Memorable Quotes from Michael Caine
100 quotesRecognizing Personal Limitations and Their Value
Lawrence Jamieson
Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Different Sonic Levels Amidst Helicopter Noise
Capt. Helena Anderson
Won't the noise of the helicopters drown out your sound?
Brad Crane
No. It's an entirely different sonic level.
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Embracing Letting Go in Life's Struggles
Robert Spritzel
This shit life.... you must chuck some things. You must chuck them in this shit life.
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The Burden of Choice in Darkness
Bruce Wayne
People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred Pennyworth
Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman. He can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make - the right choice.
Bruce
Well, today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so".
Alfred
Today, I don't want to. But I did bloody tell you. I suppose they'll lock me up as well, as your accomplice.
[pause]
Bruce
Accomplice? I'm gonna tell them the whole thing was your idea!
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A Reflection on Past Deceptions and Love
Renee Pelagie
Can I impart to you his cruelest trick?
Dr. Royer-Collard
Of course.
Renee Pelagie
Once, long ago in the folly of youth, he made me love him.
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Mishap in a Heist Plan
Charlie Croker
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
[after an attempt at blowing a van open goes wrong]
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The Three Acts of a Magic Trick
Cutter
Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course...it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige".
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The Value of Knowledge in Learning
Freddy Benson
Excuse me. What about me? What do I get?
[omitted from the profit distribution]
Lawrence Jamieson
You are the student. You get knowledge.
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Rejecting Respect and Its Implications
Alfie Elkins
I don't want no bird's respect - I wouldn't know what to do with it.
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A Witty Exchange on Time and Money
Harry
Thought you were going soon.
[playing poker]
Jack Carter
Soon. When you've lost your money. Won't take long.
Harry
Clever sod, aren't you?
Jack Carter
Only comparatively.
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The Burden of Responsibility and Ignorance
Buster
What did she die of?
[digging grave of botched abortion victim]
Dr. Wilbur Larch
She died of secrecy. She died of... ignorance. Homer, did you expect to be responsible for their children, you have to give them the right to decide whether or not to have children. Wouldn't you agree?
Homer Wells
I'm not excepting people to be responsible enough to control themselves to begin with.
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A Challenge in Unexpected Encounters
Salesman
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Garth
He's been here before! This is no ordinary salesman.
Salesman
Brothers McCann?
Hub
Hell, I like me a challenge.
Salesman
Can we talk?
Hub
Come out where we can see you!
Salesman
Put down your guns and I'll come out!
Garth
This guy is good.
[''Grins'']
Hub
I'll cover him- you sneak around. What're you-what? What?
[Walter tugs at his arm]
Walter
Why not see what he's sellin'?
Salesman
Let me just show it to you!
Hub
What the hell for?
Salesman
It's right behind my car!
Walter
Well, what's the good of having all that money if you're never gonna spend it?
Salesman
Trust me!
Garth
Could be the kid has a point.
Hub
Well. We'll see what the man's sellin'. Then we'll shoot im.
Garth
Good plan.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Naming and Identity in The Cider House Rules
Homer Wells
Uh, nobody's named this one yet.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Oh, it's my turn. Henceforth, you shall be Little Dorrit.
Homer Wells
Oh, you don't like that, do you? He's a boy, that's why.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Can't a boy be Dorrit?
Homer Wells
I don't think so.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
You do it.
Homer Wells
OK. Henceforth, you shall be Little Wilbur.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
I'm not crazy about the "Little".
Homer Wells
OK, just Wilbur then.
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A Reflection on Familiarity and Change
Jack Carter
You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.
[To Eric]
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Education Beyond Traditional Systems
General Anton Vincent
Tell her you're sick. You will learn far more from me than you will learn from the US education system.
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Understanding a Frosty Shake Reference
Robert Spritzel
What happened to you?
Dave Spritz
I got hit with a Frosty.
Robert
What is a Frosty?
Dave
It's a shake. From Wendy's.
Robert
Why did you get hit with a shake?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Laughter in Relationships
Alfie Elkins
A married woman, see. Every one of em in need of a good laugh. It don't never strike their husbands. I always say, make a married woman laugh and you're halfway there with her. Of course, it don't work with the single bird. Start you off on the wrong foot. You get one of them laughing, you won't get nothing else.
