Twister (1996) - Quotes

Taglines: Don't Breathe. Don't Look Back.

Taglines: The Dark Side of Nature.

Taglines: There is a Mystery. Elusive. Unpredictable. Violent. It terrifies most scientists. But for a new breed... ...the challenge is saving lives. The Research is deadly. And the Laboratory is nature itself.

Allan: Hey, Jo, Bill, check out that sky!

Jo: [Turns to kiss Bill] You know what? I think we've seen enough.

Jo: Bill?

Bill: Why didn't you tell me?

Jo: Bill, don't!

Joey: Uh, what?

Jonas: [Bill punches Jonas off his hat and slams him against his D.O.T.3 system] And what will soon be the center of all studies- Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Bill: You son-of-a-bitch! What, did you think I wasn't gonna find out?

Jonas: Hey guys, get this loser off of me!

Jonas's team member #1: Alright! Back off! Back off!

Jonas's team member #2: Put your malfunction, man!

Joey: Come on, he's not worth it!

Jonas: What is the matter with you?!

Bill: [Tries to push at Jonas again] You stole my design, you son of a bitch!

Joey: Calm down!

Jonas: [Pushes Bill back] What the hell are you talking about?!

Bill: DOROTHY. You took her, you damn THIEF!

Jonas: [Realizes what Bill is talking about and smiles] Oh, I get it. You wanna take credit for my designs, is that it?

Bill: You're a liar. She was our idea and you know it!

Jonas: Unrealized idea. Unrealized.

Bill: [Tries to attack Jonas again, Jo helps stop it] That thing ain't worth shit!

Jo: Hey! Hey, guys! Bill! Guys! GUYS!!! Oh my guys! Get a grip on yourselves. We both know they'll never get that thing up in the air.

Joey: That's right!

Jonas: Well, let me enlighten you people. This baby has satellite com-link. We've got an onboard pulse Doppler, and we've got NEXRAD real-time. Today, we're gonna make history. So stick around, cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.

Rabbit: Better than what you sniff.

Bill: We'll see who gets it first, PAL.

Jonas: [Referring to Bill's new weatherman job; Laughs and walks away] Oh, and by the way... I really enjoy your weather reports.

Bill: [Tries to go after Jonas again] JEEZ, YOU SLIME!!! I'm not through with you, yet!

Rabbit: Alright! Alright!

Bill: Come on! Come here! Come on! Come on! Get your hands off of me! Let go of me! OKAY!!!

Sanders: He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!

Jo: [Walks to Bill] I'm sorry. I should've told you.

Bill: [Glaring at Jo] ONE DAY. I'll give you one day. Whether she flies or not, I'm gone.

Dusty: It's the wonder of nature baby!

Bill: Jonas! Son of a bitch!

Melissa: Who is that honey?

Bill: Jonas Miller. He's a nightcrawler. We all started out working in the same lab, but Jonas went out and got some corporate sponsors. He's in it for the money not the science. He has a lot of high tech gadgets, but he's got no instincts, and he doesn't have Dorothy.

Rabbit: You know, Jo, some of us couldn't help but notice how close we are to Wakita.

Jo: No.

Sanders: Aunt Meg wouldn't mind a pit stop, right?

Jo: No!

Dusty: Red meat! We crave sustenance!

Dusty: F-food!

Rest of the Team: Food! FOOD!

Jo: Hey! We're absolutely not going!

Jo: [Jo's truck falls from the sky in the way of Melissa. Melissa screams hysterically, while at the same time able to swerve around it] Where's my truck? There it is.

Bill: Melissa?!

Dusty: Did you just miss that truck? That's AWESOME! That's AWESOME!

Jo: Debris! Dusty, we have debris!

Bill: DEBRIS!!

Jo: RIGHT!!

Bill: What now?!

Jo: [breathlessly] I have no idea!

Preacher: No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F-3?

Bill: Solid F-2.

Melissa: See, now you've lost me again.

Bill: It's the Fujita Scale. It measures the intensity of a tornado by how much it eats.

Melissa: Eats?

Bill: Destroys.

Lawrence: The one we encountered back there was a strong F-2, F-3 maybe.

Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some F-4's today.

Haynes: That would be sweet!

Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficiently.

Melissa: [silence falls over the group] Is there an F-5? What would that be like?

Preacher: ...The Finger of God.

Melissa: None of you have ever seen an F-5?

Bill: ...Just one of us.

Melissa: I was just wondering why do you call Billy "The Extreme"?

Dusty: Cause Billy is The Extreme.

Preacher: Bill is most out-of-control sonofabitch in the gang!

Bill: [Gives Jo a look, who smirks back] No, I think I came in 2nd.

Dusty: Oh, I've seen The Extreme in high gear.

Jo: [Leaves to take a shower] You guys need to come up with some new stories. I'm gonna go clean up.

