Chicken Run (2000) - Quotes

Taglines: It's Chicken Impossible.

Taglines: The Lone Free Ranger.

Taglines: Feathers Will Fly!

Taglines: She's Poultry In Motion.

Taglines: There's Nothing More Determined Than Poultry With A Plan.

Taglines: A Few Good Hen.

Taglines: Escape or Die Frying.

Taglines: This Ain't No Chick Flick!

Nick: The egg, obviously. Rollin along happy as Larry, then, crack! Hatches into the first chicken.

Fetcher: Yeah, but where'd the egg come from, then?

Nick: [[Tinker Bell (film)|What do you mean] ], where'd it come from?

Fetcher: Egg comes rollin along, happy as Larry. It's wonderin', where'd it come from? Without a chicken, you get no egg to come rollin along.

Nick: Well, conversely, without an egg to hatch into the chicken, there will be no chicken to lay the other egg that hatches into the chicken that lays the egg I mentioned in the first place.

Fetcher: So we got two eggs now?

Nick: No, we're still talking about the very first egg.

Fetcher: But what happened about the very first chicken?

Nick: He's in the very first egg! Aren't you listenin'?

Rocky: Uh, guys. Guys? Tryin to enjoy paradise over here.

Nick: Oh, sorry, guv.

Fetcher: [[Madagascar (2005 film)|Beg your pardon] ].

Nick: Won't happen again.

Rocky: Thanks.

Nick: Gitface.

Fetcher: Pillock.

Nick: Thinks he's such a big shot cause he's got his name on a poster. These show biz folk are all the same.

Fetcher: Yeah, the rats are the stars, carefully. Yeah, they are. Of course they are.

Nick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are. Of course they are. We do all the work, he gets all the credits.

Fetcher: But he does get all the birds. He gets everything.

Nick: Yes, he does. Everything.

Fetcher: You said it, mate.

Nick: I know.

Nick: Ey, ey, here's a thought. Why don't we get an egg and start our own chicken farm? That way we'll have all the eggs we could eat.

Fetcher: Right. We'll need a chicken then.

Nick: No. No, we'll need an egg. You have the egg first. That's where you get the chicken from.

Fetcher: No, that's cobblers. If you don't have a chicken, where you gonna get an egg?

Nick: From the chicken that comes from the egg.

Fetcher: Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken.

Nick: Yeah, but you gotta get the chicken first to get the egg, and then the egg, you get the chicken out.

Fetcher: [The screen puts up, "The End", then the credits scene] Hang on. Let's go over this again.

Ginger: [pulls him close] THAT'S for leaving. And THIS is for coming back.

Fowler: Great Scott! What was that?

Mac: [[w:Klingon|cling-on] A ], Cap'n, and the engines can't take it!

Ginger: Oh my goodness. Babs! Scissors!

Babs: [knit toothbrush lipstick scissor] Bingo!

Ginger: Lower me down.

Rocky: But... Ginger...

Ginger: Just do it.

Fowler: Increase velocity!

Babs: What does that mean?

Bunty: It means PEDAL YOUR FLIPPIN GIBLETS OUT!!

Ginger: LOWER!

Rocky: I'm trying!

Ginger: [billboard] FOWLER! LOOK OUT!

Rocky: [She raising her axe. But then Rocky Starts firing eggs at Melisha Tweedy] GINGER!

Rocky: FIRE! FIRE!

Fetcher: [Ginger loses Babs' scissors] Oh, me eggs.

Rocky: MORE AMMO, HURRY!

Nick: [[The Lego Movie|WE'VE GOT NO MORE EGGS!] ]

Rocky: GINGER! LOOK OUT!

Rocky: [[Wreck-It Ralph|'''''NOOOOO!!!'''''; Ginger she ducks and cover looks up at Melisha Tweedy] ]

Melisha Tweedy: [Groans. Ginger reveals the broken Christmas lights in front of Melisha Tweedy] HUH?!

Ginger: [Melisha Tweedy screams after her side of the wire is lets go] Bye-bye!

Fowler: BOMBS AWAY!

Melisha Tweedy: [last words; All the chickens cheer for victory] MR TWEEDY!!!

Rocky: Oh, that was good, that was GOOD!

Fowler: [laughing] The Old Bird bought it!

Willard Tweedy: [Melisha Tweedy shrieking and gasping. Willard Tweedy closed the door slowing down and pie machine explodes] Mrs. Tweedy, Mrs. Tweed-- (Oh, no!) (Look out for exploded!)

Rocky and Ginger: [Gravy leaks down the door] WHOA!

Willard Tweedy: [last words; Melisha Tweedy she gets angry and willard he pushes the door falls flat on her] I told you they was organized.

Fowler: We need more power!

