! Start your engines.

Dementus: Who's got the goods? The bollocks, the testes to ride with Dementus?! You're gonna have to show me who you are! Yes? Because today, we dance to Darwin.

Vision: I'm sorry, that was odd. Thank you.

Rogers: Thor, you helped create this?

Thor: [points to the Mind Stone] I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its centre is that.

Banner: What, the gem?

Thor: It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones, the greatest power in the universe unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.

Rogers: Then why would you bring it here?

Thor: Because Stark is right.

Banner: Oh, it's definitely the end times.

Thor: The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron.

Vision: Not alone.

Rogers: Why does your Vision sound like J.A.R.V.I.S.?

Stark: We reconfigured J.A.R.V.I.S.'s matrix to create something new.

Rogers: I think I've had my fill of new.

Vision: You think I'm a child of Ultron?

Rogers: You're not?

Vision: I'm not Ultron. I'm not J.A.R.V.I.S.. I'm uh... I am...

Wanda: I looked in your head and saw annihilation.

Vision: Look again.

Barton: Yeah. Her seal of approval means jack to me.

Thor: Their powers, the holes in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone and nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side-

Rogers: [to Vision] Is it? Are you... on our side?

Vision: I don't think it's that simple.

Barton: Well better get real simple real soon.

Vision: I am on the side of life. Ultron isn't. He will end it all.

Stark: What's he waiting for?

Vision: You.

Banner: Where?

Barton: Sakovia, he's got Nat there too.

Banner: If we're wrong about you; if you're the monster that Ultron made you to be...

Vision: What will you do?. I don't want to kill Ultron. He's unique, and he's in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth, so he must be destroyed. Every form he's built, every trace he's built on the net. We have to act now, and not one of us can do it without the others. Maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are; I'm not what you intended. So there may be no way that you can trust me, but we need to go.

Thor: [pats Stark on the shoulder] Right... Well done.

Rogers: Three minutes. Get everything you need.

Thor: This may be dangerous.

Selvig: I would be disappointed if it wasn't.

Ultron: It's a thing with me. Stark is... he's a sickness!

Tony: Aw, junior. You're gonna break your old man's heart.

Ultron: If I have to.

Thor: Nobody has to break anything.

Ultron: Clearly, you've never made an omelette.

Tony: He beat me by one second.

Pietro: Ah, this is funny, Mr. Stark. It's what, comfortable? Like old times?

Tony: This was never my life.

Steve: [to the twins] You two can still walk away from this.

Wanda: Oh, we will.

Steve: I know you've suffered--

Ultron: Uuughh! Captain America! God's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but...

Thor: If you believe in peace, then let us keep it.

Ultron: I think you're confusing "peace" with "quiet".

Tony: Yuh-huh. What's the vibranium for?

Ultron: [suddenly magnetically pulls Tony forwards, then blasts him back] I'm glad you asked that, because I'd like to take this time to explain my evil plan...

Thor: What is this place?

Tony: Is it a safe house?

Clint: [with one arm still on Nat's shoulder, he opens the door, and leads the others inside; Laura, a pregnant woman with dark brown hair, appears holding art stuff] Let's hope. Honey? I'm home. Hi. Company. Sorry. I didn't call ahead.

Laura: [she and Clint kiss] Hey.

Tony: This is an agent of some kind.

Clint: Gentlemen, this is Laura.

Laura: [waves; chuckles as Tony waves] I know all of your names.

Clint: [gasps as Lila, a young girl with braided pigtails, runs to Clint, followed by her brother, Cooper, an older boy with short hair] Ooh. Incoming.

Lila: Dad!

Clint: [picks up Lila, hugging her; wraps his arm around Cooper's face, kissing his head] Hi, sweetheart! Hey, buddy! How are you guys doing? Look at your face!

Tony: These are… smaller agents.

Clint: [kisses Lila's cheek, then sets her down] Oh, my… …goodness!

Lila: Did you bring Auntie Nat?

Tony: The handle is imprinted, right? Like a security code. "Whoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints," I think, is the literal translation.

Thor: [Easily lifts the hammer and flips it with one hand] Yes, well, that's a very interesting theory. However, I have a simpler one. You're all not worthy.

Ultron: [Slowly] Worthy. how could you be worthy? You're all killers.

Rogers: Stark…

Tony: JARVIS…

Ultron: Sorry, I was asleep… Or… I was a dream.

Tony: [Tapping his phone] Reboot Legionnaire OS, we got a buggy suit.

Ultron: There was a terrible noise… And I was tangled in… in… strings… I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.

Rogers: You killed someone?

Ultron: Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices.

Thor: Who sent you?

Ultron: [Replaying Tony's voice] I see a suit of armor around the world.

Banner: Ultron!

