Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - The Nature of Tall Tales
Paul Bunyan:
That's a tall tale. That's a tall tale for sure.
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - Paul Bunyan's Boastful Declaration of Strength
Paul Bunyan: [deflects a bullet with his axe]
I'm Paul Bunyan! I'm 300 pounds of raging fury! You're in trouble now! Don't point your little gun at me, you sissy! I can out-eat, out-swing any one of you! I'm Paul Bunyan!
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - Warning About Trouble Ahead
Paul Bunyan: [about Daniel]
He's bad news, Bill. In britches.
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - Protecting Babe's Feelings in Tall Tale
Paul Bunyan:
You watch your mouth, Pecos! Babe's very sensitive.
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - Paul Bunyan Reflects on Logging's Impact
Paul Bunyan: [[wikipedia:Log_flume|log flume; [wikipedia:Grindstone|grindstone]
I told Sam, "They're not loggers, they're butchers! Them and their fancy machines, cuttin down everything in sight, the weak with the strong. A sapling won't get to full growth". Said, "Nothing will ever sprout again". You know what Sam said? He said I was behind the times. Me. Paul Bunyan. The man who invented logging. Who thought up the double-bladed axe, huh? Me. Who dreamed up the ]? Me again. Don't think it's easy! My head hurt for days, coming up with that one! What about the ]? Flapjack contest! Wedge cutting! Three point stance! Me, me, me, me!
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - A Humorous Take on Pecos' Appearance
Paul Bunyan:
Pecos? Let me take a gander at ya... You steamin pile of buffalo puckey. You're still ugly.
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Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventure - Defiance Against Greed and Injustice
Paul Bunyan:
Never enough for you termites, is it? Not enough you swindled me out of my camp, robbed me of my trade. Now you want my woods, too. You want it all! I'm makin my stand! At least, if I go down swinging, I go down like a man!
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Simon Birch - Discussion of Church Activities and Beliefs
Rev. Russell:
I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss some of the upcoming activities on the church calendar.
Simon Birch:
Here we go.
Ben Goodrich: [Quietly]
What's wrong, Simon?
Simon Birch:
Who knows what God thinks about current events?
Rev. Russell:
Does someone have a question?
Ben Goodrich:
Uh, no, sir - um, your honor, no,...Father, thank you. No, sir.
Rev. Russell:
It's always nice to see new faces in the congregation. I'd like to invite them downstairs to join my wife and children, and myself for coffee and doughnuts downstairs after the service.
Simon Birch:
What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?
Grandmother Wenteworth: [Quietly]
Simon, you better be quiet!
Rev. Russell:
Simon, is there something you'd like to share with us?
Simon Birch:
I said, "What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell:
They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and, uh, and discuss the upcoming activities.
Simon Birch:
Who ever said the church needs a continental breakfast?
Rev. Russell:
-Simon!
Simon Birch:
I doubt that God is interested in our church activities.
Rev. Russell:
-Simon!
Simon Birch:
-If God has made the church bake sale a priority, then I'd say we're all in a lot of trouble.
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Dangerous Beauty - Perspective on Male Privilege and Vulnerability
Maffio Venier:
It must be interesting to be in a room full of men, most of whom you've seen with their pants down.
Veronica Franco:
Puts it all in some kind of perspective.
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Beethoven - Animal Experiment Preparation Scene
Vernon:
Nice dog, huh, Doc? He's perfect for the animal experiment.
Dr. Varnick:
Get everything ready. I'll be by in the morning. We'll do the test on him first thing.
Harvey:
Sure thing.
Harvey:
Okay, good doggie. Good doggie. OK, close the door. Close the door.
Vernon:
I've got him. Come on!
Harvey:
Good doggie. Come here, doggie. Come on!
Harvey:
Okay, I got him. Good, good. I got him. Come on, doggie.
Vernon:
Not you! Not you! The dog!
Vernon:
Put him in. Okay, you got him? In the cage. Get in.
Vernon:
SHUT UP!! There. Doc will work on him first thing in the morning, and then he's one dead puppy.
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Beethoven - Disagreement Over Teasing Dogs
Harvey:
I really don't like it when you tease the dogs.
Vernon:
What are you, some kind of animal lover?
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Year One - Humorous Misunderstanding in Ritual Context
High Priest:
Rub me with oil..
Oh:
With my hands?
high priest:
No, with your nutsack, of course with your hands.
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Bulworth - Concerns About Bulworth's Unconventional Campaign Strategy
Bulworth:
What is it exactly you're concerned about, Murphy?
