John TurturroQuotes

Walter Sobchak: [talking to The Dude; [w:M16 rifle|M16; [w:M1 Abrams|Abrams fucking tank; [w:Viet Cong|Charlie] We're gonna see some tank battles. Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. I mean, that was a foot-soldier's war whereas this thing here should, uh, you know, should be a piece of cake. I mean, I had an ] Jacko, not an ]. Me and ], eyeball to eyeball. That's fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin adversary.

Donny: Who was in pajamas, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny. Whereas what we have here: Bunch of fig-eaters wearin towels on their head tryin to find reverse on a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy fuckin adversary..

Jesus Quintana: Hey! What's this "day of rest" shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush-league psych out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Woo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Walter Sobchak: ...He's crackin'.

The Dude: She probably kidnapped herself.

Walter Sobchak: Huh?

Donny: What do you mean, Dude?

The Dude: Rug peers did not do this. Look at it! A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. she figures he isn't given her enough, you know. She owes money all over town.

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch.

The Dude: [[w:Vladimir Lenin|Lenin] It's all a goddamn fake, man! It's like ] said: You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know—

Donny: [[:w:I am the walrus|I am the walrus] ]"?

The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say?

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch

The Dude: Oh yeah!

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: That's ex— Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!

Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?

Walter Sobchak: Fuckin exactly what happened to those— That makes me fuckin sick!

The Dude: Well, what do you care, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fuckin thing! I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so this fuckin strumpet, this fuckin whore could waltz around town–

The Dude: Walter, Walter, I don't see any connection to Vietnam, man.

Walter Sobchak: Well there isn't a literal connection, Dude.

The Dude: Walter, face it. There isn't any connection. Your roll.

Walter Sobchak: Have it your way, but my point that—

The Dude: Your roll.

Walter Sobchak: My point is—

Jesus Quintana: Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up!

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes "click".

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.

Walter Sobchak: Eight year olds, Dude.

Bunny: [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.

Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

The Dude: He fixes the cable?

Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Moe Flatbush: Trust. You can't buy trust, right? l trust my mother - sometimes.

Phyllis McGuire: I'm not who you think I am.

Sam Giancana: Mrs McGuire, maybe I'm not who you think I am.

Sam Giancana: Do yourself a favor. Stick to singing.

Phyllis McGuire: If you don't mind, I'll stick to whatever I feel like.

Sam Giancana: Well, the way you play cards. Your gonna make a lot of Casino's real happy.

Phyllis McGuire: Has anyone ever tell you that your really obnoxious?

Sam Giancana: [laughs] Not recently.

Phyllis McGuire: Could be the first.

Robert F. Kennedy: Giancana, is it true that if you have any opposition from anyone that you have them stuffed into a trunk of a car and murdered?

Sam Giancana: (short pause) I decline to answer.

Robert F. Kennedy: Giancana, is it not true that you are now the most powerful Mafia figure here in America?

Sam Giancana: I decline to answer because I honestly believe that my answer might incriminate me.

Sam Giancana: [to two FBI agents; [w:Dan Rowan|Dan Rowan] We do you a favor. We want our Casino's in Havana back, okay? That's number one. Number two, no interference in the shrimp business. But first of all, I want you wire tapping geniuses to bug this fucking ].

Sam Giancana: [to Phyllis] You know, you tell me you wanted Venice. I built Venice. You know that I fucked around with the river out here to make it more like Venice. Look at me when I'm talking at you. I'm talking a major investment in romantic shit here!

Hunt Stevenson: First of all, I think you all should know something. See...gee, I don't know, I figure we made fifteen... you know...if we made 13,000 cars, we'd be so close to 15,000 right? That if we...

Willie: Hunt. What are you trying to tell us?

Hunt Stevenson: I lied.

Willie: My god.

Hunt Stevenson: Yeah, there was no...there was no deal for 13,000 cars.

Buster: We walked out on a lie?

Hunt Stevenson: I never in a million years thought it could lead to this, I swear.

Willie: You should've told us the truth.

Hunt Stevenson: The truth? You don't want the truth. You want to hear that Americans are better than anybody else. They're kicking our butts, that ain't luck. There's your truth. Sure, the great old American do-or-die spirit. Yeah, it's alive. But they've got it. I tell you, we'd better get it back. We'd better get it back damn fast. Instead, we're strutting around telling ourselves how great we are. I guess if I was really a leader, I would've told you this months ago. Instead, I was telling you basketball stories. I put myself in front of the town and I m really sorry. I swear to you, man, I m really sorry.