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Strategic Approach to Bee Control
General Slater
The bees have formed almost a complete circle. Billions of em. And that's what we've been waiting for.
Brad Crane
Waiting for what?
General Slater
The battle plan is to get em all into one area - and then zap em.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Unexpected Kiss in Jaws: The Revenge
Hoagie Newcombe
I have an irresistible urge to kiss you, Ellen Brody.
Ellen Brody
Why?
Hoagie Newcombe
Because... it would not occur to you why.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Law's Impact on Society
Dr. Wilbur Larch
I know it's against the law. I ask you, what has the law ever done for this place?
[discussing the legality of performing abortions]
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Acceptance of Relationship Dynamics
Alfie Elkins
I told Gilda from the start that I ain't the marrying sort. And do you know what? She don't mind. She's a stand-by and she knows it. And any bird that knows its place in this world can be quite content.
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Confrontation at Midnight
Cliff Brumby
Listen, I don't like it when some tough nut comes pushin his way in and out of my house in the middle of the night! Bloody well tell me who sent you!
[blocking Carter's path]
Jack Carter
You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself.
Jack Carter
Goodnight, Mrs. Brumby.
[as he's leaving]
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Resistance Against the Inevitable End
Professor Brand
Do not go gentle into that good ]; Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the ].
[[night; [light]
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Urgent Call for Action in Pursuit
Garth
He's runnin for it!
Hub
I got im!
Garth
Damn. Empty!
Hub
Get ammo; I'll keep him covered!
Mae
Yoo-hoo!
Garth
Huh?
Hub
You send for a hooker?
Mae
Uncle Hub, Uncle Garth- it's me, Mae!
Mae
Mae! Pearl's daughter! And I brought Walter, your nephew!
Garth
Relatives.
Hub
Damn.
[Groans]
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The Consequences of Alcoholism Discussed
Fuzzy
Is your father dead?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Cirrhosis. It's a disease of the liver.
Fuzzy
What, a liver killed him?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
No, alcohol killed him. He drank himself to death.
Fuzzy
But did you know him?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Barely. But it hardly mattered that I knew him.
Fuzzy
Did you know your mother better?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Mm-hmm. She's dead now too. She was a nanny.
Fuzzy
What's a nanny do?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
She looks after other people's children.
Fuzzy
Did she grow up around here?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
No. She was an immigrant.
Fuzzy
What's an immigrant?
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Someone not from Maine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Independence in Life's Journey
Alfie Elkins
It don't do to get dependent on nobody in this life.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Avoid distractions to achieve greater goals.
Lawrence Jamieson
A poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare big game away.
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Debate Over Bee Control and Human Safety
Brad Crane
These bees, General, are of joint concern, and they are killing Americans, without reference as to whether or not they have a serial number and are expected to salute you! So there will be no air drops of any kind until I give the OK.
General Slater
Your OK, huh? Then it is just possible I can persuade you to attack this particular swarm, now that we know where it is. Attack and eliminate it!
Brad Crane
Possibly, if you can explain to me, how you air drop chemicals, without killing the native insect life. If your chemical will kill the African bee, it will also kill the American bee, right?
General Slater
Right. And better a few American bees than a lot of American people!
Brad Crane
That is the point, general. The honey bee is vital to the environment. Every year in America, they pollinate six billion dollars worth of crops. If you kill the bee, you're gonna kill the crop. If you kill the plants, you'll kill the people. No. No, general. There will be no air drop, until we know exactly, what we are dropping, and where, and how. Excuse me.
[Crane storms off]
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Embracing Imperfections in Relationships
Alfie Elkins
She's got a little ginger moustache. But I find I'm quite willing to overlook the odd blemish in a woman, providing she's got something to make up for it. Well, that's what we're all here for, innit - to help each other out in this life.
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The Challenge of Doing the Right Thing
Robert Spritzel
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.
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The Power of Love in the Cosmos
Professor Brand
* Quoting famous lines of the poem "]" by ]
[[w:Do not go gentle into that good night|Do not go gentle into that good night; [Dylan Thomas]
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Consequences of Destruction in Desperate Times
Brad Crane
General, if you use that, nothing will grow out there for the next ten years.
General Slater
Why worry about shaving when somebody's going to cut your head off?
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A Lucky Encounter with a Lion
Garth
Howdy, Stan.