Mac: [[w:Montgomery Scott|I cannae work miracles, Cap'n! We're giving her all she's got!] ]

Ginger: Alright, Fowler! Ready for take-off!

Fowler: Behind you all the way!

Ginger: [points to the cockpit] But... you're supposed to be up there! You're the pilot!

Fowler: Don't be ridiculous. I can't fly this contraption.

Ginger: But... but back in your day. The Royal Air Force.

Fowler: [[w:No. 644 Squadron RAF|644 Squadron] ], Poultry Division! We were the mascots.

Ginger: You mean you never actually FLEW the plane!?

Fowler: Good heavens, no! I'm a CHICKEN! The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!

Hen: We're all gonna die!

Ginger: You have to fly it. You're always talking about back in your day. Well, today is your day!

Bunty: You can do it, you old sausage.

Fowler: [The hens cheer; Fowler impatiently talks over them, heading for the cockpit.] Wing Commander T.I. Fowler reporting for duty. Come on, what are you waiting for? Let's get this crate off the ground!

Nick: [aboard the flying machine] The exits are located here and here. In the quite likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees and-

Fetcher: Kiss your bum goodbye!

Ginger: Listen. We'll either die free chickens or die trying.

Babs: Are those the only choices?

Willard Tweedy: [being attacked by the chickens] MRS TWEEDY, THE CHICKENS ARE REVOLTING!?

Melisha Tweedy: [sarcastically, with her back turned she not paying attention] Finally, something we agree on.

Mac: Oh, a cannon. Aye, that would give you thrust.

Bunty: I knew he was fake all along. In fact, I'm not even certain he was American.

Mac: So, what's the next plan, hen?

Ginger: [sighs] Let's face it. The only way out of here is wrapped in pastry.

Babs: Perhaps, he just went on holiday.

Bunty: [angrily snatches Babs' knitting and stamps it in the mud] Perhaps, he just wanted to get away from your infernal knitting!

Mac: [pushes Bunty] You were always the one that was always hitting him. See how you like it!

Fowler: [shows Bunty his air-force medal] Quiet there! Quiet, I say! Dissension in the ranks. Precisely what Jerry would have wanted. The old divide and conquer. A proper squadron work together, like we did in my R.A.F. days. Jocko at the stick, Flappy at the map, and old Whizzbang at the tail-end Charlie. WingCo would give the call, hop in the old crate, chocks away! Wizard show it was. That's how you get medals.

Bunty: [enraged] Oh. Will you shut up about your STUPID, BLOOMING MEDALS?!?!

Fowler: [angrily hits Bunty with his cane] HOW DARE YOU! Madam, forgive me. A-As an officer, I offer my most--

Ginger: [turns to the chickens fighting in the mud] Fowler. Everyone! SHUT UP!

Ginger: [clears throat] Fowler, what exactly is the R.A.F.?

Fowler: [pulls his face out of the mud; salutes; chuckles] What do you mean, what is it? The Royal Air Force is what!

Ginger: Then what's the "old crate"?

Nick: [to Fetcher, sobbing] What are you sobbing about, you nancy?

Fetcher: [to Nick, putting a red light in] Little moments like this, mate. It's what makes the job all worthwhile. Wanna dance?

Nick: Yeah, all right.

Willard Tweedy: Ooh! That's champion, that is. What is it?

Melisha Tweedy: It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.

Willard Tweedy: Oh! What kind of pies?

Melisha Tweedy: [sarcastically] Apple.

Willard Tweedy: (excited) My favorite!

Melisha Tweedy: [forcefully; calmly] Chicken pies, you great lummox! Imagine it! In less than a fortnight, every grocer's in the county will be stocked with box upon box of "Mrs Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies".

Willard Tweedy: Just "Missus"?

Melisha Tweedy: Woman's touch. Makes the public feel more comfortable.

Willard Tweedy: [about to pull the gearshift] Uh, right. How does it work?

Melisha Tweedy: [slaps Mr Tweedy on the hand] Get me a chicken and I'll show you.

Willard Tweedy: [He walks out to get Ginger] I know just the 1. ?

Nick: We slipped into the farmer's room, all quiet, like...

Fetcher: [interrupting] Like a fish!

Nick: [pauses] Yeah, and we- Like a FISH? You stupid Norbert.

Ginger: I thought you were going to teach us how to fly.

Rocky: That's what I'm doing.

Ginger: [chuckles] Isn't there usually some flapping involved?

Rocky: Hey, do I tell you how to lay eggs? Relax. We're making progress.

Ginger: [points to the chickens, who are indeed, spinning around in circles] Really? I can't help feeling we're going round in circles.

Rocky: [The chickens stop, and start wobble around uneasily and toppling over] What the...? Hey! Cut it out! You're making me dizzy! Yeah. I think they're ready to fly now.