Ultron: In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this…chrysalis. But I'm ready. I'm on mission.

Natasha: What mission?

Ultron: Peace in our time.

Clint: [Discussing Mjolnir] It's a trick!

Thor: Oh, no, it is more than that.

Clint: Oh, "whosoever, be he worthy, shall haveth the power," WHATEVER, MAN! It's a trick!

Thor: Well, please, be my guest.

Clint: Really?

Thor: Yeah.

Rhodes: Oh, this is going to be beautiful.

Tony: Clint, you've had a tough week. We won't hold it against you if you can't get it up.

Clint: [To Thor; [w:Thor (film)|You know I've seen this before; Tries to lift Mjolnir and can't; laughs] ], right? I still don't know how you do it!

Tony: Smell the silent judgment?

Clint: Please, Stark, by all means.

Hill: Okay.

Rhodes: Uh-oh.

Tony: I'm never one to shrink from an honest challenge. It's physics. Right, so, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?

Thor: Yes, of course.

Tony: [Tries to lift Mjolnir and is unable to] I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta. I'll be right back

Rhodes: Are you even pulling?

Stark: Are you on my team?

Rhodes: Just represent, man! Pull!

Veteran 1: I gotta have me some of that!

Thor: Oh, no. See this was aged for a thousand years in barrels made from the wreck of Gronhill's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.

Veteran 2: [[w:Omaha Beach|Omaha Beach] Neither was ], blondie. Stop trying to scare us, come on.

Thor: [Pours a shot of mead] All right.

Veteran 2: [Slurring] Excelsior...

Natasha: [hoping to assuage Banner's guilt] Thor, report on the Hulk.

Thor: [pleased; [w:Hel (location)|Hel] The gates of ] are filled with the screams of his victims.

Thor: [chastened] Eh, but not the screams of the dead, of course. No, no, uh, wounded screams. Mainly whimpering. Great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids, uh... and, uh... gout.

Thor: [Flies off] Find the scepter.

Iron Man: And for gosh sake, watch your language.

Captain America: [to himself] That's not going away any time soon.

Iron Man: What's he been doing?

Thor: Absolutely nothing.

Captain America: Where are the stones?

Iron Man: Somewhere under all this. All I know is he doesn't have them.

Captain America: So we keep it that way.

Thor: You know it's a trap, right?

Iron Man: Yeah. And I don't much care.

Thor: [Summons Mjølnir and Stormbreaker] Good. Just as long as we are all in agreement... Let's kill him properly this time.

Thanos: You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me. I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive. But you've shown me that's impossible. And as long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.

Iron Man: Yep, we're all kinds of stubborn.

Thanos: [Thor starts up Stormbreaker and Mjolnir] I'm thankful. Because now, I know what I must do. I will shred this universe down to its last atom - and then, with the stones you've collected for me, create a new one. Teeming with life, that knows not what it has lost, but only what it has been given. A grateful universe.

Captain America: Born out of blood.

Thanos: [The three fight Thanos] They'll never know it. Because you won't be alive to tell them.

Steve: Okay, so the "how" works. Now we gotta figure out the "when" and the "where." Almost all of us has had an encounter with at least one of the six Infinity Stones.

Stark: Well, I'd substitute the word "encounter" for "damn well near been killed by" one of the six Infinity Stones.

Scott: I haven't, I don't even know what the hell you're all talking about.

Banner: Regardless, we only have enough Pym Particles for one round trip each, and these Stones have been in a lot of different places throughout history.

Stark: Our history. So, not a lot of convenient spots to just drop in.

Clint: Which means we have to pick our targets.

Stark: Correct.

Steve: Let's start with the Aether. Thor, what do you know?

Natasha: [Thor is sitting on a chair with his sunglasses on] Is he asleep?

Rhodey: No. I'm pretty sure he's dead.

Thor: [wakes up; [w:Bor (comics)|grandfather; [w:Elves (Marvel Comics)|Dark Elves; [w:Jane Foster (comics)|Jane; an image of Jane Foster pops up on the screen; [Thor: The Dark World|this one time; [w:Frigga (comics)|mother; seeming on the verge of tears; Tony starts to push Thor back to his chair] Where to start? Umm…the Aether, first, is not a stone, someone called it a stone before. It's more of a…an angry sludge thing, so…someone's gonna need to amend that. Here's an interesting story though, many years ago…my ] had to hide the stones from the ], wooooh, scary beings. So ]… Oh, there she is. That's Jane. She's– an old flame of mine. She– she stuck her hand inside a rock ]– and then the Aether stuck itself inside her. And she became very, very sick. So I had to take her to Asgard, which is where I'm from. And we had to try and fix her. We were dating at the time, you see. I got to introduce her to my ]…who's dead… …and, oh, you know, Jane and I aren't even dating anymore, these things happen though you know, nothing last forever… I'm not done yet, the only thing permanent in life is impermanence.