Hub
You know, you're lucky, Stan. Lucky the lion got to you before *we* did.
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The Value of Choice and Responsibility
Homer Wells
Dear Dr. Larch. Thank you for your doctor's bag, although it seems that I will not have the occasion to use it, barring some emergency, of course. I am not a doctor. With all due respect to your profession, I'm enjoying my life here. I'm enjoying being a lobsterman and orchardman. In fact, I've never enjoyed myself as much. The truth is, I want to stay here. I believe I'm being of some use.
[voiceover]
Dr. Wilbur Larch
My Dear Homer: I thought you were over you adolescence - the first time in our lives when we imagine we have something terrible to hide from those who love us. Do you think it's not obvious to us what's happened to you? You've fallen in love, haven't you? By the way, whatever you're up to can't be too good for your heart. Then again, it's the sort of condition that could be made worse by worrying about it, so don't worry about it.
[voiceover]
Homer Wells
Dear Dr. Larch, What I'm learning her may not be as important as what I learned from you, but everything is new to me. Yesterday, I learned how to poison mice. Field mice girdle an apple tree; pine mice kill the roots. You use poison oats and poison corn. I know what you have to do. You have to play God. Well, killing mice is as close as I want to come to playing God.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Homer, here in St. Cloud's, I have been given the opportunity of playing God or leaving practically everything up to chance. Men and women of conscience should sieze those moments when it's possible to play God. There won't be many. Do I interfere when absolutely helpless women tell me they simply can't have an abortion - that they simply must go through with having another and yet another orphan? I do not. I do not even recommend. I just give them what they want. You are my work of art, Homer. Everything else has been just a job. I don't know if you have a work of art in you, but I know what your job is: you're a doctor.
Homer Wells
I'm not a doctor.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
You're going to replace me, Homer. The board of trustees is looking for my replacement.
Homer Wells
I can't replace you. I'm sorry.
Dr. Wilbur Larch
Sorry"? I'm not sorry. Not for anything I've done. I'm not even sorry that I love you. I think we may have lost him to the world.
[Speaking to the nurse]
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The Superiority of Books Over Human Company
Dr. Royer-Collard
You prefer a book to your husband's company? Well no wonder, I'm only flesh and blood - that's no match for the printed page!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Irreplaceable Relationships
Alfie Elkins
If you lose a bird you can always replace her. But with a child it's different.
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The Art of Deception in Magic Tricks
Cutter
Every magic trick consists of three parts, or acts. The first part is called the pledge, the magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called the turn, the magician takes the ordinary something and makes it into something extraordinary. But you wouldn't clap yet, because making something disappear isn't enough. You have to bring it BACK. Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Charlie Croker's Moment of Inspiration
Charlie Croker
Hang on a minute, lads; I've got a great idea.
[when the bus is hanging over a cliff and the gold is sliding away; also the film's last lines]
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Misunderstandings in Bruce Wayne's Return
Bruce Wayne
Must've lost my ticket.
Valet Attendant
Your wife said you were taking a cab home.
Bruce
My wife?
Alfred
Just you, sir? Don't worry, Master Wayne. Takes a little time to get back in a swing of things.
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Debating the Fate of a Child
Hub
Damn. She doesn't deserve that kid. Maybe we'll get a lawyer.
Garth
No judge is gonna take a kid away from his mother, give im to two old bachelor uncles.
Hub
Well, maybe she'll sell im to us. How much money we got?
Garth
Hub- there's nothin we can do. He's gone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire and Temptation in Intimate Moments
Jack Carter
I fancy you. I wish I was touching you - right now - making love to you. I want - to stroke you - and kiss you all over. Where are you?
[on the phone with Anna]
Anna
I'm in the bedroom. My black underwear.
Jack Carter
The sexy, silk ones? Take your bra off.
Anna
Stop it, darling.
Jack Carter
Now. Go on. Now. Now, hold them - gently. Slowly. Imagine it's me. When we're in South America - we'll make love in the sun. Roll over. Make love again - and again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Changing Nature of Love
Alfie Elkins
What I loved once and what I love now are two different things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disappointment in Luxury Accommodations
Victor
This is not an ocean front suite, in Marbella. Did you notice that?