Sal: What'd I tell you about that noise?

Buggin Out: What'd I tell you about them pictures?

Sal: What the fuck, are you deaf?

Buggin Out: No! Are you? FUCK YOU! We want some black people on that motherfucking Wall of Fame now!

Mookie: We're trying to go fucking home! We've been here all fucking day, Buggin Out!

Sal: Turn that jungle music off! We ain't in Africa!

Buggin Out: Why it got to be about jungle music? Why it got to be about Africa? It's about them fucking pictures!

Sal: It's about turning that shit off and getting the fuck out of my place!

Pino: RADIO RAHEEM!

Radio Raheem: Fuck you!

Sal: AND FUCK YOU TOO!

Ahmad: Get in there, Pino!

Radio Raheem: This is music. My music!

Sal: FUCK YOUR MUSIC!

Radio Raheem: Well, turn it off, then.

Vito: Hey, man, get the fuck out of here! We're fucking closed!

Buggin Out: Fuck you! We're closing you guinea bastards for good! For good, motherfucker! Until you get some black people on that motherfucking Wall of Fame!

Sal: You're gonna fucking close me?

Buggin Out: You're goddamn right!

Sal: YOU BLACK COCKSUCKER!! I'LL FUCKING TEAR YOUR FUCKING NIGGER ASS!

Punchy: [Over all the shouting] Oh, we're niggers now?! We niggers now!

Buggin Out: YOU FUCKING WHITE TRASH! I'LL FUCK YOU UP!

Mookie: Sal, put the fucking bat down!

Buggin Out: COME ON, MAN, YOU FUCKING GUINEA TRASH!

Sal: YOU BLACK COCKSUCKER!! YOU NIGGER MOTHERFUCKER!

Mookie: You dago, wop, guinea, garlic breath, pizza slinging, spaghetti bending, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, non-singing motherfucker.

Pino: You gold teeth, gold chain wearing, fried chicken and biscuit eating, monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast running, high jumping, spear chucking, three-hundred-sixty-degree basketball dunking, titsun, spade, mulignan. Take your fucking pizza piece and go the fuck back to Africa.

Stevie: You little slanty eyed, me-no-speaky-American, own-every-fruit-and-vegetable-stand-in-New-York, bullshit, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Summer Olympic 88, Korean kickboxing son-of-a-bitch.

Officer Long: You Goya bean eating, fifteen-in-a-car, thirty-in-an-apartment, pointed shoes, red wearing, Menudo, mira-mira Puerto Rican cocksucker. Yeah, you!

Sonny: It's cheap! I got a good price for you, Mayor Koch, "How-I'm-doing?", chocolate egg cream drinking, bagel and lox, B'nai B'rith, Jew asshole.

Mister Señor Love Daddy: Yo! Hold up! Time out! Time out! Y'all take a chill! Ya need to cool that shit out! And that's the double truth, Ruth!

Mookie: Pino, who's your favorite basketball player?

Pino: [[Magic Johnson] ].

Mookie: And who's your favorite movie star?

Pino: [[Eddie Murphy] ].

Mookie: And who's your favorite rock star?

Mookie: [[Prince (musician)|Prince] ]. You're a Prince freak.

Pino: [[Bruce Springsteen|Bruce] Boss. ].

Mookie: Prince.

Pino: Bruce!

Mookie: Pino, all you ever talk about is nigger this and nigger that, and all your favorite people are so-called niggers.

Pino: It's different. Magic, Eddie, Prince... are not niggers. I mean, they're not black, I mean - Let me explain myself. They're - They're not really black. I mean, they're black, but they're not really black. They're more than black. It's different.

Mookie: It's different?

Pino: Yeah. To me, it's different.

Pino: Daddy, you know, I've been thinking... maybe we should sell this place, get out while we're still ahead... and alive.

Sal: You really think you know what's best for us, Pino?

Pino: Maybe we can... can we sell this and open up a new one in our own neighborhood?

Sal: There's too many pizzerias already there.

Pino: Then maybe we could... we could try something different.

Sal: What am I gonna do? What am I - that's all I know. What am I doing? I been here twenty-five years. Where am I going?

Pino: I'm sick of niggers. It's like I come to work, it's Planet of the Apes. I don't like being around them. They're animals.