Dusty: So we get this one near Daleton right?

Rabbit: Oh, god.

Dusty: And we are way too close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.

Beltzer: [points to Bill] And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...

Dusty: He is naked!

Rabbit: He is buck naked.

Beltzer: Naked!

Bill: [laughter] NOT naked! I was not naked!

Beltzer: [whispering into Melissa's ear] He was without apparel.

Bill: Half naked.

Dusty: [laughter] Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right? And he just strolls up to the twister, says have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground.

Beltzer: The twister caught it and sucked it right up!

Bill: Honey, this is a tissue full of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.

Dusty: I LOVE THIS GUY!

Rabbit: God Meg, you got alot of beef. Where'd you get all this beef?

Aunt Meg: Did you see my cows out front?

Rabbit: No.

Aunt Meg: Op...aaah!

Rabbit: Oh.

Dusty: You slaughter your own cows! Meg, nice!

Rabbit: Y'know, in a severe lightning storm, you want to grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.

Haynes: He's right. If you're gonna get hit it's the safest orifice.

Joey: Yeah, I'd like to get hit by lightning once, y'know, see what it's like.

Jo: [After her truck is destroyed, looking over at Bill's truck] Do you have full coverage on that truck?

Bill: Liability only.

Jo: Liability only...Well, it's a very pretty truck.

Melissa: Thank you.

Bill: [Jo looks at him] Don't even think about it. NO WAY.

Dusty: Well, there's some good news. It DID fly. What was it like?

Jo: ...It was windy.

Dusty: [Chuckles] Windy. That's intense.

Jo: Alright, get out of the way, Dusty.

Dusty: That's intense. That's intense.

Dusty: Bill, she just missed the truck!

Melissa: She did not marry your penis. Ok, she didn't ONLY marry your penis.

Mellisa: [after being caught in a tornado while chasing it with Bill and Jo; frightened to tears] When you told me you used to chase tornadoes, deep down I always thought it was a metaphor!

Jo: Where's the road Rabbit?!

Rabbit: It should be any second!

Preacher: HELLO. Shit.

Jo: Beltzer will tell us if drops near us!

Bill: It's not gonna drop near us, its gonna drop right on us!

Dusty: [realizes a tornado is coming] Jo, Bill, it's coming! It's headed right for us!

Bill: [staring at the nearby tornado with Jo and Mellisa; to everyone nearby] It's already here! Everybody underground now!

Rabbit: Try to find this road. It's like Bob's Road...

Dusty: [after Jo and Bill drive through an explosion] Jo, Bill did you see that explosion?

Jo: ...We saw it.

Bill: [they scream as they drive through the house and out the other side] I think we're going in! ...Maybe we should get off this road.

Jo: I think you're right.

Jo: [after finding a barn full of sharp instruments] Oh my God, who are these people?!

Bill: I don't think so!

Jo: What're you doing? What're you doing?!

Bill: Look at the updraft, the angle. It's gonna shift its track.

Jo: Are you sure?

Bill: Oh yeah, it's definitely a sidewinder...It'll move left.

Melissa: Is that bad?

Bill: Wasn't there a road back there–?

Jo: [Sees what Bill saw] You're right. Go, go, go, go, go!

Melissa: [Her phone rings. She answers] Hello? Donald, now's not a very good time for me, I'm – okay, put Julia on...

Jonas: Looking good, looking very good. Alright, now about four miles south, hang a right, let's deploy, and we'll be done.

Eddie: Uh, Dr. Miller?

Jonas: [Looks up and sees the tornado's new heading] Shit, shit, IT'S MOVING AWAY! God!

Eddie: [Sees Bill's team down a different road] Looks like they're gonna intercept.

Jonas: [Looks with his binoculars in surprise at where Bill's team is] Dammit, Tony, I thought you told me this thing was gonna stay on the same heading!

Beltzer: [on the radio] Shit. Shit! Hey, are you guys gonna wrap this up pretty soon?

Bill: WHAT?

Beltzer: [obviously sarcastic; clears his throat] Oh, nothing I was just wondering if we were gonna chase this tornado, or just catch the next one.

Bill: SHIT!!

Bill: [steers the car to safety] WHOA!! Damn...

Rabbit: Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps.

Sanders: I didn't fold the maps.

Rabbit: Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL THE MAPS.

Bill: Hiya, Jo.

Jo: Hey, Bill. I'm happy you found us.

Bill: How're you doing?

Jo: [Briefly looks up at the gathering storm clouds and smiles wide] It's going good. Did you see the sky today?

Bill: Yeah, she's, uh, she's really talking.

Jo: [Tosses some electrical cables to Bill, who only catches them at the last second; [w:National Severe Storms Laboratory|NSSL] Catch. It's the biggest series of storms in 12 years; one lined up right after another. ] says they've never seen anything like it.