Victor
There's no
Victor
There are no flowers or champagne from the management. I don't, I don't see a Swiss chocolate on my pillow.
Victor
My masseuse is not at the door.
Victor
And I am, fucking dying, Alex!
Alex
Take it easy, Vic.
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A Visit to the Deceased Relatives
Eric Paice
So, what're you doing then? On your holidays?
Jack Carter
No, I'm visiting relatives.
Eric Paice
Oh, that's nice.
Jack Carter
It would be... if they were still living.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teamwork and Leadership in Challenging Situations
Charlie Croker
It's a very difficult job and the only way to get through it is we all work together as a team. And that means you do everything I say.
[after introducing everybody and laying out the plan]
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Reflection on Change and Memory
Ghost of Christmas Past
Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge
They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past
You changed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Rise of Bane from Darkness
Alfred Pennyworth
If you're seriously considering going back out there, you should hear the rumors surrounding Bane.
Bruce Wayne
I'm all ears.
Alfred
There is a prison in a more ancient part of the world. A pit, where men are thrown, to suffer, and die. But sometimes a man rises from the darkness. Sometimes the darkness sends something back.
Bruce
Bane?
Alfred
Bane. Born and raised in hell on Earth.
Bruce
Born in a prison?
Alfred
No one knows why, or how he escaped. But they do know that once he did, he was trained under Ra's Al Ghul, your mentor.
Bruce
Bane was a member of the League of Shadows?
Alfred
And then he was excommunicated. And any man who is too extreme for Ra's Al Ghul is not to be trifled with.
Bruce
I didn't realize I was known for trifling with criminals.
Alfred
That was then. And you can strap up your leg and put your mask back on. But that doesn't make you what you were.
Bruce
If this man is everything that you say he is, then this city needs me.
Alfred
The city needs Bruce Wayne. Your resources, your knowledge. It doesn't need your body, or your life. That time has passed.
Bruce
You're afraid that if I go back out there, I'll fail.
Alfred
No. I'm afraid that you want to.
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A Tense Exchange About Readiness and Firearms
Con McCarty
Jack, don't you think you ought to get dressed first.
[to a naked Jack, who is pointing a gun]
Jack Carter
Out!
Con McCarty
Come on Jack, put it away. You know you're not going to use it.
Peter the Dutchman
The gun he means!
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Martyrdom Should Be for a Higher Cause
Dr. Royer-Collard
If you're going to martyr yourself, do it for God, not a chambermaid.
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Conflict Over Car and Responsibility
Ralph
Hub, I don't see why you have to drive, it's my car!
Hub
Quit whinin'.
Ralph
We find that kid he's gonna get a piece of my mind.
Garth
There he is.
Hub
Lawyer! Stay in the car!
Garth
Hub, come on.
Hub
No, not me. You-
[hesitant]
Garth
Hub. Get out of the car. Planning your next move? Where you goin'?
[Garth and Hub go over and sit beside Walter]
Walter
Here. Area code 406, Montana.
Garth
How come you're not headin to Fort Worth, where your mum is?
Walter
She's not there. She lied. Again.
Garth
Listen, kid, we know you got your heart set on goin to Montana, but... it's late. Hub, help me out here.
Hub
Why? Sounds like his mind's made up. Good luck in Montana, kid.
Garth
We got better maps than that one at the house, right Hub?
Hub
Yeah, man needs a good map, that's for sure.
Walter
I've been to the orphan home before. I don't wanna go back.
Hub
Damn it, kid. It ain't our fault you got a lousy damn mother.
[Garth gives him another look]
Walter
I guess I should get going. Which way is North?
Hub
I'll say one thing for this kid, he sure pisses off the relatives!
Garth
Listen, kid, do us a favor. If you come back to the house and stay awhile... Why, our relatives are going to hate it. I bet they hate it so much, they go away and leave us all the hell alone.
Hub
It's crazy enough, it just might work.
Garth
Come on, kid. Help us out here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Heartbreak Amidst Excitement
Garth
Looks like he's going to need stitches.
Hub
Yeah, a lot of damn stitches.
Walter
What happened to her?
Garth
Looks like her heart gave out in all the excitement.
Walter
Look. I think she's smiling.
Garth
Yeah, I guess she died happy.
Hub
She died with her boots on, that's the main thing.
Garth
Protecting her cub.
