Tim RobbinsQuotes

Congressman: Mr. Winston, Can you reasonably deny that you have a monopoly in this area?

Gary Winston: Well, the only monopoly... we have at N.U.R.V, is monopoly on excellence.

Milo Hoffman: Doesn't Bill Gates have something like that?

Gary Winston: Bill who?

Gary Winston: Gary is the name of spongebob's snail.

Gary Winston: Are we making CHEMICAL WEAPONS? KIDDIE PORN? Are we STRIP-MINING? NO! Why are they after me?

Gary Winston: The answer's not in the box, it's in the band.

Gary Winston: This business is binary, you're a one or a zero. Alive or dead.

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: A good friend of mine used to say, "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." Think about that for a while.

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: [Gives up a hit in a close game] Shit, piss, fuck!

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: Why does he want me to throw the heat again, I just threw it. No, don't think, Meat, just give him the gas.

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: [Wearing Annie's garter belt under his uniform for the first time] This underwear feels kinda sexy...that don't make me queer, right? Right.

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: Limping jets of love"...Hey, Crash. Does that mean what I think it means, "limping jets of love"?

Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: [Describing his first night with Annie] We didn't fuck. She just read poetry to me all night. It was more tiring than fucking.

Rig: Are you aware there's only two kinds of people on the whole planet? There are killers, and then there's everybody else. I'm a killer, Nick! Yes, yes, yes, yes! What are you, Nick?

Nick Beam: (racks shotgun) I'm married. (fires)

T: [[Helen Keller] Welcome to hell, beyotch! Car keys, wallet, now! (no response) You hear what I said? Alright, now you listen and you listen good. This a gun. Alright? Don't be fuckin around with no gun, white boy. (still no response) ], I'm talkin to you! (imitating a deaf person) I know you hear what the fuck I'm sayin to you!

Nick Beam: (smiles) Boy, did you pick the wrong guy on the wrong day.

June Gudmundsdottir: What took you so long?

Griffin Mill: Traffic was a bitch.

Griffin Mill: Let's go to Acapulco.

June Gudmundsdottir: Is that the thing to do?

Griffin Mill: It's a thing to do.

Tom Oakley: [Pitching ''Habeas Corpus''] The DA Breaks into the prison, runs down death row, but he gets there too late. The gas pellets have been dropped. She's dead. I tell you, there's not a dry eye in the house.

Griffin Mill: She's dead?

Tom Oakley: She's dead. She's dead. Because that's the reality. The innocent die.

Griffin Mill: Who's the DA?

Tom Oakley: No one.

Griffin Mill: No one?

Tom Oakley: No stars on this project. We're going out on a limb on one.

Andy Civelli: You know, like unknown stage actors or maybe somebody English like what's-his-name.

Griffin Mill: Why?

Tom Oakley: Why? This story is too damned important to risk being overwhelmed by personality. That's fine for action pictures, but this is special. We want real people. We don't want people coming with any preconceived notions.

Griffin Mill: So, what's the story?

Walter Stuckel: Twenty-five words or less? Okay. Movie exec calls writer. Writer's girlfriend says he's at the movies. Exec goes to the movies, meets writer, drinks with writer. Writer gets conked and dies in four inches of dirty water. Movie exec is in deep shit. What do you think?

Griffin Mill: That's more than 25 words and it's bullshit.

Detective Susan Avery: Mr. Mill, have you been going to detective school?

Griffin Mill: No, actually, we're doing a... a movie right now, called Lonely Room, and Scott Glenn plays a detective much like yourself.

Detective Susan Avery: Is he a black woman?

Griffin Mill: [Asked to look at police mug shots] Um, no. I - I mean, I - You're putting me in a terrible position here. I would - I would hate to get the wrong person arrested.

Detective Susan Avery: Oh, please! This is Pasadena. We do not arrest the wrong person. That's L.A.!

Larry Levy: I'll be there right after my AA meeting.

Griffin Mill: Oh Larry, I didn't realize you had a drinking problem.

Larry Levy: Well I don't really, but that's where all the deals are being made these days.

Griffin Mill: It lacked certain elements that we need to market a film successfully.

June Gudmundsdottir: What elements?