Sal: Why you got so much anger in you?

Pino: Why? I'll tell you why. My friends, they laugh at me. They laugh right in my face. They tell me, "Go to Bed-Stuy. Go feed the moulies".

Sal: Do your friends put money in your pocket, Pino? Food on your table? They pay your rent, a roof over your head? They're not your friends. If they were your friends they wouldn't laugh at you.

Pino: Pop, what can I say? I don't want to be here. They don't want us here. We should stay in our own neighborhood, stay in Bensonhurst, and the niggers should stay in theirs.

Sal: I never had no trouble with these people. I sat in this window. I watched these little kids get old. And I seen the old people get older. Yeah, sure, some of them don't like us, but most of them do. I mean, for Christ's sake, Pino, they grew up on my food. On my food. And I'm very proud of that. Oh, you may think It's funny, but I'm very proud of that. Look, what I'm trying to say, son, is, uh... Sal's Famous Pizzeria is here to stay. I'm sorry. I'm your father, and I love you, I'm sorry but... but that's the way it is.

Buggin Out: Hey, hey, Sal, how come you ain't got no brothers up on the wall here?

Sal: You want brothers up on the wall, get your own place. You can do what you want to do. You can put your brothers and uncles and nieces and nephews, step-fathers, step-mothers, whoever you want. See? But, this is *my* pizzeria. American Italians up on the wall.

Vito: Take it easy, Pop.

Pino: Don't start.

Buggin Out: Yeah, that might be fine, Sal, but, you own this, rarely do I see any American Italians eatin in here. All I see is Black folks. So since we spend much money here, we do have some say.

Sal: You lookin for trouble? You a troublemaker, is that what you are? You makin trouble?

Buggin Out: Yeah! I'm a troublemaker. I'm makin trouble.

Sal: You're a ball breaker. Always comin in here lookin for trouble, aren't you. Suppose I busted your head. How would you - Now, Mookie. Mookie, you wanna get your friend outta here.

Buggin Out: Oh, you wanna kick me out now? You're gonna kick me out, huh?

Sal: Nah, I'm not kickin you out. You're kickin yourself out.

Buggin Out: [[Malcolm X; [Nelson Mandela; [Michael Jordan] What? Look, we want some brothers up on the wall. Yo, ], ], you know, ]. Tomorrow!

Mookie: [[Frank Sinatra] Pino, fuck you, fuck your fucking pizza, and fuck ].

Pino: [[Michael Jackson] Yeah? Well, fuck you, too, and fuck ].

Sam: [While suffering from the Decepticon watch] I need to know how you’re gonna fight back. I know this is strategy, I know you’re coming back with reinforcements, something. I know there’s a plan. You can tell me. No other human will ever know.

Optimus: There is no plan.

Sam: If we just do what they want, how are we gonna live with ourselves?

Optimus: You are my friend, Sam. You always will be. But your leaders have spoken. From here…the fight will be your own.

Bumblebee: We’re gonna do everything we can, to make it like it was. You will always be my friend, Sam. I got to be moving on.

Simmons: Years from now they’re gonna ask us; “Where were you when they took over the planet?” We’re gonna say; “We just stood by and watched.”

Simmons: I wanna talk to whoever’s in charge here! Well, well, well. Charlotte Mearing.

Charlotte: [[w:Transformers (film)|survived Washington.] Agent Simmons. Former Agent Simmons. So I see you ]

Simmons: [[w:Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen|Egypt] Washington, ], heartbreak. I survive. I will survive!

Toby Stempel: My mother want to know why you only went for eight on the movies.

Herb Stempel: Because my real expertise is pain-in-the-ass in-laws, all right?

Herb Stempel: Don't do this to me, it's humiliating.

Dan Enright: For seventy grand, Herb, you can afford to be humiliated.

Herb Stempel: And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything.

Herb Stempel: [Referring to television] That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it.

Herb Stempel: You know why they call them Indians? Because Columbus thought he was in India. They're Indians because some white guy got lost.

Herb Stempel: You want to know what? If I do nothing else I will convince them that Herbert Stempel knows what won the goddamned Academy Award for best picture of 1955; that's what I'm gonna accomplish.

Herb Stempel: [To his wife] You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.

Herb Stempel: [To a reporter outside the Congressional hearing room] You know what the problem with you bums is? You never leave a guy alone unless you're leaving him alone.