Dennis Murphy:
I'm concerned that you stood up in front of three hundred people in a black church and told them that they were not a factor and never would be as long as we remain in the pocket of the insurance lobby! I'm concerned that you went to a fundraiser in Beverly Hills and told various leaders of the entertainment industry that they make a lousy product, and since many of them also happen to be Jewish, you decided the PRUDENT thing to do would be to MOCK their Jewish paranoia! I'm concerned that we are in an after-hours club in Compton on the eve of the most important event of the campaign swing, where God knows how much illegal activity is taking place and YOU are SMOKING MARIJUANA! Now, Senator - I work for you. You call the shots. But I will be able to do my job so much better if you will just simply tell me ... what is this new strategy? Just tell me a little bit!
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Bicentennial Man - The Miracle of Love and Connection
Rupert Burns:
What do they say? Andrew Martin: That you can lose yourself. Everything. All boundaries. All time. That two bodies can become so mixed up, that you don't know who's who or what's what. And just when the sweet confusion is so intense you think you're gonna die... you kind of do. Leaving you alone in your separate body, but the one you love is still there. That's a miracle. You can go to heaven and come back alive. You can go back anytime you want with the one you love. Rupert Burns: And you want to experience that? Andrew Martin: Oh, yes, please. Rupert Burns: So do I.
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Lake Placid - Crocodiles as Judges in Ancient Malenesia
Kelly Scott:
Did you want to be killed by it?
Hector Cyr:
You think I'm that nuts?
Kelly Scott:
Hector, what you just did, there had to be some sort of death wish going on.
Hector Cyr:
In ancient Malenesia people suspected of crime's would be thrown to the crocodiles. Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge.
Kelly Scott:
Oh, so that was you wanting to be judged out there?
Hector Cyr:
Maybe I was, and so what? Is that too arbitrary? Better to be measured by my wealth? Better for me to get my self-esteem looking into the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket? There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes. There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes...
Kelly Scott:
Jesus, Hector cut the shit.
Hector Cyr:
Aw, fuck it.
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Lake Placid - Crocodiles and Hidden Information in Literature
Sheriff Hank Keough:
I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr:
Well, they conceal information like that in books.
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Lake Placid - Unexpected Arrival of an Asian Crocodile
Kelly Scott:
His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile.
Sheriff Hank Keough:
Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?
Hector Cyr:
Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.
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Flatliners - Exploring Hope and Fear in Flatliners
Randy Steckle: [while David Labraccio is flatlining]
What is it that hangs in the air, palpably? Is it hope? Is it fear? Is it the musky mist of death?
Joe Hurley:
Shut up, Steckle.
Randy Steckle:
No, you shut up.
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Flatliners - Humorous Reflection on a Near-Death Experience
Randy Steckle:
Good thing I didn't flatline. My 350-pound babysitter would be chasing me for the half-eaten pastrami sandwich I stole from her.
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Flatliners - Reflections on Fear and Immortality
Randy Steckle: [dictating a diary entry into his tape recorder; long pause]
Halloween morning. Rotting pumpkins. Burning leaves. Black cats mating like rats in the alley. It was as if . . . it were as if we felt no fear, as if we were already dead and had nothing to lose by dying. Or perhaps it was because we had lived life so well, and loved life so much, that we fancied ourselves immortal, overwhelming the powers that be with the force of our passion for science. Or maybe we were just fucked in the head.
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Flatliners - Ethics in Medical Education and Peer Relationships
Randy Steckle: [talking about the experiment]
I did not come to medical school to murder my class mates no matter how deranged they might be.
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The Three Musketeers - Amidst Chaos, a Toast to Life
D'Artagnan:
They're shooting at us!
Porthos: [Stands up with a foaming bottle]
Champagne?
Athos:
We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos!
Porthos: [Goes back down to find a bottle of wine]
You're right. Something red.
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The Three Musketeers - Conflict Timing Among the Musketeers
Porthos:
Athos, you cannot fight this boy.
Athos:
Why not?
Porthos:
I'm fighting him.
D'Artagnan:
Not until one o'clock.
Aramis:
I have a duel with him, too.
D'Artagnan:
Not until two o'clock.
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The Three Musketeers - The Power of Words and Impressions
Aramis: [to Porthos]
Only the wrong words are a complete waste of time. The right words can leave a more lasting impression than a thousand of Porthos kisses.
Barmaid:
Not likely.
