RV (2006)

Bob: [Todd bursts with laughter; [The Nut Job|raccoons; [Rango (2011 film)|desert; referring to the Gornickes; [The Muppets (film)|banjo; turns to the Gornickes; turns to Garry and Larry, about Alpine; smiles at Cassie who smiles back, then turns again to Garry and Larry; [Disneyland; audience gasps in shock] Hi, everybody. Sorry I'm late. I just came down from the mountain, and next time I'll use the road. I guess you guys didn't get the memo about "extreme casual". I love your wilderness so much that I decided to wear it. Easy, Todd. It's been kind of a-a wild journey getting here. If you ever wanna really find out about yourself, put your family in an RV and, uh, drive. I've seen some amazing stuff. I've, uh, fought wild ] and won. I've been in the ] to a place where it's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there. And...I met this weird family. I mean, boy, they were strange. You know, whenever a big white man picks up a ], my cheeks tighten. In the dictionary, under "hootenanny", it says "See: them". And you know what's strange about them. They're just honest, good people and it's an honor to have them as friends. Garry, Larry, this is a nice company you have here. It's your baby. I bet at the birth of your baby, you were, uh, kinda scared, right? Excited but scared. And you didn't know it was gonna turn out, and the next thing you know, it's up and walking, and you-you're tryna raise it. And sometimes you didn't know what the heck you were doing but you pretended like you did. And, uh, the next thing you know, your baby's grown. It's bigger, older, more complicated, difficult to deal with. But here's the deal, you care about it just as much because you nurtured it and part of you is in it and you're proud of it. You love it more than ever. And right now, you have to make a decision of whether you wanna merge your family with the Pure Vibe family. And I guarantee you the stocks are gonna split and you'll have money you won't know what to do with. And your company's gonna grow. You'll be bigger than a woman in bicycle shorts at ]. You'll be able to get all the stuff, like the ski boat, a $4000 bike, maybe even a Barcalounger that, you know, messages your butt and blows smoke at the same time. Bottom line here, Garry, Larry, if you wanna merge Alpine and Pure Vibe...I promise you you're making the worst decision of your entire life.

Todd: [gets up; Laird laughs softly; clears his throat] Whoa! This guy's a disgruntled employee. Couldn't keep up with the inner talent. Look at him. He's off his meds. Finished. His own daughter assaulted me at my home.

Cassie: Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.

Jamie: What?