Walter
She was a real lion, wasn't she? There at the end. A real jungle lion. A real Africa lion.
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Determined Quest for Truth and Justice
Jack Carter
You bloody whore! Frank was too careful to die like that. Now, who killed him?
Margaret
I don't know nothing!
Jack Carter
Listen, the only reason I came back to this crap house - was to find out who did it. And I'm not leaving until I do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Threat of Invading Swarms
Brad Crane
Look, what I do for a living isn't important. What is important, critical, is that there are probably other invading swarms and what these bees did here, they can do again, all over the Southwest and, ultimately, all over the country.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Interrogation About Kingsman and Harry Hart
Eggsy
Who the fuck are you? Where am I?
The Interrogator
This knife can save your life.
Eggsy
Fuck!
[Struggling to get out of the ropes]
The Interrogator
My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. What the fuck is Kingsman? And who is Harry Hart?
Eggsy
I don't know who the fuck that is! Shit!
The Interrogator
Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!
Eggsy
Fuck! Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
The Interrogator
Hey, Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
Eggsy
FUCK YOOOOOOU!
Harry
Congratulations. Bloody well done.
Eggsy
How'd the others do?
Harry
Roxy passed with flying colours. Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
Eggsy
Yeah. Alright.
The Interrogator
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
Charlie
No it fucking isn't! Shit! I'll tell you what you want, please! Chester King's Arthur! Arthur's head of the secret spy agency! It's called Kingsman! Get me out of here!
The Interrogator
Thank you, Charlie. Much appreciated.
Charlie
No, that wasn't the fucking deal! FUUUUUUUCK!
Arthur
I've had such high hopes for you. You're a bloody disgrace.
Charlie
I'm so sorry. Please untie me.
Arthur
Untie yourself.
Charlie
Arth- Arthur, please. Shit. Anyone!
Merlin
Galahad, Percival, congratulations. Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. As tradition allows, you will have 24 hours to spend with them. Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. From now on, there are no safety nets. Understood?
Merlin
Good. Dismissed.
Merlin
Charlie. Time to go home.
Charlie
Fuck you! Fucking Dad's going to hear about this!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Trust and Preparation
Angier
I thought you said I'd have to get my hands dirty.
Cutter
Maybe someday you will; I just needed to know that you could.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Setting Conditions for a New Living Arrangement
Walter
If I'm gonna live here, there's gonna be some conditions.
Hub
Conditions?
Walter
No more dangerous stuff. No more fighting teenagers. No airplanes. More vegetables, less meat.
Hub
What do you expect us to die of? Old age?
[''Incredulous'']
Garth
Well... welcome home.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation and Sanity in a Madhouse
Renee Pelagie
Desperation has driven me past etiquette, all the way to frenzy.
Dr. Royer-Collard
My schedule is not the subject to the whims of lunatics.
Renee Pelagie
I beg to differ, you work in a madhouse. Your every walking moment is governed by the insane.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perception of Beauty Through the Heart
Alfie Elkins
Do you know, I'm beginning to think she was beautiful. After all, it ain't through the eyes that you feel beauty, it's how the heart hungers for something that makes it beautiful.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertain Confidence in Dangerous Situations
Hoagie Newcombe
Hang on to your socks, lads.
Jake
Hey! Wait a minute, man! You sure you know how to do this?
Hoagie Newcombe
Of course not! What kind of pilot do you think I am?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Battle Against Bees After Fifteen Years
Brad Crane
We've been fighting a losing battle against the insects for fifteen years, but I never thought I'd see the final face-off in my lifetime. And I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bees and Plastic: A Troubling Discovery
Brad Crane
Plastic. It's a piece of a plastic cup. There are pieces all around here. Look. Look, there. There. There.
[Holding it up; He starts pointing out the other fragments]
General Slater
What's so significant about that?
Brad Crane
I'm afraid to speculate. But, I think, the bees, did this.
General Slater
Are you saying these bees eat plastic?
Brad Crane
No, no.But I'm wondering. Your American Honeybee has a weak mouth, that couldn't even break the skin, of a grape. But it looks like this species, is tearing up, plastic cups, possibly to line their hives. Now, if this is true, they didn't, just get here. I mean, the invasion, didn't, just now begin. They have been here some time. Breeding. Increasing.
General Slater
So?