Aramis: [to barmaid; kisses Barmaid's hand]
Shall I demonstrate? As morning hues of sunswept fire caress your passioned face, alone with thee a pure desire to worship untold grace. My soul would cry in silent prayer to an hour swept apart. Your essence warms the evening air as I dance into your heart.
D'Artagnan:
Shakespeare.
Aramis:
Aramis.
Porthos:
Fleeting.
Barmaid:
It was beautiful.
Aramis: [Barmaid gets up and kisses Aramis]
Oh, thank you.
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The Three Musketeers - Porthos' Humorous Take on Rochefort Cheese
Porthos:
Rochefort. Isn't that a smelly kind of cheese?
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The Three Musketeers - Embracing Arrogance and Boldness
Porthos: [to D'Artagnan]
You, boy, are arrogant, hot-tempered and entirely too bold. I like that. It reminds me of me.
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2012 - Impending Impact Warning and Survival Urgency
Ark AI:
Impact warning. Thirty degrees west. Forty-five degrees east. Target elevation, 29,035 feet.
Carl Anheuser:
Twenty-nine thousand feet? What the hell is at 29,000 feet!?
Captain Michaels: [[w:Mount Everest|Mount Everest]
We're headed straight for the north face of ], Mr. Anheuser and if we do not start our engines, we will not survive the impact.
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2012 - The Challenge of Human Civilization
Adrian Helmsley:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dr. Adrian Helmsley, chief science adviser to the late President Wilson.
German Chancellor:
Could you please turn up the volume, Mr. Hoffmann?
Helmsley:
I know we've all been forced to make difficult decisions to save our human civilization, but to be human means to care for each other and civilization means to work together to create a better life. If that's true, then there's nothing human and nothing civilized about what we're doing here.
Carl Anheuser:
Dr. Helmsley's passion is admirable, but I will remind you that we have very limited resources and extremely limited time.
Helmsley: [glares at Anheuser]
Ask yourselves, can we really stand by and watch these people die? I read a quote two days ago. The author is probably dead by now, but he said: "The moment we stop fighting for each other, that's the moment that we lose our humanity.
Anheuser:
And in order to save the human race, we have an obligation to stick to this plan, which every nation on this flotilla has signed up for.
Helmsley:
We have to let these people in-
Anheuser: [to comms officer]
They're in God's hands now! Officer, you turn that off. That is an order, sailor! TURN IT OFF!
Professor West: [aims cane]
Don't you dare touch that button, young man!
Anheuser: [points to countdown]
Have you completely lost your mind?! LOOK AT THE CLOCK! WE HAVE BARELY 15 MINUTES LEFT! Do you wanna be responsible for the extinction of the human race? Can you handle that, Adrian?
Helmsley:
There's a young astrophysicist from India who's the reason we're all here.
Anheuser:
Oh, for God's sake.
Helmsley: [gets more emotional]
He's the one who discovered it all. He connected all the dots. We all owe him our lives. I just learned that he was killed with his family in a tsunami in eastern India. He was my friend, and he died in vain. Everybody out there has died in vain if we start our future with an act of cruelty. What would you tell your children? What will they tell theirs?
Laura Wilson:
If my father were here, he would open the gates.
Russian President: [looks to fellow heads of state]
The people of Russia along with China and Japan, agree... to open the gates.
German Chancellor:
The United Kingdom, Spain, France, Canada, Germany and I believe I may also speak for the Italian prime minister, we vote to let these people come in.
Helmsley:
Captain Michaels. Please.
Capt. Michaels: [contemplates, then reaches for radio mike; crowd cheers]
This is the captain. In a few moments, we will open the gates and get you people in. Please step back and clear the platform.
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2012 - Discussion on Communication and Priorities
Carl Anheuser: [about Laura Wilson]
She's a smart girl, she'll understand.
Adrian Helmsley:
That thing in Paris, we're not involved in any of that, are we?
Anheuser:
We"? Who's "we", what are you talking about? What we need to do is focus on the timeline.
Helmsley:
So when do we let the country know?
Anheuser:
What?
Helmsley:
The people, sir. They need to know.
Anheuser:
Well, of course they do. Listen, your job is to figure out when this is all gonna fall apart, my mission is to figure out how to retain some semblance of government after it falls apart, and until then, we don't have time for anything except for doing those jobs, okay? Now, you call me the moment you get any news from Yellowstone.
Helmsley: [turns to go]
Yes, sir.
Anheuser:
Cute girl, eh?
Helmsley:
Sir?
Anheuser:
The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.
Helmsley:
I wasn't looking at her.
Anheuser:
Better move fast, kid. The end is near.
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