Ginger: Good, cause they certainly can't WALK anymore.

Rocky: So, you wanna fly? Well, it ain't gonna be easy, and it ain't gonna happen overnight either. You see, flying takes three things - hard work, perseverance and... hard work.

Fowler: You said "hard work" twice!

Rocky: [licks a feather and shows it to the hens, making all of them except Ginger laugh] That's because it takes twice as much work as perseverance.

Fowler: [muttering; goes back into Hut 1] Codswallop! Cocky Yanks think that they know it all...

Fowler: Absolutely outrageous! Asking a senior officer to share his quarters! And with a non-commissioned Yank, no less! Why, back in my day, I'd never...

Rocky Rhodes: Hey, you weren't exactly my first choice either. And scoot over! Your wing's on my side of the bunk.

Fowler: Your side of the bunk!? The whole bunk is my side of the bunk!

Rocky Rhodes: [snapping back] Just... What's that smell, is that your breath?

Fowler: [grumbling] It's absolutely outrageous.

Ginger: So that's it. You're from the circus.

Rocky Rhodes: [alarmed] Shh!

Ginger: You're on the run, aren't you?

Rocky Rhodes: [pulls Ginger behind Hut 17] You wanna keep it down?! I'm trying to lay low here!

Ginger: I should turn you in right now!

Rocky Rhodes: You wouldn't… would you?

Ginger: Give me one reason why I shouldn't.

Rocky Rhodes: [Ginger stares at him and squawks loudly, he quickly clamps her beak shut] Because I'm... cute? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What kind of crazy chick are you? Do you know what'll happen if he finds me?!

Ginger: It's a cruel world.

Rocky Rhodes: I've just decided, I don't like you.

Ginger: I've just decided, I don't care. Now show us how to fly.

Rocky Rhodes: With this wing?!

Ginger: Teach us, then!

Rocky Rhodes: No!

Melisha Tweedy: (smiles) He's valuable, you say?

Circus Man: Sure.

Melisha Tweedy: [to Mr Tweedy] Get the torch.

Rocky Rhodes: [clamps her beak shut again] Now you listen here, sister. I'm not going back to that life! I'm a lone free ranger; emphasis on "free"!

Ginger: [Rocky notices the Tweedys approaching] And that's what we want - freedom! Fancy that, they're coming this way.

Rocky Rhodes: Uh, no! Uh, no, they're after me!

Ginger: Teach us to fly, and we'll hide you.

Rocky Rhodes: [Ginger starts to squawk again when Rocky clamp her beak shut this instant she does] And if I don't...? Was your father, by any chance, a vulture?!

Ginger: [Offers her wing to seal the deal. Rocky reluctantly agrees and Ginger pulls him behind Hut 17] Do we have a deal?

Rocky Rhodes: Time to make good on that deal, doll–

Ginger: [grabs his beak; knocks on the wall of Hut 17. A hidden door opens and two chickens grab her and Rocky and take them inside] The name... is Ginger.

Ginger: I knew it was possible.

Rocky Rhodes: Oh, it's possible alright.

Ginger: I knew the answer would come.

Rocky Rhodes: Amen!

Ginger: We're all going to FLY over that fence, and Mr Rhodes is going to show us how, right?

Rocky Rhodes: That's r... W-w-what, did you say "fly"?

Ginger: You can teach us.

Rocky Rhodes: [The other hens sigh in despair; silence; dashes out the coop] No, I can't. Listen. Shh! You hear that? That's the open road calling my name and I was born to answer that call. Bye!

Babs: He must have very good hearing.

Rocky Rhodes: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Let's back up and start from the top. Where am I?

Ginger: [clears throat] Uh, you're right, how rude of us. We're just very exci– This is a chicken farm.

Babs: [winks] And we're the chickens.

Rocky Rhodes: Ah, I'm with you so far. Chicken farm, chickens...

Fowler: [about Rocky] I don't like the look of this one. His eyes are too close together.

Ginger: Fowler, please!

Fowler: And he's a yank!

Rocky Rhodes: Easy, pops. Cockfighting's illegal where I come from.

Bunty: And where is that, exactly?

Rocky Rhodes: Ah, just a little place I call The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave.

Mac: Scotland!

Rocky Rhodes: No! America!

Chickens: Oooh! America!

Fowler: [exits Hut 17] Poppycock! Pushy Americans, always showing up late for every war. Overpaid, oversexed, and over here!

Rocky Rhodes: Hey, what's eatin Grandpa?

Ginger: Uh, don't mind him, mister.... Mister...?

Rocky Rhodes: The name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. "Rhodes" for short.

Agnes: Rocky Rhodes"?

Rocky Rhodes: Catchy, ain't it?