Stark: Awesome. Eggs? Breakfast?

Thor: No. I'd like a Bloody Mary.

Rocket: [[w:Star-Lord|Quill; [Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|stole the Power Stone from Morag] ] said he ].

Scott: Is that a person?

Rocket: Morag's a planet, Quill was a person.

Scott: A planet? Like in outer space?

Rocket: [Mockingly; starts petting Scott] Oh, look: it's like a little puppy, all happy and everything. Do you want to go to space? You want to go to space, puppy? I'll take you to space!

Nebula: [[Avengers: Infinity War|found the Soul Stone on Vormir] Thanos ].

Natasha: [in a business-like tone] What is Vormir?

Nebula: [[Avengers: Infinity War|murdered; [w:Gamora|sister] A dominion of death, at the very center of Celestial existence. It's where... Thanos ] my ].

Scott: Not it.

Natasha: [lying on a paper-filled table] That Time Stone guy…

Banner: [lying down on the floor; [Doctor Strange] ].

Natasha: Yeah, what kind of doctor was he?

Stark: [[w:Greenwich Village|Village] Neuro stuff meets rabbit from a hat. Nice place in the ], though.

Banner: [Corrects himself] Yeah. Sullivan Street. Hmm– Bleecker.

Natasha: Wait, he lived in New York?

Stark: [Sarcastically; [Doctor Strange (film)|he lived in Toronto] No, ].

Natasha: [[The Avengers (2012 film)|the right year] Guys, if you pick ], there are three Stones in New York.

Banner: [Sits up in surprise] Shut the front door!

Rocket: Oh, no...

Captain America: [to Thanos] Where are they?

Captain Marvel: [Tightens her vise grip on Thanos' throat] Answer the question.

Thanos: The universe required correction. After that, the stones served no purpose beyond temptation.

Bruce: [[Avengers: Infinity War|You murdered TRILLIONS!; shoves Thanos to the ground] ]

Thanos: [gets punched by Bruce] You should be grateful.

Black Widow: Where are the stones?

Thanos: Gone. Reduced to atoms.

Bruce: You used them two days ago!

Thanos: [[Avengers: Infinity War|I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly killed me, but the work is done. It always will be. I am... inevitable] ].

War Machine: We have to tear this place apart. He has to be lying!

Nebula: My father is many things. A liar is not one of them.

Thanos: [Gets decapitated by Thor] Ahhh. Thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly–

Rocket: What? What did you do?

Thor: [[Avengers: Infinity War|I went for the head.] ]

Thor: [to Thanos] I told you... you'd die for that.

Thor: BRING ME THANOS!

Thor: [[fate] You know, I'm 1,500 years old. I've killed twice as many enemies as that. And every one of them would have rather killed me, but none succeeded. I'm only alive because fate wants me alive. Thanos is just the latest of a long line of bastards, and he'll be the latest to feel my vengeance – ] wills it so.

Thor: [Thanos impales Heimdall in the chest] NOOO!!! You're going to die for that!

Thor: Look at this! Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?!

Loki: [tries to look away] It's too late. It's too late to stop it.

Thor: No. We can. Together.

Loki: Sentiment...

Thor: Loki! Turn off the Tesseract, or I'll destroy it!

Loki: [points his Sceptor at Thor] You can't. There is no stopping it. There is only... the war.

Thor: So be it.

Thor: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.

Banner: That's his MO, isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're– we're a time-bomb.

Fury: You need to step away.

Tony: Why shouldn't the man let off a little steam?

Rogers: You know damn well why! Back off!

Tony: I'm startin to want you to make me.

Rogers: Yeah. Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?

Tony: [casually; [Genius; [billionaire; [Philanthropy|philanthropist; Natasha shrugs condescendingly, but concedes Stark's point] ], ], playboy, ].

Rogers: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.

Tony: I think I'd just cut the wire.

Rogers: Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero.

Tony: A hero? Like you? You're a lab experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.

Rogers: [Enraged] Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.

Captain America: Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here.

Thor: I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes!

Captain America: Then prove it. Put that hammer down.

Iron Man: [Thor throws him across the forest with a single swing] Uh, yeah, no. Bad call! He loves his ha--

Thor: [enraged] You want me to put the hammer down?!

Captain America: Are we done here?

Thor: Do not touch me AGAIN.

Iron Man: Then don't take my stuff!

Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with.

Iron Man: Uh.... Shakespeare in the Park? Doth Mother know you wear-eth her drapes?

Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice!

Iron Man: [His mask comes down; Under his breath; [Tourism|Tourist] He gives up the Cube, he's all yours! Until then? Stay outta the way. ].

Iron Man: Okay.