Brad Crane
Well, suppose these bees, are using plastic, to insulate their hives.
General Slater
No bee is that smart.
Brad Crane
Suppose these African bees are.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Exchange About Trust and Threats
Edna
What's that gun doing in your room? Suppose I phone the police, told them there's a bloke in my hotel... who's planning to shoot somebody?
Jack Carter
You wouldn't do that.
Edna
How do you know I wouldn't?
Jack Carter
Cause I know you wear purple underwear.
Edna
What's that supposed to mean?
Jack Carter
Think about it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Art of Deception in Magic
Cutter
* Opening narration
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Beauty in Relationships
Alfie Elkins
Mind you, she came over quite beautified for a while, particularly during the early months. And I told her: I said "Blimey, girl, you ain't as ugly as I thought".
[about Gilda's appearance while she is pregnant]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Caretaker Responsibilities
Dr. Wilbur Larch
In other parts of the world young men leave home and travel far and wide in search of a promising future. Their journeys are often fueled by dreams of triumphing over evil, finding a great love, or the hopes of fortunes easily made. Here in St. Cloud's not even the decision to get off the train is easily made, for it requires an earlier, more difficult decision - add a child to your life, or leave one behind. The only reason people journey here is for the orphanage. I came as a physician to the abandoned children and unhappily pregnant women. I had hoped to become a hero. But in St. Cloud's there was no such position. In the lonely, sordid world of lost children, there were no heroes to be found. And so I became the caretaker of many, father of none. Well, in a way, there was one. His name was Homer Wells.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation to Adventure
Alexander Anderson
Who's up for an adventure?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Pet Ownership Discussion
Walter
So can I keep him? I'll look after him and take care of him and feed him and everything! I never had a pet of my very own before.
Hub
So kid, you want to take care of it, nurse it back to health?
Hub
Good. Then we shoot it.
Garth
That's some lion you bought.
Hub
That's some garden seeds you bought.
Walter
Don't worry, they're not as bad as they seem right at first.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question About Thoughts and Intentions
Lawrence Jamieson
Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
Freddy Benson
No!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discussion on Unconventional Justice Methods
Bruce Wayne
That bandit, in the forest in Burma...did you catch him?
Alfred Pennyworth
Yes.
Bruce
How?
Alfred
We burned the forest down.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Rebel's Determination to Persist
General Anton Vincent
I'm a rebel, and I go on until someone stops me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertain Victory and Hope for Survival
Capt. Helena Anderson
Did we finally beat them? Or is this just a temporary victory?
Brad Crane
I - I don't know. But we did gain time. If we use it wisely, and if we're lucky, the world might just survive.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Betrayal and Deception Among Family Ties
Walter
What kind of greedy, no-good scum would turn in Uncle Hub for money?
Garth
Well, I would.
[''Leans in and grins'']
Walter
Ah, it was a trick.
[''eyes widening with realization'']
Garth
Yeah, it was a trick.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for Meaning in Life's Pursuits
Alfie Elkins
You know what? When I look back on my little life and the birds I've known, and think of all the things they've done for me and the little I've done for them, you'd think I've had the best of it along the line. But what have I got out of it? I've got a bob or two, some decent clothes, a car, I've got me health back and I ain't attached. But I ain't got me peace of mind - and if you ain't got that, you ain't got nothing. I dunno. It seems to me if they ain't got you one way they've got you another. So what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself - what's it all about? Know what I mean?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Whistling in the Car: A Moment of Defiance
Jack Carter
I'm going to sit in the car and whistle Rule Britannia.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Reality Behind Illusions and Sacrifices
Cutter
Take a minute to consider your achievement. I once told you about a sailor who described drowning to me.
Angier
Yes, he said it was like going home.
Cutter
I was lying. He said it was agony.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scrooge's Reluctance to Acknowledge Christmas
Bob Cratchet
Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet
Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge
8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet
If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge
And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet
Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge
The entire day?
Bookkeepers
Oh, no! No! It was the frog's idea!
[all talking at once]
Bob Cratchet
If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other businesses will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge
It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Appearances in Alfie's Life
Alfie Elkins
I've never told her that I love her - except at those times when you've got to say something for appearance's sake.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Persistent Noisemaking
Lawrence Jamieson
You've been banging on your pots again, haven't you? I've told you... if you keep on doing it, you won't have any pots left.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Avenge and Connection: A Deep Rivalry
Dylan
What do you want?