Griffin Mill: Suspense, laughter, violence. Hope, heart, nudity, sex. Happy endings. Mainly happy endings.

June Gudmundsdottir: What about reality?

June Gudmundsdottir: I don't go to movies.

Griffin Mill: Why not?

June Gudmundsdottir: Life is too short.

Griffin Mill: Can we talk about something other than Hollywood for a change? We're educated people.

Griffin Mill: [after watching [[Bicycle Thieves|The Bicycle Thief] Great movie, huh? So refreshing to see something like this after all these... cop movies and, you know, things we do. Maybe we'll do a remake of this!

Griffin Mill: This is a red wine glass. Can I have my water in a water glass?

Griffin Mill: I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here.

Woody Blake: Okay, people let's look sharp now. We're gonna run this simulation one more time. If we overshoot, there's no coming back.

Phil Ohlmyer: Yeah, and drifting through eternity will ruin your whole day.

Woody Blake: [leaving the BBQ in his 1959 Corvette] Internal combustion, boys. Accept no substitutes.

Woody Blake: Some couples dance, others go to Mars.

Woody Blake: You're just not man enough to wear jewelry.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Let's get to know one another, shall we? Let's chat man to man. Now you're from the basement, aren't you? And weren't blessed with much... education?

Norville Barnes: Well, I am college graduate.

Sidney J. Mussburger: But you didn't excel in your studies?

Norville Barnes: Well, I made the Dean's List.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Oh.

Norville Barnes: At the Muncie College of Business Administration.

Sidney J. Mussburger: [laughs] Oh. And your friends called you "jerk" didn't they?

Norville Barnes: No.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Dope? Dipstick? Lamebrain? Schmoe? Not even behind you back?

Norville Barnes: No, as a matter of fact they voted me most likely to succeed.

Sidney J. Mussburger: You're fired.

Sidney J. Mussburger: This better be good. I'm in a bad mood.

Norville Barnes: [Shows him the drawing of the circle, but sees that it's upside down and flips it over] Well, sir. I've got something for you from the mailroom, but first if I could just take a minute or so from your very valuable time to show you a little something I've been working on for the last two or three years. . You know, for kids! Which is perfect for Hudsucker not that I claim to be any great genius; like they say, inspiration is ninty-nine percent perspiration, and in my case I'd say it's at least twice that, but I gotta tell ya, Mr. Mussburger, sir, this sweet baby-

Sidney J. Mussburger: Wait a minute!

Norville Barnes: Hullo.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Norville Barnes: Uhh, no, I...

Receptionist: [takes out a huge book] Shall we look in the book, hmmm?

Norville Barnes: No, ma'am, ya see, I...

Receptionist: We don't seem to be in the book...

Norville Barnes: I wouldn't be in the book.

Receptionish: If we had an appointment, we'd be in the book...

Norville Barnes: [Takes out the Blue Letter] I know but ya see I have this, uh, oh here it is.

Norville Barnes: Say, what do you do when the envelopes too big for the slot?

Ancient Sorter: Well, if you fold em, they fire ya. I usually throw em out.

Norville Barnes: Just got hired today.

Ancient Sorter: [coldy] Terrific.

Norville Barnes: You know, entry level.

Ancient Sorter: Tell me about it.

Norville Barnes: But I've got big ideas.

Ancient Sorter: I'm sure you do.

Norville Barnes: [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper; Ancient Sorter looks at Norville, confused] For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids.

Ancient Sorter: Terrific.

Norville Barnes: So, it sees how I won't be working in the mailroom long.

Ancient Sorter: No, I don't guess you will be.

Norville Barnes: How long you been here?

Ancient Sorter: Forty-eight years. Next year they move me up to parcels... if I'm lucky.

Norville Barnes: Well look who it is. Amy Archer, Prizeter Pule winner.

Norville Barnes: I wasn't expecting all this hoopla. You can quote me on that.

Norville Barnes: Fight on! Fight on dear old Muncie! Fight on hoist the gold and blue! You'll be tattered, torn, and hurtin once the Munc is done with you! Gooooooooooooo Eagles!

Norville Barnes: [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper] For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids.

Norville Barnes: [repeated line] You know, for kids.