Ginger: Um, Mr. Rhodes, is this you?

Rocky Rhodes: Uh... who wants to know?

Ginger: A group of rather desperate chickens. You see, if it IS you, then you just might be the answer to our prayers.

Rocky Rhodes: Well, then, call me a miracle, doll face, cause that's me.

Chickens: Oooh!

Ginger: [Off-screen] And what brings you to England, Mr. Rhodes?

Rocky Rhodes: Why, all the beautiful English chicks, of course.

Ginger: Think everyone, think. What haven't we tried yet?

Babs: Uh...

Bunty: We haven't tried NOT trying to escape.

Babs: [happily] Hmm. That might work.

Ginger: What about Edwina? How many more empty nests will it take?

Bunty: Well, perhaps it wouldn't be empty if she'd spent more time laying and less time escaping!

Ginger: So laying eggs all your life and then getting plucked, stuffed and roasted is good enough for you, it is guilty?

Babs: It's a living.

Ginger: [Points to head] Do you know what the problem is? The fences aren't just around the farm, they're up here . There is a better place out there, beyond on the hill, outdoors, trees and grass. You imagine it. Cool grass green.

Agnes: And who feeds us?

Ginger: We feed ourselves.

Hen: Where is the farm?

Ginger: There is no farm.

Babs: Then where does the farmer live?

Ginger: There is no farmer, Babs.

Babs: Is he on holiday?

Ginger: He isn't anywhere! Don't you get it? There's no morning head count no farmers, no dogs, no coups and locks and keys, and no fences!

Bunty: [The chickens start murmuring] In all my life, I've never heard such a fantastic... LOAD OF TRIPE. Let's face the facts, ducks. The chances of US getting out of HERE are 1,000,000 to 1.

Ginger: Then there's still a chance.

Babs: Ohh!

Nick: You called? Nick and--

Fetcher: Fetcher.

Nick: At your service.

Ginger: Over here!

Ginger: We need some more things.

Nick: [opens a lunchbox and holds up a couple thimbles] Right you are, Miss! How about this quality, hand-crafted tea set?

Ginger: Um, no...

Fetcher: [holds up a drain plug on a chain] Or this lovely necklace and pendant?

Ginger: Well, it's lovely...

Nick: [holds up a badminton birdie; pops it on Ginger's head, feathers side up so that she looks like an Indian] Or how about this little number that's all the rage in the most fashionable coops in Paris. Simply pop it on like so... And as the French hens say, "Voila!

Fetcher: That IS French.

Nick: [turns the birdie over, making it look like a wedding veil] And that's two hats in one, Miss. For parties... ...For weddings! Uh, madame! This makes you look like a vision, like a dream.

Fetcher: Like a duck!

Ginger: [takes off the birdie and shows a diagram of a catapult] No, thank you. We're making this. We need these things. Can you get them?

Nick: Ooh-hoo-hoo, ooh, this is a big job, Miss. Uh, bigger than the other ones. No, no, this is gonna cost.

Ginger: [hands Nick a bag of chicken feed] Same as always: one bag of seed.

Nick: You call this pay?!

Fetcher: It's chicken feed!

Ginger: What else could we give you?

Nick: Eggs.

Ginger: Eggs?!

Fetcher: [holds up an egg cup and licks his lips] Eggs.

Ginger: We can't give you our eggs. They're too valuable.

Nick: [packs up to leave] And so are we. After you, Fetcher.

Fetcher: [pausely] After I what?

Nick: Move!

Ginger: [on microphone] Order! Order! Quiet, everyone! Settle down! I would like to order... Please, if you could just settle--

Fowler: [banging on the table] Quiet here! Let's have some discipline in the ranks! What, what!

Ginger: Thank you, Fowler.

Fowler: In my R.A.F days, we were never allowed to waste time unnecessary chitchat.

Ginger: Yes, thank you, Fowler.

Fowler: [pause; chuckling, clears throat, and saluting] I... Right! Carry on.

Ginger: Edwina. Bunty, why didn't you give her some of yours?

Bunty: I would have. She didn't tell me, she didn't tell anyone.

Bunty: [loud whispering] Shush!

Bunty: I'm stuck!

Ginger: Get back!

Melisha Tweedy: [her first words] Mr. Tweedy.

Melisha Tweedy: What is that chicken doing outside the fence?

Willard Tweedy: [his first words; giggles] Oh, I don't know love.

Melisha Tweedy: Just deal with it. Now!

Willard Tweedy: [to Ginger; He's throws in the coals. Close the bin. and Turns he goes to the other chickens; clenches his fist up; points at them; He go back to the farmhouse and get ready for bed] I'll teach you to make a fool out of me. Now let that be a lesson to the lot of you! No chicken escapes from Tweedy's FARM!