Walter Mabry
We need you to understand something very important. You and I are mirror images. You see, because like you, I share a very deep connection with my father. And like you, I'll stop at nothing to avenge any wrongs done to him. You know the only difference between your father and mine? No? Well, guess what? Mine's still alive. Get him up.
[to his henchmen]
Arthur Tressler
So... this is the man who's spent a lifetime plotting against me. I wouldn't have known your face if it had been on a billboard outside my bedroom window. And you've spent, what? 30 years... thinking about mine?
Dylan
When my father died, your insurance company denied my mother her claims. And she died a pauper!
Arthur
I wouldn't have even known who your mother was! She was a digit, a nanobyte in a stream of data.
Dylan
Because nothing is personal to you, and everyone and everything is just a number, isn't that so?
Arthur
That is where you're wrong, Mr. Rhodes. Once you've made yourself known, it became very clear, very personal. My son...
Dylan
Yeah; the sociopath.
[referring to Walter Mabry]
Arthur
The funny thing is, I have seven so-called legitimate children. Sniveling, snobbish, selfish, stupid runts. I have one illegitimate child who's a lot like me. The point is, he desperately wants something very much, and like any good parent, I will stop at nothing to get it for him. Your Horsemen have it. You will turn it and them over to us, now.
Dylan
I'm sorry, but the answer is no.
Arthur
Then I'm afraid you must die.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Trust and Self-Care
Jack Carter
I'm off tomorrow, so I don't suppose I'll be seeing you again. Here. Go and get your hair done.
[Pulls out some large banknotes, giving some to Doreen]
Doreen Carter
Thanks!
Jack Carter
Be good... And don't trust boys.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism Amidst Despair and Humor
Jasper
So, Human Project is having this dinner and all the wisest men in the world are there...
Theo
Human Project." Why do people believe this crap? You know, even if these people existed with these facilities in secret locations... Fuck me, that's strong. Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, it doesn't matter. Too late. The world went to shit. You know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for fuck's sake.
Jasper
I was just trying to tell a joke, man.
Theo
Oh, I'm sorry, go on.
Jasper
No, I'm not tellin it now!
Theo
No, c'mon Jasper, go on!
Jasper
No, fuck it! I'm not tellin it to you!
Theo
C'mon, I'm sorry!
Jasper
OK, the Human Project gives this great big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They're tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery, why are women infertile? Why can't we make babies anymore? Some of them say it's genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution. Same old, same old. Anyway, in the corner, this Englishman's sitting. He hasn't said a word. He's just tucking into his dinner. So they decide to ask him. They say, "Well, why do you think we can't make babies anymore?" And he looks up at them, and he's chewing on this great big wing, and he says, "I haven't the faintest idea," he said. "But this stork is quite tasty, isn't it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Driving Differences in The Italian Job
Charlie Croker
Just remember this - in this country they drive on the wrong side of the road.
[just before the operation]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Desperation and Complexity in Conflict
Bruce Wayne
Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They've crossed a line.
Alfred Pennyworth
You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation, and in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.
Bruce
Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. We just need to figure out what he's after.
Alfred
With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man you don't fully understand either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones, but their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones, but in six months, we never met anyone who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce
So why steal them?
Alfred
Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism and Puns in Ghostly Encounter
Jacob Marley
Why do you doubt your senses?
Ebenezer Scrooge
Because a little thing can affect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes, there's more gravy than of grave about you!
Robert Marley
More of gravy than of grave"?
Jacob Marley
What a terrible pun! Where do you get those jokes?
Robert Marley
Leave the comedy to the bears, Ebenezer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Faith and Chance in a Changing World
Jasper
Julian and Theo met among a million protesters in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.
Kee
This is him?
[picks up a photo]
Jasper
Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.
Miriam
Praxis"? What happened?
Jasper
Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices?
Kee
Baby's got Theo's eyes.
Jasper
Yeah.
Miriam
Oh, boy. That's terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason.
Jasper
That, I don't know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Intelligence and Motives in Nature's Creatures
Brad Crane
Are you endowing these bees with human motives? Like saving their fellow bees from captivity, or seeking revenge on Mankind?