Dave Boyle: Hey, you think I could get that Sprite, Sean?

Sean Devine: Sure.

Dave Boyle: Oh, I get it. You're the good cop. How about a meatball sub while you're at it?

Sean Devine: I ain't your bitch, Dave. Looks like you'll have to wait.

Dave Boyle: Yeah, but you're someone's bitch, aren't you, Sean?

Jimmy Markum: I just can't let anything get fucked up in these next few days. Because it's all anybody will remember about her. One thing you could say about Katie, even when she was little...that girl was neat. When I got out of the joint...you know, after Marita died...I remember, I was more afraid of my little daughter...than I ever was of being in prison. I loved her...most...because when we were sitting in that kitchen that night...it was like we were the last two people on Earth. You know, forgotten. Unwanted. And it's really starting to piss me off, Dave, because I can't cry for her. My own little daughter, and I can't even cry for her.

Dave Boyle: Jimmy...you're crying now.

Dave Boyle: It's like vampires. Once it's in you...it stays.

Dave Boyle: Dave's dead. I don't know who came out of that cellar, but it sure as shit wasn't Dave.

Dave Boyle: Maybe one day you wake up and you forget what it's like...to be human. Maybe then it's okay.

Dave Boyle: It makes you feel...alone, you know, hurting somebody.

Harlan Ogilvy: So what are you gonna do? Hide and wait here till they come and get you? Is that your "plan"?

Harlan Ogilvy: [laughs, to himself] I'm dead set on living. "Dead set on living".

Harlan Ogilvy: You and me - I don't think we're on the same page.

Harlan Ogilvy: This is not a war any more than there's a war between men and maggots... This is an extermination.

Cowboy Guy: I was in Paris once with my wife... boy am I glad she's dead.

Gary Cooper: Hi, I'm Gary Cooper, but not the Gary Cooper that's dead.

Lance: Gib, you want a relationship? That's fine. Just remember that every relationship starts with a one night stand. You came 3,000 miles for a reason didn't you? Would you look at that reason. Go for it Gib, you've earned it.

Lance's frat brother: Three thousand miles just to get laid. I really respect that.

Merlin: Mav, what're doin', you're slowin down!

Maverick: Gonna let him get a little closer.

Jacob: You know you look like an angel, Louie? Like an overgrown cherub. Anyone ever tell you that?

Louis: [smiling] Yeah, you. Every time you see me.

Jacob: You're a lifesaver, Louie.

Louis: [smiling] Yeah, I know.

Michael: I'd only been in jail 13 hours, I thought Nam couldn't be any worse.

Jacob: Shows how little you knew.

Michael: Yeah, really.

Louis: Well, you've done it to yourself this time, haven't you?

Jacob: Am I dying, Louie?

Louis: From a slipped disk? That'll be a first.

Jacob: Jezzie? Get me out of here.

Evil Doctor: Where do you want to go?

Jacob: Home.

Evil Doctor: Home? This is your home. You're dead.

Jacob: Dead? No. I just hurt my back, I'm not dead.

Evil Doctor: What are you, then?

Jacob: I'm alive.

Evil Doctor: Then what are you doing here?

Jacob: [crying] I don't know. This isn't happening.

Evil Doctor: What is happening?

Jacob: Get me out of here.

Evil Doctor: There is no out of here. You've been killed, don't you remember?

Jezebel: Well, personally, I never went for church names.

Jezebel: What?

Jacob: Where do you think Jezebel came from?

Jezebel: No one calls me that.

Jacob: You're such a heathen, Jezzie. How'd I ever get involved with such a fuckin ninny?

Jezebel: You sold your soul, remember? That's what you told me.

Jacob: Yeah? For what?

Jezebel: A good lay.

Jacob: Look what I got.

Jezebel & Jacob: The best.

Andy Dufresne: [in a letter] Dear Red, If you're reading this, you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further. You remember the name of the town, don't you? I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I'll keep an eye out for you and the chessboard ready. Remember, Red: hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well. Your friend, Andy.

Andy Dufresne: [Scrawled in a Bible he hollowed out to make space for the rock hammer he used to tunnel through his cell wall, and placed in the Warden's safe the night before his escape] Dear Warden; You were right. Salvation lay within. Andy