Herb Stempel: This week on Twenty One, watch Herb Stempel be fed to the Columbia lions. Watch Charles Van Doren eat his first kosher meal on Twenty One.

Herb Stempel: Charles Van Doren — he wouldn't know the answer to a doorbell if you didn't give it to him.

Mort Rainey: What is happening to me?

John Shooter: Oh, I think you know. I think you have a real good idea.

Mort Rainey: You don't exist.

John Shooter: [''Flashbacks show Mort killing Ken Karsch and Tom Greenleaf and setting fire to his ex-wife's house, wearing Shooter's hat''] Me? I exist, Mr. Rainey. I exist because... you made me. You thought me up. Gave me my name. Told me everything you wanted me to do. I did them things so you didn't have to. Didn't have the stomach to do it yourself, but you knew I did. Are we done yet? We got things all cleaned up around here? What's the real reason I come for?

Mort Rainey: Fix the story.

John Shooter: That's right.

Mort Rainey: Fix the ending. Got to fix the ending.

John Shooter: [''Shooter places his hat in Mort's hands as Amy's car pulls into the driveway''] And how exactly do you suppose we ought to do that?

John Shooter: You stole my story.

Mort Rainey: I'm sorry... I don't believe I know you.

John Shooter: I know that. That doesn't matter. I know you, Mr. Rainey; that's what matters. You stole my story.

Mort Rainey: You're mistaken. I don't read manuscr-

John Shooter: You read this one already. You stole it.

Mort Rainey: I can assure you that-

John Shooter: I know you can; I know that. I don't wanna be assured.

Mort Rainey: If you want to talk to someone about some grievance you may have, you can call my literary agent.

John Shooter: This is between you and me. We don't need any outsiders, Mr. Rainey; it is strictly between you and me.

Mort Rainey: All right. Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are. I don't like being accused of plagiarism, if that is in fact what you're accusing me of. Chico, inside!

John Shooter: I don't blame you for not likin it, but you did it.

Mort Rainey: You're gonna have to leave; I have nothing more to say.

John Shooter: Yeah, I'll go. We'll talk more later.

Mort Rainey: I'm not taking that.

John Shooter: Won't do you any good to play games, Mister Rainey. This has got to be settled.

Mort Rainey: So far as I'm concerned, it is.

John Shooter: How'd you get it? That's what I really wanna know. How the hell did a big, money-scribblin asshole like you get down to a little shitsplat town in Mississippi and steal my goddamn story?

John Shooter: You strike me as the type of guy who's lookin for a head he can knock off with a shovel. But what you don't understand is that if we do start to fight... this ain't gonna end, until the other one of us is dead.

John Shooter: I suppose so. I suppose that's why I came all the way up here from Mississ'ippi.

John Shooter: Won't do you any good to play games with me, Mr. Rainey. This has got to be settled.

Richard Chance: I wanna get Rick Masters.

Carl Cody: I've taken four falls, I've never ratted anybody in my life, and I've had plenty of chances, believe me.

Richard Chance: Masters is your friend. I don't blame you, I would never hang up a friend. Anybody who would is a piece of shit. Thing is, your friend tried to have you iced.

Carl Cody: That doesn't mean I'm gonna roll over and play informer. If you're looking for a pigeon, go to the park.

Rick Masters: You have my word you won't have to do the whole nickel.

Carl Cody: What does that mean?

Rick Masters: Grimes is the best lawyer in the state. It'll either be an appeal bond or a sentence reduction.

Carl Cody: And the check is in the mail, and I love you, and I promise not to come in your mouth...

Rick Masters: How you making it?

Carl Cody: Like every other swinging dick in this place makes it. Day by motherfucking day.

Carl Cody: [about Max Waxman] He's a lying son of a bitch! He's probably the motherfucker who did me. He ratted me to the feds. I'll kill him when I get out! I'm gonna give that fuckin scumbag a serious headache. May God strike me dead if I don't waste him.

Carmine Falcone: His father saved my life. I got shot in the chest. Right here. I couldn't go to no hospital, so we showed up on his doorstep, operated right on the dining room table. Kid here, he... He saw the whole thing up on the stairs, looking down. I remember your face. You don't think that meant something he did there?

Bruce Wayne: It means he took the Hippocratic Oath.

Falcone: Hippocratic Oath". That's good.

Jesus Quintana: Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell *you* something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. [walks off]