General Slater
I always credit my enemy, no matter what he may be, with equal intelligence.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Knowledge and Intentions
Arthur Tressler
What is your role with them?
Thaddeus Bradley
Role?
Arthur Tressler
Yes, you seem to know everything about them. What they're gonna do, where they're gonna be.
Thaddeus Bradley
If it makes you feel any better, this wasn't about you.
Arthur Tressler
Please tell me why this was not about me.
Thaddeus Bradley
This is a magic trick, Mr Tressler. Played out on a global scale. You, sir, are the "abracadabra", the distraction, while they set up the real trick.
Arthur Tressler
I was a $140 million distraction?
Thaddeus Bradley
Yes. And that very ego, which got you involved with them in the first place, is what keeps you from seeing that.
Arthur Tressler
You know-
Thaddeus Bradley
I can destroy you", yes, I know. Well, you won't. And you won't destroy them. Whatever this grand trick is, it was designed a long time ago, and I believe that what's about to follow, is really going to amaze. So I suggest you sit back and enjoy your front row seat. You paid quite a lot of good money for it.
Arthur Tressler
Whatever you stand to make...I'll double it, if you expose them now, and destroy them.
Thaddeus Bradley
I stand to make five million.
Arthur Tressler
Am I flinching?
Thaddeus Bradley
No, you're not.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding One's Condition and Its Implications
Homer Wells
I don't need this. I know about my condition.
[giving back an X-ray that Dr. Larch gave to him]
Dr. Wilbur Larch
It's your heart. You ought to take it with you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Persistence of Attraction
Alfie Elkins
If a bird ain't got you one way, she's got you another.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Fair Play
Charlie Croker
You wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you?
[when Camp Freddie accosts him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scrooge's Plea for Redemption and Change
Ebenezer Scrooge
Must we return to this place? There is something else I must know, is that not true? Spirit, I know what I must ask. I fear to, but I must. Who was the wretched man whose death brought so much glee and happiness to others?
Ebenezer Scrooge
Answer me one more question: Are these the shadows of things that will be, or are they the shadows of things that may be only?
Ebenezer Scrooge
These events can be changed... A life can be made right.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge"?! Oh, please, Spirit, no! Hear me! I–I'm not the man I was! Why would you show me this if I was past all hope? I–I will honor Christmas and try to keep it all the year. I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future. I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me. Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone. Oh, Spirit...Please speak to me!
[gasps and breaks down; Goes back to the Ghost, crying; Gestures to his gravestone; Falls to his knees, grasping the Ghost's robe desperately]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dark Reunion of Old Friends
Jack Carter
You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. They're still the same. Pissholes in the snow.
Eric Paice
Still got your sense of humour
Jack Carter
Yes, I retained that, Eric.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Frequency of Visits
Margaret
I can't help the way I am.
Jack Carter
Why'd you see him so regular?
Margaret
Once a week.
Jack Carter
I call that regular.
Margaret
He was gentlemanly. I like that.
Jack Carter
Once a week, you like a gentleman, do you?
Margaret
Look! I'm me, right? We are what we are, like it or not!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Past Relationships
Jasper
Any girls?
Theo
No.
Jasper
What about the one we had lunch with? Lauren?
Theo
Lorna. That was ages ago.
Jasper
I liked her. What happened?
Theo
She decided to renounce.
Jasper
Renouncers? Are those the ones that kneel down for a month for salvation?
Theo
No. They're the Repenters. The Renouncers flagellate themselves for the forgiveness of humanity.
Jasper
Oh, right. Dating ain't what it used to be, is it, amigo?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bathroom Request in Conversation
Freddy Benson
Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?
[Sitting at the dinner table]
Lawrence Jamieson
Of course you may.
Freddy Benson
Thank you.
[after a long pause, and with relief]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Managing Temptation in Relationships
Alfie Elkins
When a married woman gets too hot on, it's time to cool off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invasion by a Lethal Enemy
Brad Crane
We have been invaded, by an enemy far more lethal than any human force.
[About the killer bees]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Abundance of Bees
Brad Crane
Bees, bees, what a lot of bees.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Sacrifice and Deception
Cutter
* Closing narration
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Pint of Bitter in a Glass
Jack Carter
A pint of bitter in a thin glass.
[snaps fingers as barman walks away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.